'AITA for telling my sister she can't play with my girlfriend's wigs?' 'She's still in high school.'

"AITA for telling my sister she can't play with my girlfriend's wigs?"

I, (26M) have been with my girlfriend who I'll call Maddy (also 26F) for five years now. I also have a sister who's still in high school (16). Whilst we have a huge age gap I love my sister. I'm afraid I spoiled her a bit growing up but yeah I'm her big bro, that’s pretty normal.

Anyway, Maddy found out in 2023 that she has alopecia universalis. Her hair started falling out pretty dramatically since she had long hair, and she was really embarrassed. I know some aholes care about the vain stuff like that but I don't, I’m not a saint just a normal guy, but I saw it embarrassed her so in the autumn we both buzzed our hair together.

Pretty soon after she started buying some normal and real hair wigs to test them out, and loved them. They are not cheap by any means but she feels confident with them so it doesn't matter to me. Maddy has met my sister, who I'll call Helena, a lot. She always wants Maddy to either take it off and show her head or give it to her.

She even tugged at it once (it's glued on so didn't budge) and was mad it didn't come off. I got mad but Maddy laughed it off, not wanting to cause a scene. We saved up and went away to this nice hotel on a Greek island, and got my sister to "flat-sit" when we were on holiday for some extra cash.

Half-way through the trip I got TikToks of my sisters and her friends in OUR ROOM wearing some of her wigs and lip-syncing some audio off of dance moms. I was pissed, admittedly first because they were in our locked room, but then because of the wigs. I saw they cut one of the very expensive blonde wigs into a short pixie.

I showed Maddy, she seemed shocked but brushed it off, saying it was fine and she'll get more. I texted her to stop, and if I catch her doing it again she'll pay for a new one. She "apologized," said they were just having fun but they'll stop.

Nothing else happened so we forgot about it until we got back. We reached our room, she opened the cupboard to where she keeps her wigs and they were haphazardly shoved in, cut, and some of them dyed. I was shocked. One of her wigs had been badly bleached, then dyed pink and was practically hay.

I was beyond pissed off. I was beyond furious. I immediately call her, and she doesn't answer, so I call our mom. I tell her what Helena did, chewing her out. Telling her she was disrespectful to Maddy and she needs to learn how to respect other people. Mom was shocked because she knows how expensive they are, but also said she's just a kid and doesn't know better.

Then offered to pay. I said I would only be satisfied if Helena payed Maddy back. She told me I was being dramatic and told me to 'cool down'. Maddy heard this and told me not to worry. It's just material and she was upset but knows my sister didn't mean it. I swear she's an angel.

That's the thing tho, she’s really smart, I wouldn't expect her to be so stupid, I wouldn't be surprised if she did this on purpose. Am I the ahole for wanting her to pay my girlfriend back?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

mearbearcate said:

NTA, why is your mom acting like your sister is 7 rather than 16 years old? A kid? She’s a TEENAGER in high school. She knows better than to break into her brother and girlfriend’s room and do that, especially when she’s aware that they are wigs your girlfriend needs and are expensive. It’s nice that your girlfriend was so nice about it, but that sucks and your anger is valid.

TheFilthyDIL said:

NTA. Sounds like there is a lot of jealousy on Helena's part. Maddy has stolen her big brother, AND she gets a cool new hairstyle and color every time she changes wigs! The incident where Helena tried to pull the wig off Maddy's head was very telling.

I don't believe for a moment that Helena didn't know some of those wigs were human hair, or how much they cost. The texture between real hair and acrylic is noticeable. OP didn't say which of the wigs were ruined, but at least one of them, the one that felt/looked like straw after they finished "playing" with it, almost certainly was.

What the hell is Mom going on about, that she "didn't know any better?" These girls were 16, not 6. It's not like she cut a doll's hair because the older girls told her it would grow back. They definitely did know better. Every one of them should pitch in to repay Maddy for the ruined wigs.

If Helena were my daughter, she wouldn't have time to get into that kind of vandalism again, because she'd be working after school and on weekends until the value of the ruined wigs was repaid!

IllustriousBowler259 said:

Your sister is 16, very much old enough to know what she was doing. Cut her off completely until she has repaid the damage. No birthday presents, no Christmas, no treats, no brotherly affection. Her behavior indicates something far worse than a little spoiling.

She broke into a locked room. She damaged property. She betrayed trust. This was no little thing. And she's shown no remorse. NTA. You and Maddy seem to be well suited, though.

KaliTheBlaze said:

NTA. Helena had been told multiple times that these wigs were expensive and not for her to play with. If she does not suffer real consequences for her continued, severe bad behavior, she will not learn better.

It is so much better that she learn that she can’t abuse and destroy other people’s property now with you guys, when it will just take hard work to pay you back and not result in criminal charges for destruction of property and a record that will follow her for life it could if she this to someone who isn’t family in the future.

CarbonationRequired said:

NTA and wtf. My 10yo would know not to do that to a good wig. (or even a bad wig if it belonged to someone else). Unless your mom thinks your sister is developmentally delayed she absolutely should know better.

That said, you can't parent your sister, only your mom can. Accept your mom's money so that your GF can get her stuff replaced. You can exert your own consequences on your sister by never letting her back into your home.

cydril said:

NTA, and you better get the money for those wigs from your mom and sister. Really nice custom wigs can be thousands of dollars.