"AITA for telling my sister she gets pregnant too much?"
Hi I (29F) have a sister...let's just call her grace (36F). Grace has always been the child my parents mostly favored of, she gets all the good stuff and I get her hand me downs. Grace dropped out of high school to become a mom at 19, as of now she has 4 kids...and she just announced a new kid is incoming.
When I graduated college, I started to earn small from an outsourcing company. Eventually I earned enough tenure that I am now a virtual assistant, and since the exchange of dollars is big in my country...I earn a lot of money. Borderline middle class to upper class, and when Grace and my parents found out about this, they started to depend on me financially...especially Grace.
It started from small things like clothes, money for bottles and milk, until it got to absurd requests like paying for the baby's Baptism, milestone photoshoots, birthday parties...and eventually their tuition for early level education.
Grace would treat me as an ATM and even have me pay the caregiver she hired, while she gossips and go out to the club. At first i just did it, because i earn a lot for myself...and still have some left for savings.
But recently I finally got a contract on a housing company here, it's a village townhouse a bit small but enough for someone like me who's gonna live alone. So I told grace that I'm not gonna give her money anymore, because I took out housing loan and it's gonna dent my salary for a while. She said "that's fine, at least you'll give us permanent housing. I can finally live on the city and find a job."
I told her that wasn't the case, and I'm gonna live there. She started shouting at me, calling me selfish. She said I had no regards for family and I'm just a money hungry b. So I told her, even if I'm a b at least I don't collect baby daddies like they're Pokémons. And that she keeps on getting pregnant from random guys, but she can't find the time to use her skills to secure a job.
She left the room sobbing and crying, and everyone in the family is mad at me...and my phone hasn't stopped ringing from distant relatives who wants to give me a lecture. So, did I go too far? AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
bepdhc said:
NTA. Tell the distant relatives that you appreciate them stepping up to serve as Grace’s ATM in her time of need.
BadHorror5086 said:
NTA. But please stop being a doormat and spend money on your. not supporting your family who use you without any respect.
Nsr444 said:
NTA. Cut her off (financially) live your life, retire early.
Comfort48 said:
NTA sounds like you told the truth. You may have to go no contact for awhile. If your sister cared about you she would’ve been happy for you, proud even. Congrats btw. Take a breath this might suck for a little while. If you stay strong and don’t give her any more money, I think you will find much more happiness. Good luck.
DaZMan44 said:
NTA. But seriously, WHY are you allowing your family to treat you as their personal ATM? That's messed up. Cut them off and let them fend for themselves. They're not your responsibility. Live YOUR life and spend YOUR money on YOU.
Rowan-The-Writer said:
NTA. Your sister was looking in a metaphorical mirror when she called you a money hungry b, she's projecting because she knows she's the money hungry b. She's an entitled and rude person. You should've never gave them any money as that made them dependent on you. Just cut them off, move to your new place, and enjoy your peace.