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'AITA for telling people I'm still going to drink at a bachelor party?' 'The Best Man asked for solidarity.'

'AITA for telling people I'm still going to drink at a bachelor party?' 'The Best Man asked for solidarity.'

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"AITA for telling people i'm still going to drink at a bachelor party?"

A large group of friends and I are going to Tahoe for 3 nights for a bachelor party/guys trip (we haven't had one in over 2 years) later this month and over the last week drama has hit. Primarily by me.

I'm 35M, have a 2 year old and a 5 month old. I'm using vacation time and bought a flight 4 months ago to go on this trip. I don't get out much now a days with the 2 kids. I thought a few days with the boys and let loose would be awesome.

The groom proposed last spring and their wedding is this upcoming March. It was revealed this past week that the fiancé is 3 months pregnant. The whole group was shocked but congratulatory. She is going to be pregnant for her wedding.

A little while later the best man informed us that the groom quit drinking when she got pregnant. While they might drink later on in life, it would mean no drinking on the bachelor party. In solidarity the best man asked we don't drink also.

The gist of what I said was hell no. I spent a lot on this trip already, I'm borrowing future time off to go on this trip. My previous time off was used on my baby. I want to do stuff I'm going to enjoy. I understood that we were going for the groom, but I invested a lot of resources in this trip and I want to enjoy it.

I want to sit at a blackjack table and suck down a half dozen Coronas if my funds last long enough. I'm still going to drink. If I need to get a hotel at Harvey's or Bally's I will. I offered up a day and night to stay sober, but that was not taken well.

Half the group agrees with me, a few are indifferent and a few are backing the groom/best man. The best man has led the charge in calling me an ahole and telling me I'm being a bad friend. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

SubparSavant said:

I'm gonna say NTA because this was sprung (sprang? Springed? None of them look right to me) on you after you had already booked everything. You might not have gone to the whole thing if you had known.

Also maybe it's cultural, but here being teetotal would be considered a personal choice that you don't put on other people. Especially in a setting like a casino where having a drink is completely acceptable.

SheepherderNo2753 said:

Yep. It is unfair to spring that on those spending money on this AFTER they did so. I commend OP for willingness to compromise and have some 'dry' days, but demanding complete sobriety when that was FAR from the original plan... not good. NTA.

ILoveRegency said:

NTA in my book. I don't understand why people cannot be happy unless everyone is doing/acting/thinking identical to them. Furthermore, it's a bachelor party. The bachelor himself should be telling everybody to handle it however they want. The only exception to this is if the groom is in recovery from alcoholism, as I would not want to jeopardize his sobriety.

IAmTAAlways said:

NTA, and I'm a non-drinker. I have absolutely no issues with others drinking around me, my choice is not their choice. If you're spending that kind of money on what is essentially your vacation, you can absolute drink (responsibly, of course).

nutjolly said:

NTA. If he doesn’t want to drink he doesn’t drink. If he doesn’t want anyone to drink on the trip he should have said so before you booked it. End of story.

drstrangedeath said:

NTA. I'm shocked this would even be proposed for friends trip. People quit drinking all the time, and need to understand that one of the challenges of going sober is that you have to be prepared for people around you to drink.

Would this engaged couple go to their family's holiday gathering and expect everyone not to drink, to a company function? They can't dictate your behavior.

I have two kids as well and totally feel where you're coming from. Time away like this is rare and you deserve to enjoy it how you will. Personally, I'd definitely keep a lid on the drinking over this weekend, so you're not "that guy", but I'd 100% enjoy some spirits as an autonomous adult lol.

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