'AITA for telling my sister in-laws to get a job in order to make a point about their lifestyles?'
"AITA for telling my in-laws to get a job?"
I've been stressed out lately and I think I blew up on them and was unnecessarily rude now that I'm calming down enough to think about it. Me and my husband both work. We have a 3 year old. He works at an office job while I work from home while being a stay at home mom. So I keep the house together, cook dinner and work while keeping my toddler entertained.
It's tough, but we're doing it and have a system. My job is flexible and as long as I get tasks done at the end of the week, they're happy. Some days I don't get to work all day and have to work into the night. Life got tough and I began to get behind on tasks so we agreed to try out daycare once a week so that can be my one full "work day" without being a mom or focusing on the house.
Anyway, my in-laws keep making comments about it that piss me off. When I first mentioned it, they were shocked and said that we're spending a lot of money just for something I can do. After a few months, they started making comments like "oh its your break day!" Or "you get to relax today."
My two sister-in-laws are stay at home moms and I just can't find myself relating with them. They talk often about how they get to nap during the day and how they do playdates and drink wine with other moms. They talk about all these shows they watch or tiktok trends. I don't ever have time for those unless I stay up after bedtime but I'm usually too exhausted for that.
I don't judge their lifestyle, in fact I'm happy that they are able to do this and hope that once my husband finishes his schooling and we get to a good financial position, I can live like that too! I usually can ignore them but last night we were over at a family gathering. My MIL and two SILs were talking and they mentioned how today would be my "break day" again.
I laughed awkwardly and tried to change the subject but my sister in law kept exclaiming that I'm sooo lucky and that she's envious that I get a break just to relax. I tried to mention that its not much of a break with working, but my other in laws chimed in and were talking about how they wished they could just leave their kids without a care.
I don't know what happened but I snapped. I stood up, told them that they should "get a job to see how hard it really is" and walked away. My husband quickly packed us all up and we left. We agree that I overreacted but I just wanted to see what other people think. I think I should apologize to them.
Edit to add: My husband does just as much as I do, if not more!! I get more sleep than he does. We just are trying not to get any debt and are investing in our future right now. I didn't mean to make it sound like he's slacking.
The internet did not hold back one bit.
razzledazzle626 wrote:
First and foremost, stop calling yourself a stay at home mom. You are not a stay at home mom. You are a working mom who manages her household while constantly multitasking.
ItWorkedInMyHead wrote:
What are you apologizing for - telling the truth? They've been purposely misrepresenting what you do every time they open their mouths. All you did was correct them. You didn't overreact. If anything, you've been underreacting, while allowing them to mistreat you. You simply met their aggression with something they understand. Good for you.
And your husband "agreed" you overreacted. Well, he's just a peach, isn't he? Why hasn't he spoken up to defend you, to get his obnoxious sisters and mother in line, to tell these bullies that what they're doing is unacceptable? He's the one you need to speak to, and you're the one who is owed an apology, from every single one of them.
Mummifiedsu wrote:
Don’t you dare apologize!!! just reiterate how you came close to losing your job as you couldn’t just do your job at home. You had your child also then shared all the chores. The day without your child is literally a last ditch attempt at keeping your head above water in your work life.
Lemon586 wrote:
NTA. Working from home and being a stay at home mom is doing 2 full time jobs simultaneously. It is NOT easy. I used to watch my nephew while working from home, and it was tough. But I was lucky enough to send him home at the end of the day. You do not get a break, even on your "break day". That just gives you 1 day a week to be able to focus on the job that helps pay the bills.
hubertburnette wrote:
NTA. I really empathize--sooo many people still don't understand what it means to work from home. I thought covid was going to change that, but it didn't. Ideally, you wouldn't have snapped, but, as far as I can tell, nothing short of snapping will get people like that to stop.
Mowsmom22 wrote:
Don’t apologize. They are being petty at your expense. It’s not a joke if it’s laughing at your expense. Don’t grovel. They already think they are better than you. Keep doing you. Be the best version of you for your family. Pay this no attention!
NoThanks8790 wrote:
NTA except to yourself. You’re not a stay at home mom if you’re working. Get your husband to step up and do his share and stop following whatever crap you guys are listening to that says that women should take care of the house. If he uses a bathroom or a dish he can clean it too.