'AITA for telling my ex's parents why we broke up and that her kid is not mine?' UPDATED

Ten days earlier, OP shared this first post:

"AITA for leaving the party after what my GF did and asking for space?"

I (24M) used to think that I have a great relationship with my gf (26F). We were together for 8 years and had a long distance relationship for a few years. I even have a ring ordered for her. I was ready to propose. She always say to me we have to wait till marriage. So the only thing we did was kiss and hug.

We went to a party last Saturday and we were late, I was an hour early about 5pm when I arrive at her house and waited about until near 6pm, she had to put all that makeup and even wear a revealing dress. We got into an argument about it. She said I was insecure if I won't let her dress the way she want. I just said, she either change her dress or I will go at the party on my own without her.

Her dad told her to listen to me and to not look promiscuous. Then she changed her dress. It was more formal. I don't know how to describe it but before she changed her dress it was more like a night gown than a dress.

We went to the party. It was nice. It was our friend group. The party was a birthday of her bff. We drink a little. Then a presentation about her bff was shown.the slideshow started. And a few slides in. I saw a video of her bff twerking on a foreigners lap. She covered my eyes, I asked why.

But then my friend pointed at the back of the video. It was my gf kissing another man, not just kissing but other physical stuff. I asked when was the video taken or is it AI. Her bff said, last March. So in context march was my birth month. She did not attend my birthday because her bff scheduled a 2 week trip to Japan. And after that trip she love bombed me. Gifts, going to my house to cook and clean.

I stood up give her money for a ride home. Then said apologized to our friends for leaving early. I did not look back just went to my car then leave. Currently, I am not replying to any of her calls or texts. She even had my family talk to me saying she made a mistake.

I said I am fine just thinking and the ring arrived this Wednesday. I am not sure if I even want to propose anymore and I did not tell anyone from her family. I heard from the groupchat that my gf or possibly ex is not talking to anyone from the party and she left the gc. Right now her last message was a threat about ending herself if I don't reply. I replied about needing more time to think. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Individual_Row_2950 said:

NTA. Stay strong, keep your Head up. Her Manipulation strategy reveals her character.

Sebscreen said:

NTA. You were already nicer than you needed to be giving her money for a ride after finding out she cheated.

And MyDirtyAlt79 said:

Don't reply. She cheated on you and never would have told you. You process your emotions how you choose to, but you don't have to contact her unless you want to. It's on her to deal with the shame of being a cheater and one that was so publicly revealed. At least she can't try to spin the narrative since her own friends saw what she did. NTA.

Then he shared this UPDATE:

"AITA for telling my ex's parents why we broke up and her kid is not mine?"

So this is an update of my last post. So recap, my friends show a photo and videos of my ex cheating in Japan, during her girls trip at my birthday month, last march. She tried to contact me the last few days until two days ago she stopped.

So earlier this day, she went to my house with her parents and dropped a bomb. She is pregnant and her parents were so happy that according to them. They will have their first grand baby. I asked my ex, if she didn't tell them. Her parents asked, "told them what?"

I told them everything, from her telling me to wait till marriage to the time she cheated in Japan and how our friends showed me her affair and her threats of ending herself. Her mom started being hysterical. She is told me I was lying and asked that if I wasn't the father, then who was it?

I told them to ask her. But she double down and said I was the only one she slept with. I said we never slept together and said I am not the father. I asked how many months pregnant was she. She said 5 months almost 6. I told them that she got pregnant at March, the month she went to Japan. I felt bad for the looks her parents gave her. They look disappointed at her and ashamed.

Her father then stood up and asked her who was the real father. She keeps telling it was me, until her mother looked at her and said stop digging a bigger hole. She said she didn't know and even said it was a one time thing and is a virgin before and after she went to Japan.

My brother finally had enough and said. Who in the world was she joking and are the three wise men returning. She told us it was the truth and started spouting nonsense and told me it was the truth.

I just told her to get a DNA test, she just told me sure and she walked away. Her dad just sighed and apologize for his daughter. Her mom looked at me and said to me she believes me and she will talk to her daughter.

I just said I know that the kid is not mine so I am not afraid, they said they believe me and will not ask to support the child during the pregnancy, they just want me to relax and look for some DNA testing clinics. I said I will and they said that if the kid is not mine they will reimburse me the cash that is needed.

Right now, I am researching about DNA testing clinics here in the Philippines and if it is possible for it to be done before the child is born. However, my ex posted something about deadbeat fathers and how some parents will believe others but not their own daughter. AITA?

This is what commenters had to say in response to the update:

I_wanna_be_anemone said:

The good news is that the paternity test will solve everything. She can vague-post all she likes on social media, if any flying monkeys try to come after you then all you’ll need to do is announce the paternity test results and that ex cheated, hence you broke up. But good luck to her finding whoever she slept with… They’d be hard pressed to argue with that.

OP responded:

Thanks I am still searching for some clinics near me. I know the Kid is not mine. none of her friends are even siding with her. I feel bad for her.

Dull-Assistance1910 said:

NTA. Obviously. Look into Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity Testing (NIPP). It is completely safe, only requiring a blood sample from the mother and a cheek swab from you. No need for any drama here. Just get the test, prove you're not the father, then move on with your life.

OP responded:

Really? I will try to search more about it. Thank you very much.

mca2021 said:

"my ex posted something about deadbeat fathers and how some parents will believe others but not their own daughter." I'd respond and point out how some women try to trap men into being fathers, knowing they aren't, which a DNA will prove. NTA.

OP responded:

She deleted her post now. Her friends posted her photo of cheating. I guess they want her to stop. Someone even commented that he would step up, but was called out for being a simp by her friends.

Sirregularguy said:

NTA. How can she think she can pin a baby on you when you haven't slept with her? Funny how she wants to make you wait but hooks up with some Chad while on vacation. Glad you dodged a bullet as she is crazy. Getting pregnant proves she cheated on you. Her parents need to know the truth!

OP responded:

I know and none of her friends are siding with her even her best friend so, I feel bad.

Square_Weakness2587 said:

I’d post on Facebook that cheating with a stranger in Japan does not make an ex that never slept with you the father of your child, or deserving of your false accusations and let the paternity test tell the truth.

And OP responded:

Yeah she deleted her post after our friends called her out on the comment section.