'AITA for telling my mother-in-law that she can’t bring her dog to our home?'

"AITA for telling my mother-in-law that she can’t bring her dog to our home?"

My wife and I live in a small condo with a 1 year old son and 2 cats. My mother in law has a small Maltese dog which is very loud, always barking. This dog has growled at our son multiple times, and even tried to bite him in the past. On top of that, our 2 cats get very upset whenever she brings the dog over to our place. They will hide under the bed and hiss.

My mother-in-law has noticed this, and has apologized that the cats are uncomfortable. While we let her bring her dog in the past, the last time we decided that the dog wasn’t safe for our son, and that the cats shouldn’t have to deal with seeing this dog if it makes them uncomfortable, I decided that I didn’t want her dog to visit anymore with her.

My wife has said multiple times she doesn’t want the dog over either, but she’s afraid to offend her mother. Her mother will bring the dog to restaurants, shopping malls under the guise that the dog is a “service” animal and even attempted to bring her into the hospital when our son was born, before she was told no.

The other day we invited her over, and I told her when she comes to not bring her dog. She got really angry and started yelling on the phone saying she won’t bother coming, only her husband will come. It’s been almost 2 weeks. My wife tried to call her twice and she hasn’t picked up. My father in law said she’s offended because she brought the dog in the past.

I told him that we decided after the last time the dog came and our son’s safety was at risk as well as the fact that the cats were upset meant that we decided going forward that other than our two cats, no pets are allowed at our home anymore. I explained that it’s not a direct attack, but if anyone else wanted to bring a pet, we would also say they could not.

Apparently my mother-in-law expects us to contact her even though we did twice and she didn’t answer. I have decided I’m not contacting her and she can contact me/my wife if she wants to talk after she ignored my wife’s two calls. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

OwlBeBack88 wrote:

NTA. YOU live in your house. YOU get to decide who visits, be that human or animal. The dog is aggressive, has already nearly bitten your child, and terrorizes your cats.

Just because it was welcome before, doesn't mean it has to be now. You are fully within your rights to decide to keep it out of your house, and if your MIL is not going to respect the comfort and safety of your family, then she doesn't get to come over.

Pappy579 wrote:

NTA. My guess is that if the dog behaved itself around your son, more than the cats, this wouldn't be an issue. Your MIL doesn't seem like a reasonable person and it seems her dog is a higher priority than her own family. While she won't see past her own selfishness, the ball is in her court to come to you.

Expert_Slip_7543 wrote:

NTA. You sound like very sweet people. I would like to be friends with folks like you. Now get a backbone! This is an easy one, an oh hell no ("no you don't bring Fido Berserko into this home with our baby") one.

Future efforts to protect your child won't always be so obvious. So practice saying No for future scenarios, by saying it now, steadily and unwaveringly and without guilt and without hiding the truth or making up excuses, just the straight truth, to your entitled and reckless MIL.

Temporary_Fee_1448 wrote:

NTA. Service dog handler here, I don’t even take my guy when I go to someone else’s house (unless we are traveling and it’s okay with the owner of the house, I do my best to make sure my guy isn’t a burden) but I’ve had two close friends have babies in the last two months and I left my guy home to meet the babies, they did not ask me to leave him at home. I decided it was best and they appreciated it.

The growling and barking at your baby will only escalate as your child grows up, toddler stage is going to be even worse. I would seriously worry that the child could be harmed by the dog, if it has attempted to bite your kid now it probably will end up nipping or biting your child as they get even more mobile.

Something about the way babies move and toddlers move that freaks some dogs out and it seems this dog needs training and separation from your child. The relationship might change as your child grows up (like kindergarten age) or it may not. Protect your child, if it hurts your MIL and she decides to not have a relationship with your child then that’s on her. Sorry you and your wife are dealing with this OP.

slackerchic wrote:

"This dog has growled at our son multiple times, and even tried to bite him in the past." Oh hell no. So your MIL is essentially saying she chooses her own comfort of bringing her animal to your house over the safety of her grandchild? Her inability to properly train her dog is on her. NTA and good on you for putting your family's NEEDS over your mil's WANTS.

ironchef8000 wrote:

How unyieldingly childish is this woman? Yeah she brought the dog last time. That was the problem. NTA.

Mathamagician77 wrote:

NTA, but now your wife knows the dog is more important than she and her family is. Hang in there.