'AITA for telling my niece I can’t help pay for her college?'
"AITA for telling my niece I can’t help pay for her college?"
My 52M younger brother passed away 10 years ago to cancer, he left behind an 8 year old daughter at the time, about two years after his death his wife got remarried and they moved to a different state taking my niece with them.
Apparently her new stepdad was good to her and when she was around 14 he adopted her and she took his last name and she basically ghosted our family and said that she doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore.
She even kept rejecting my mom and she ended up passing away a few months after that due to a heart attack, we all suspect her getting rejected by my niece had a huge part in it and after that we just didn’t reach out to her because we were honestly angry at her, at that point she was 15 not an adult but old enough to know what she was doing.
A couple of months ago she reached out after years of silence, she asked for her part of mom’s inheritance and I told her there was nothing left for her which was true, everything was left to me and my sister, then got mad and started cussing out my dead mother and I told her to shut up and show respect.
She said she’s starting college and that her parents have financial issues right now and can’t pay for it and she demanded I pay for it as it would only be fair since it’d be my late brother’s share of the inheritance.
I told her she shoved my brother away years ago and has a new dad now and that I’m not paying for anything because the inheritance wasn’t big anyway and it’s all almost gone with my own children’s colleges, she called me a disgrace and an AH and she tried guilting my sister to give her money next and she too refused because she isn’t that well off and her inheritance went into paying off debt.
She’s still harassing me for money, honestly if she was genuine and polite about it I’d have helped her out but after years of disrespecting her late father and our entire family and demanding money on top of that is too much for me, I don’t wanna call the authorities on her out of respect for my brother but she’s really making it hard on me.
And I feel like it’s important to state that I’m not really rich, I just don’t struggle because I’ve always been good with money but I just can’t give anybody a college fund out of nowhere, I’ve been saving for my kids ever since they were born and the inheritance just helped me a little bit but to her that must mean I’m some millionaire. How do I deal with her without involving the police? Is that even possible?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
You don't have a niece.
Suspicious_Debt5919 (OP)
She rejected me and my family years ago but it’s still hard to accept it I guess.
She only called for money. If your mother hadn't passed away, it's unlikely you would have even heard from her. Keep the money, tell her to stop harassing you because she is entitled to nothing, and let her know you'll seek a restraining order if she does not stop. NTA.
Block her and tell her stop contacting you and your family or you will go legal she’s a adult now.
She turned her back and moved on away from your family. Her mother should have put some of your brother’s estate away for her college. Block her.
nta your brother was deceased and didn't have an inheritance from your mom. Your niece disassociated from the family, so she has no inheritance coming. Tough nuts for her.
NTA. She still could have been a part of your family even after making her Step dad her dad. She didn’t. She’s just coming back for money.
You're too old to be disrespected by an angry teen. She made it quite clear that she wanted nothing to do with you and your family. Or maybe talk to her mother, have a meeting with her to discuss her daughter's behavior. If that doesn't work, block her and try to move on with your life.
If you really believe this, it sounds like you'll start accusing her of witchcraft next. Try logic not emotion. NTA for not giving her money, but YTA for blaming this death on an actual child who isn't in proximity to your mom and for believing that it was her goal to kill your mom. You sound unhinged.
NTA. Help like that is for people who care about having a relationship. She only cares about money, and she can ask her new dad and his family for the funds. She SHOULD go to college, but if she couldn't make an effort to have a relationship, it is not on you to help her attend.