'AITA for telling my uncle prison isn’t a flex?' 'Stop talking about it in front of my kids.'
"AITA for telling my uncle prison isn’t a flex so stop talking about it in front of my kids?"
I have this uncle Jimmy (50’s) who went to prison for 15 years and made his entire personality. He’s been out for 2 years and keeps talking about his time in prison and how it shaped him.
He’s not even successful by any means and is a cook at a fast food restaurant. I finally got sick of hearing it at a family gathering this weekend and he was talking about his prison name and how he got them.
I told him I don’t think going to prison a flex and stop talking about it around my kids because they will get the wrong impression about how prison is cool or something.
My whole family thinks I’m an a$s but I don’t think going to prison for so long is flex and it’s sad that he does this. My family and I were uninvited from the family 4th celebration tomorrow because they rather side with my uncle who is a felon than spend time with me and my family.
I’m not backing down because I want a better example for my own kids (ages 6-11) than their great uncle teaching them prison is cool.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Standard_Cell_8816 said:
Nta, but I mean, it's been 15 years. He ain't got much else to talk about...
Jazzlike_Property692 said:
YTA. 15 years is a LONG time. It does shape your life. Do you remember what life was like back in 2009? Things sure have changed a lot. His time in prison is literally all he has to relate to during this entire chunk of time. It's natural for him to reference it.
It sounds like he's accepted this portion of his life but you haven't, and you are ashamed of him. It doesn't sound like he's "flexing", just discussing reality.
You can't hide reality from your kids, but you can shape them into understanding the real world and not make them afraid of their uncle.
lordcommander55 said:
NAH the guy spent 15 years in prison. He doesn't have much else to talk about and is still adjusting to his new life. He needs to be able to share his experience. The fact they are not inviting you to family gatherings has me thinking there's more to this story and how you handled the situation.
Your kids don't don't to hear all the stories so perhaps all him to tone down the bad ones around them. It's also your job to speak with them in private and explain why your uncle is like that and went to prison. The 11 year old is old enough to understand.
Apprehensive-Ad4725 said:
YTA - you could have pulled him aside to let him know you didnt like this type of talk infront of the kids. 15 year is a large chunk of his life so it no surprise its a huge part of his personality.
Even if you dont think his post-prison life isnt that great, it is a success he was able to turn his life around. All around it could have been handled with more tact
Neat-Register-1923 said:
YTA - you’re making your family pick sides with your attitude. Is it a flex or is it just what he knows right now? Maybe discussing his current work (which you clearly look down on) isn’t as interesting?
As a parent, it’s your responsibility to speak w your kids about the outside influences they face. You cannot control others but you can control how it shapes your children by how you frame it and discuss it with them. You’re your own problem here, not your uncle.
No_Loan_9732 said:
I’m going to say YTA here because your assumption is that he’s bragging about it when you admit yourself that 15 of the last 17 years of this man’s life was spent in prison. It’s not easy to come back from that and he’s making the adjustment. Most people would be back in already.
You absolutely have a right to set boundaries with your kids - NTA there for sure. You could definitely be more understanding and compassionate to the guy though