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'AITA for telling my sister I won’t change my hair color for her wedding?' 'You can't have purple hair.'

'AITA for telling my sister I won’t change my hair color for her wedding?' 'You can't have purple hair.'


"AITA for telling my sister I won’t change my hair color for her wedding?"

My younger sister (28f) is getting married, we just went out of town to watch her wedding dress shop (she did find the dress and say yes). We went out for drinks after to celebrate, and the conversation of my (33f) light lilac purple hair came up, I get a lot of compliments when I’m out, and I think she was already a little irritated that every wedding place loved my hair.

Anyways she said I plan on asking you to be a bridesmaid in my wedding, but you can’t have purple hair, you’ll need to dye it brown, my response was, I worked really hard to achieve this color as it’s been my dream hair color for a very long time.

And that I’m not dyeing it for one day, that it won’t hurt my feelings to not stand up there with her and her million friends, especially considering I’m making her wedding cake and was already planning on finishing the decorations the day of her wedding.

I told her I’d have to scramble to finish her cake and get in for hair and makeup, and that I’m happy just sitting it out and making sure her cake is perfect. She snapped back with, you're my sister and I want you up there, it won’t hurt you to dye it brown for a day.

I love your hair but it’s my day and I want all the attention on me, not your hair. I simply responded back with I still stand by my decision to sit this one out, and she just said well we have a year to discuss it…

There is absolutely nothing to discuss, I’m not dyeing my hair brown for a wedding, therefore I simply won’t be in my sister's wedding, AITA for not letting everyone’s opinions and guilts make me change my hair for her big day?

Later, OP edited the post to include:

During our conversation I did make a joke about wearing a wig, and she didn’t find that funny nor seemed keen on my solution, I also mentioned slicking my hair back into a low pretty bun so facing frontwards you wouldn’t really see much of my hair, that also wasn’t a good solution.

I did also tell her I would consider lightening my hair to a silver platinum, and that way I could easily have it changed back to my lilac, I know it’s an issue because my mom was defending her stating it’s just hair and I can change to back from brown, not the case obviously, I’m dreading this conversation coming up again.

I am a baker (side gig), and I happily offered to make their cake, it’s something I enjoy doing, it’s always been something we talked about was me making her cake! However it’s a very extravagant 4 tier cake that is going to be very flowered up.

In my mind, I assumed I wouldn’t be asked to be a part of her wedding party since I told her the morning of her wedding I’ll stack the tiers and get the flowers placed how she wants...

I’d just be in my own little world getting that perfectly together. Never in a million years did I think there’d be an issue with my hair, being in the wedding, and getting the cake together all at once.

Sources: Reddit
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