'AITA for telling my roommate she can’t bring her mom around anymore?'

"AITA for telling my roommate she can’t bring her mom around anymore?"

My (19f) roommate wants to let her mother (54f) sleep over in our shared room. For context, we are both sophomores in college. we’ve never had any issues before except for minor miscommunications and i’m honestly baffled.

She woke me up this morning and told me that her mother was going to come around in half an hour and help her clean up and take her out. I have no issue with her mother as at this point I've known her for three years, but I've never spoken to her for more than a few seconds when she comes to visit and it’s always just common pleasantries and then we part ways.

In total we have probably spent less than a half hour in the same room. Anyways, once they got back from their outing I was in our room doing homework and she asked me if it was okay if her mom slept in her bed with her tonight.

I was extremely confused, she has NEVER asked this before and while I like her mother I don’t want to sleep in the same room with her. So I asked her if she was asking if I would leave for the night so that she could have a girls night with her mom to which she refused and said she just wanted to know if her mom could stay over here tonight.

I pressed again and asked if she meant her mom would sleep here and she would sleep somewhere else or they would sleep in the bed together, and she said they would “most likely” just sleep together.

I told her this made me extremely uncomfortable and I don’t know her mom well enough to want to sleep in the same room with her to which she replied “well, we didn’t know each other before we roomed together and we still sleep in the same room," but am I wrong in thinking that’s a completely separate and unavoidable thing? Her mom absolutely does not have to sleep with us.

Now both her and her mother refuse to speak to me and are being extremely stand offish with me. Her mother even texted me and said that I was being extremely rude and that she should have a talk with me about being more polite and courteous with guests. I am just so confused and weirded out? Is this normal?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

moonhrafn said:

NTA - it is ABSOLUTELY BANANAS to ask to have someone sleep in a shared room - let alone with such little notice. no way. Not normal at all. Damn.

BeginningBit6645 said:

It is not normal for a woman that age to travel and not have a hotel room booked for an overnight stay.

wesmorgan1 said:

This is...extremely unusual. I've never heard of a parent wanting to sleep in their child's dorm room, in either my and my spouse's college days or my four kids' time in college. Her mother needs to stay elsewhere. NTA - you may need to talk with your dormitory advisors about this.

lalalalibrarian said:

Talk to your RA about it just so they know there's a little weirdness going on, in case your roommate starts pressuring you to move out or just makes you uncomfortable.

Accomplished_Gas473 said:

NTA, she’s an adult and should have a hotel room and if they wanted to sleep over then they could sleep there. It’s not a wild ask on your roommates part, personally I don’t care but you set a normal boundary and it should be respected not snarked at.

Grouchy_Librarian343 said:

This is weird. Her mom has a hotel room so sleep over there. And I doubt the RA would let you all have an adult stay over. Dorm rooms are tiny. What a weird thing to ask. Also was she going to get up to use the bathroom in the morning (ie shower).

If it’s anything like my college, we had separate shower areas and they weren’t connected to our dorm. I hope your roommate leaves you alone about it and tell your mom so she can message back and tell her to not contact her again with nonsense. NTA.