'AITA for telling my sister it isn't my fault that I planned my life?' 'She didn't.'
"AITA for telling my sister it isn't my fault that I planned my life and she didn't?"
I am 30f and recently gave birth to my son. My husband 30m and I met in college, dated and got into same job field at age of 22. We got married at 25 and decided to wait for kid. As we loved to party and travel, we bought our house, travelled internationally and finally now focused on building our family.
As we want our baby to have a stable family life and no more late night outs. No regrets, we lived our 20s fully. My sister 38f ran away with a jobless man 40m , when she was 21. My parents weren't in favor of this relationship, as he was known drunkard. But she didn't listen. She left her MBA mid way and got married. Had her daughter at 22.
She lives with my parents , as her in laws kicked her out with her husband , just six months into the marriage, as both were lazy and contributed nothing to family. She has exploited my parents to core, but my parents refused to change and I can help the blind, until a limit.
They won't accept, but they have soft corner for her. As they lost their first child, when he was two months old and she was the precious child afterwards. I have already told parents to give my house share to niece in their will, 16 f, who is good at studies, a sensitive kid.
My parents and I have raised her. She is like daughter to me. I don't need the house. My parents have good pensions and I have a savings account for niece too. My sister and her husband barely lives paycheck to paycheck.
She has decent job, but she has multiple expenses, like going to parlor once a week and her useless husband wastes all of his money on drinks. My niece isn't close to her parents, as they didn't raise her at all. Just appearances.
They openly cheat on each other, but refuse to divorce, as they know they can't get better. Recently, she kept making bitter remarks on my perfect life, how my husband does lots of pda (he is too romantic openly which makes me blush and embarrassed). How I post my duplex house pics on insta. That I am gonna spoil my son.
I had enough and told her, it was my life choices and she made her own life choices. I told her that her daughter dislikes her, because she is failure of a mother, failure of a sister and daughter. I told her and her husband caused a loss of near 100k usd to parents.
Because they took money from loan sharks. And my parents had to sell land to save them. I told her to stop being jealous and focus on being better . She is near 40 and still acts like she is in college.
She started screaming and crying. I left. Now my parents messaged me to be not harsh on her, as she keeps screaming at them. I told them , it was their decision to house her and they have to develop spine.
Although I understand their co dependency on each other, as they are aging and she does chores for them. But I have given them option to live with me as they age. As my husband and I decided to take care of each other's parents in old age.
My sister made a social media post, that some women become airheads and arrogant, when they have some money. I wasn't boasting about this at all. We got same options to study. We were given same life. I choose what was best for me. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
IronDawn3366 said:
NTA. You made responsible life choices and shouldn't have to apologize for that. She needs to learn accountability for her actions.
BerneDoodleLover24 said:
NTA - the truth hurts. It is easier to blame someone else than oneself. It is bad, that your parents enabled your sister for so long.
TaskFew9201 said:
You are definitely NTA. It seems like your sister made her own choices and now she’s projecting her frustrations onto you. You’re just living your life, and it’s not your responsibility to fix the consequences of her decisions. Focus on your family and the future you’re building.
Otherwise_Degree_729 said:
NTA. They need to put everything in a trust that gives them monthly access and put the house in a trust under your nieces name. The older they get the easier it will be for them to take advantage of your parents. They will find themselves penniless and homeless if they don’t take precautions.
CyberRedhead27 said:
First, congratulations on the birth of your son, I have a feeling you will be amazing parents to the young man! Second, NTA. Your sister is trying to drag your successes down to the level of her failures, and you won't let her.
That's nothing to apologize for nor minimize for the sake of her ego. Keep walking the path that you're on, not just for you but for both of those kids.
Chance-Contract-1290 said:
NTA. Bad choices=Bad results, and Better choices=Better results. She’s bitter because that’s easier than making any real changes to her situation, but no one ever fixed their problems by drowning in their bitterness.
Turtlesarewise said:
NTA. It’s almost hilarious that your sister has the balls to think and acts this way towards you and family. She was given the same opportunity and she made her choices. Good luck to you, your family, and your niece!