'AITA for telling my sister she isn’t the type of person I want my daughters to look up to?'
"AITA for telling my sister she isn’t the type of person I want my daughters to look up to?"
My sister and I are complete opposite. My sister doesn’t have many accomplishments and the last thing I remember her achieving is graduating high school.
At 20, she dropped out of college because she was pregnant. She moved in with the father and for 10 years they were a family. All that time she didn’t had a job even when her son started school.
Those two never married and he left her about two years ago. She is now pregnant again, (new dad isn’t involved) works at fast food and barely scraps by. She is constantly asking for money.
She actually wanted to move in with me and my kids. My wife travels a lot. I have two daughters and my sister told me she wanted to be closer. She wanted to move in to my home, that it would be good for the girls to have a women they could look up to (she never liked that my wife travels).
This isn’t the first time she has brought it up and I have turned her down politely many times. My sister brought it up again last night. I told her no. This resulted in a heated conversation with her asking why. I decided to be honest and I told her that she isn’t the type of women I want my kids to look up to.
I also listed the reasons above. She called me a jerk. The family is now on my a$s about this, saying I was heartless to tell her that. They also want me to apologize. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
violaflwrs said:
Ultimately NTA. You could be polite but still firm. If she’s insisting on moving in, something must be going on for her.
Prof_traveller said:
NTA- surprised no one’s acknowledging that she said your kids need someone to look up to when your wife is in the picture. She can’t disrespect your wife and expect for her feelings to be coddled.
You’ve said no before and she was pushing for a response. People need to be responsible for their life decisions, and you shouldn’t be on the hook to house her and take care of her kids.
Zarzunabas said:
NTA. Granted, you could have phrased it better, but you aren't required to respect her (poor) life choices, nor can anyone expect you to just agree with her moving into your home.
Intelligent_Read_697 said:
NTA and honestly by a mile as her life per your description is series of bad choices/decisions and her attitude towards your wife is telling which alone is reason enough for not having her move in…she’s obviously looking to dump her kids with you while she looks to move on to a new partner given the pattern of her behavior.
Anon20170114 said:
NTA. Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.
DorceeB said:
NTA - you were polite at first, the first couple times. She didn't get the message. She needed to hear this. Also, if those family members are on your ass about this, tell them to take your sister in.
Wackavellii said:
NTA, I have a daughter. I get it, the world is a scary place. Your sisters negative decisions shouldn’t fall back on you & your family. Does she have the firstborn as well? Yeah, her situation is sad & I absolutely wish her nothing but the very best, but you have your own to provide for...