'AITA for telling my sister to mind her own business unless she wants me to skip her wedding?'
"AITA for telling my sister to mind her own business unless she wants me to skip her wedding?"
My sister (27f) is getting married in a few months. She's been dating her fiancé for a little under 3 years now. While I (25f) have been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we're not engaged but we do live together. My sister started telling me I should get married once I turned 18.
She told me it's always so sweet when you can celebrate really huge marriage milestones together. My parents had heart attacks when she said that over dinner with my boyfriend who was also 18 at the time. They were so worried he'd listen to my sister and propose and I'd say yes.
They told her 18 is way too young to be married and so is 20 because she said she'd love to be married already. She said we'd made it 4 years and we seemed so in love so she couldn't understand why we'd "just date" and she said it like it was disgusting lmao. My parents had to be reassured a bunch of times we weren't getting married just because my sister thought we should.
Every few weeks or months she asks if I'm engaged yet, she'll tell me how I should be, she'll tell me I should break up with my boyfriend if he's not proposing. I told her I was happy with how things were. She would say I couldn't be. It got worse when she started dating her fiancé.
She became obsessed with me getting engaged and I started spending less time with her. But she would text randomly and ask if I was engaged yet. I finally decided to sit her down and say we didn't plan to marry in our 20s.
Or not until we're like 28/29 at the earliest and we're happy. She told me it was so unromantic to plan marriage in that way and I should expect him to surprise me with a really romantic and spontaneous proposal.
It got worse again when she got engaged and my boyfriend and I bought a house together. She got a lot meaner about it. Like how I'm being strung along and how stupid I am because look at her getting married within the first 3-ish years.
I lowered contact between us, but then she went to my boyfriend and tried pressuring him directly and trying to claim I was so upset he still hasn't proposed, etc. When he told me I was pissed and I told my sister to never do that again. She told me she was trying to help.
I told her to mind her own business unless she wants me to skip her wedding because right now her wedding is looking like one of the last things I want to attend. She told me I'm such a b for threatening her wedding over her help. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
FuzzyMom2005 said:
NTA. Frankly, I'd skip the wedding. I see a speech at the reception where she tries to shame your bf into proposing. That would embarrass her, not you, and it'll make everyone uncomfortable.
Peony-Pony said:
NTA Brace yourself, the worst is yet to come. One day, she's going to get baby fever and switch to let's get pregnant together and raise our children like siblings.
Brainjacker said:
Your sister's a lunatic. Tell her one final time that her "help" is unwelcome and if she wants a relationship with you she needs to understand that the door to engagement talk is closed, no matter how she feels about it. But probably you're going to need to go NC bc I'm betting she won't stop. NTA.
No-Gain-1087 said:
NTA but does anybody else think sister is obsessed with sister and boyfriend's relationship, it’s very odd and I can’t figure out why.
NotAFloorTank said:
NTA, and honestly, I'd skip the wedding and minimize contact. Change your numbers and all that jazz. Ignore her as much as possible. She'll either quit her act or have to deal with not being able to speak to you.
Crafty_Special_7052 said:
NTA. You and your boyfriend should block her and go NC. There is nothing wrong with waiting to get married. I mean I couldn’t ever imagine getting married at 18. I would want to be financially stabled first. And I’m sure at 18 neither you had jobs or if you did it was just minimum wage.