'AITA for telling my sister she shouldn't have children?' 'She dropped out of high school.'

"AITA for telling my sister she shouldn't have children?"

I (25F) have never been close with my younger sister (20F), even when we were growing up. Not only did the age gap make it difficult, but so did the fact that she was very clearly favorited by my parents.

There's eight of us in total, and she's the youngest so naturally she can "do no wrong" and my parents have always coddled her a lot. Recently, it's gone to a whole new level. My sister has gone through a bit of a rough patch in life. She experienced a really bad friendship breakup, has been unemployed for a long period of time, and has moved back in with our parents.

Normally, I wouldn't think there's anything wrong with this. We all go through time times in life, so I am not judging her for any of that. However, I am judging her proposed "solution" to the problem, which is having a baby.

I don't know how but somehow in her mind she has convinced herself that if she has a baby with her current boyfriend (22M) it will fix her issues. She's been saying things about wanting to be loved unconditionally, and talking about the government benefits she'd be able to get from having the baby to "get back on her feet."

Worst of all, my parents are completely supporting this. They're devout Christians and believe that children are a blessing from God, and think that my sister is being guided by Him into making this decision.

And after a few weeks of listening to them all talk about how much of a blessing a child would be, I told my sister that a baby should be the last thing on her mind. She dropped out of high school her senior year, and her boyfriend has a degree but both of them live with their parents and have no stable source of income.

I was immediately scolded by my parents, who called me bitter and threw the fact that I don't have any kids in my face. My mom even said to a relative that I'm just jealous that not everyone wants to be alone for the rest of their life in misery like me, referring to me wanting to be child free.

It's caused such a rift between all of us, and now I'm being called on by other members of the family to apologize to my sister because it's really taking a toll on her. I just don't feel that I have anything to apologize for. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

bitofagrump said:

NTA. She's in for a very nasty reality check. Don't let her or your parents try to rope you into being free childcare when she does.

Bfan72 said:

NTA. I hope your parents are ready to raise another baby after 20 years of a break. Your sister will 100% use your parents as full time babysitters. Her boyfriend will ditch her. You will then be blamed for “wishing bad things for her” from your place of jealousy.

Curious_Exam_4636 said:

NTA but I think you need to reconsider your relationship with your family. As soon as your sister have this baby( because she will havd 1) your family will be reaching out to you and all your siblings for assist support as "family helps each other". Cut that cord and keep your money.

ScarletNotThatOne said:

You're not supposed to have a baby for what it can do for you (e.g., love you unconditionally). That's one of the worst possible reasons to have a baby. And unfortunately, very common.

And unfortunately, your sister is being encouraged by everyone around her, except for you. NTA for saying that it's a bad idea at this moment. Nothing to apologize for. And now that you've had your say, back off. You don't need to say it again and again.

Artshildr said:

NTA. Bringing a child into that mess of a situation would be such a selfish thing to do. She has no job and lives with her parents. Also: children do not love unconditionally. That's another selfish thing about this. Your sister needs therapy, not a baby.

AssociationBitter632 said:

Nta it’s honestly appalling that so many people think children are some kind of savior that’s gonna "fix them" it sets a really unhealthy expectation on the baby before they’re even born. Your parents are actually insane for even slightly supporting this idea honestly it all sounds mental.

Sad-Librarian-5179 said:

NTA. But I'd go further & make it very clear that I will not be helping them in the future if they do this. No free babysitting, no money, no living with me when shite hits the fan.

"You are knowingly having children, in an already troubled relationship, without the means to support them into the future. I will not be your safety net. I don't care how many family members try to guilt me into fixing your problems...I will not be the one paying for your bad choices."