Bride loses it when her sister secretly tie-dyes her wedding dress; 'I was just trying to help.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my sister I hope her husband cheats on her after she ruined my wedding dress?"
Whole_Challenge_9099
So, here’s the deal. I (29F) have been engaged for about a year, and I’m getting married in three months. Like many brides, my wedding dress is a big deal to me. I spent months picking it out, and it cost more than I care to admit. It’s a gorgeous custom-made gown that I was keeping at my mom’s house because I wanted to avoid any “accidents” at home (I have a dog that sheds like crazy).
My sister (34F) recently had some sort of “life-changing epiphany” and decided she’s done with fast fashion and wants to live a more “eco-conscious” lifestyle. Cool, right?
Except she’s taken it to a weird level, constantly shaming me and others about our choices, like buying new clothes instead of thrifted. She’s also become super into DIY projects—most of which end up looking like a Pinterest fail, but whatever, I wasn’t going to say anything.
Fast forward to last weekend, I stopped by my mom’s house to check on the dress and make sure everything was fine. When I opened the garment bag, my heart legit stopped. My sister, in all her DIY glory, had dyed my wedding dress.
Apparently, she thought the white was too “traditional and boring” and decided to “upcycle” it by dip-dyeing the bottom half in this hideous tie-dye rainbow pattern. HER WORDS: “I made it more fun and unique! You’ll stand out!”
I. LOST. IT.
I screamed at her, and she just stood there, acting like I was being overly dramatic. She kept saying she was “just trying to help” and that “it’s just a dress.” I told her she’s a selfish psycho and to never speak to me again.
Then, and this is where I might be the AH, I said, “I hope your husband gets so sick of your controlling, self-righteous BS that he cheats on you.” She started crying and called me a bunch of names, saying I crossed the line.
Now my mom is mad at me, saying my sister was “only trying to do something nice” and that I didn’t need to take it “that far.” She’s insisting I apologize for the cheating comment, but I feel like I was justified in saying it.
My fiancé thinks my sister is nuts, but even he raised an eyebrow at that last comment and said I might have gone too far. AITA for saying what I said, or is my sister just the worst?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Cguy203
Please sue her for the dress!
Timely_River7803
And since mom and whoever else think you took it too far have them help her pay you back for your dress.
maroongrad
Mom's homeowner's insurance might actually cover this if OP presses charges. Time to find out. Then the insurance can go after the sister.
Odd_Mud_8178
I am an insurance agent in the US. The typical H.O. Policy includes a coverage for “damage to others property” but only a $1,000 dollar limit. It’s possible to sue the mother’s policy for the liability coverage to recoup the costs of the dress. Because it was in her home.
aureliacoridoni
Former claims adjuster, “intentional acts” are specifically excluded in every policy I’ve ever seen. That said, it should absolutely come out of their pockets. This is a level of BS I can’t even grasp.
Whole_Challenge_9099 (OP)
I’ve thought about it, trust me! But the whole idea of taking my own sister to court just feels... messy, yk?Our family is already full of drama, and this would definitely make things worse.
That being said, if she doesn’t offer to pay for the damage soon, I might just go there. This dress wasn’t cheap, and her “help” cost me a fortune. At this point, with all the drama she’s already caused, I wouldn’t feel guilty about it at all.
Laila_Serenade
NTA! Your sister RUINED your wedding dress without asking! Total selfish move! You had every right to be furious! The comment about her husband was harsh but justified! No need to apologize she needs to learn about boundaries!
Whole_Challenge_9099 (OP)
Thank you! I’m glad someone sees how insane this whole thing is. Like, how does someone think it’s okay to mess with a wedding dress without asking? I get the comment was harsh, but honestly, in the moment, I wanted her to feel even a fraction of the pain I felt when I saw what she did.
She absolutely needs to learn that her “helpful” ideas aren’t always welcome, especially when it comes to something as important as this!
Fanwhip
NTA. That dress costs allot. She damaged/vandalized it. Sue her ass. NTA.
hokeypokey59
How could she possibly dye and dry and re-package a wedding dress without anyone knowing? Does your mom live in a soundproof room? I think mom knew about it or found out about it prior to your visit and is downplaying it to take the heat off of herself for allowing it. Uninvited both of them... from your life!
shammy_dammy
NTA. Ex sister. And your mom? No contact no invite.
Whole_Challenge_9099 (OP)
Honestly, I’m considering it. My sister clearly has zero respect for boundaries, and the fact that my mom is defending her like this is unbelievable. I’ve been trying to keep the peace, but at this point, I’m seriously thinking about going no contact with both of them. There’s no way I’m letting either of them ruin my wedding day after this disaster.
Good_Narwhal_420
ruining a custom made wedding gown is not “trying to do something nice”. your sister sounds crazy and your mom should stop enabling her. NTA.