'AITA for telling my half-sisters that the difference between us is very clear?'
"AITA for telling my half-sisters that the difference between us is very clear?"
I'm Eleni, (25F) My story began when I was young. I grew up in a large family, and when I say large, I mean literally large.
My mom, dad, three half-sisters from my dad's deceased wife (Sophia, Tia, and Monica), me, my two younger sisters (Noah and Nia, the twins), my unmarried aunt, my two grandmothers, and my paternal grandfather. My large family of 12 members. None of them worked except my dad, mom, and aunt.
Our financial situation is rubbish. I always felt that our financial situation would have been great if my dad had stopped spending so much money on his daughters from his first wife. And when I say a lot of money, it really is. He buys them expensive things. Clothing and makeup, I remember one time he bought Mony a dress for $250, while he refused to give me taxi money. Gifts for no reason.
When I complained to my grandfather about my father, he told me that my sisters didn't have a mother to care for them and that my father wanted to make up for it. And that when my sisters grew up, they would work and the situation would end. But that didn't happen because all three of them entered private universities near our house.
My father wanted to buy them cars, and of course, our situation got much worse. Noah and Nia only had two jackets for the winter, which they changed into as spare parts. As time went on, my sisters didn't work. When I was 17, my father came to prepare me so I could start working at 18, pay rent, and contribute to the household expenses.
The strange thing is that my entire family agreed. I asked my father why his daughters didn't work. He told me I shouldn't compare myself to someone who doesn't have a mother. I told him that my mother treated them like her own children; she probably pampered them more than we did.
Of course, I worked in a restaurant and at a bookstore. Noah and Nia grew up and went to different universities. Years passed, and I graduated, worked, and helped Noah and Nia. Two weeks ago, I was at work. Nia called and said she was under my new house and needed someone to open the door for her. I went home, let her in, and we sat down.
Suddenly, she told me that her father had kicked her out of the house because she refused to work. (For your information, Nia's field of study is difficult and requires focus, and it's hard for her to work while studying.) Moni called and asked me to explain her mistake to Nia and let her work and pay her father's rent.
I cursed Moni and told her that she was selfish like her father and that she and her siblings were spoiled in our father's house. Of course, I was met with her famous crying spell. Everyone called, even Sophie the Charismatic called and asked me how I could upset her sister. And she thought there was no difference between us. I told her that the difference between us was very clear.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
BigBackeron wrote:
I'm assuming Monica = Mony = Moni?
NTA. It's unfortunate that your father played the favoritism game and had higher expectations for you unfairly. I would stop talking to the other half of the family and the father as they clearly won't stop being toxic anytime soon.
OP responded:
At first I thought he was trying to make up for their mother, but he forgot about my siblings and me.
Elegant-Way-595 wrote:
Wow…that sounds seriously messy 😬. Like, you’ve been hustling your whole life, working and helping out, and your sisters just…got spoiled rotten? Totally makes sense you called it out. Don’t feel bad for being real with them. Just, like, keep standing your ground and don’t get sucked into all their drama too much ❤️.
OutragedPineapple wrote:
NTA. "I'm supposed to feel bad for them getting everything they ever wanted handed to them while me and my actual sisters starved and froze because they didn't have a mother? My real sisters and I didn't have a mother either, or a father, because the two of you were far too busy kissing their asses to remember we existed."
"As far as I'm concerned, myself and my actual sisters are orphans. I will not send you money or help you with anything. You will not be at my wedding, you will not meet my children. You are nothing to me. Your daughters are nothing to me."
"They can cry and pretend like they're sad little victims all they want, but I am done catering to their whims and pretending we have anything in common. We might have grown up in the same house, but we had completely different lives. They had a home and a family that gave them everything. My real sisters and I had nothing and no one but each other, and now?"
"We don't need you. We don't want you. You are nothing, and we will not help you. You'd best hope at least one of your spoiled brats manages to trick someone into marrying her that has money, because we will not be taking care of you in your old age. The only ones you gave a damn about can take on that burden."
SupernovaMax wrote:
NTA. Wow talk about toxic! My advice is to distance yourself from that entire family and leave your dad to take care of his golden children. While you work on yourself and keep in close contact with your siblings.
Paevatar wrote:
NTA. In some ways your father has done you a favor. You are strong and able to earn your living. Your younger sisters presumably will be, as well. However your father's spoiling has made the three older ones weak and useless. I wonder who is going to support their idleness once your father is gone.