'AITA for telling my six-year-old nephew he is not special?' 'He is an only child.'
"AITA for telling my six-year-old nephew he is not special, after he told me he can do and get what he wants because everyone calls him special?"
For context he is the first and only grandchild so far, and probably will be the only grandchild unless my sister has more kids. Yes, he is an only child and everyone spoils him rotten. I don't have much engagement with them since I live in a different state.
I recently went to visit my family, one weekend was supposed to go with my sister and my nephew to indoor playground/arcade but something came up on her end so I offered to take my nephew since we did plan to make a day of it. She agreed, and overall it was a lot of fun. He was fine the entire day, did not fuss or anything.
My mom asked if I could pickup her order from Target, it was in the area so I said sure. Order was not ready so we killed time walking around. Apparently this was my grave mistake, I was unaware my sister gets him whatever he wants when he wants it. She does very well for herself.
He showed me, a Nerf gun he wanted, I commented and said that was cool. He did not ask for it anything, and he still had it in his hand. i did not think much of it in the moment since I did the same as a kid and when it was time I would leave at the counter.
Mom's order was done went to pick it up and he fully expected me to buy it. I told him I was not going to buy it and maybe he could ask his mom for it next time. I offered to take a picture of it so he could show her exactly what he wanted.
That is when he told me his mom would not mind, she always gets him what he wants because he is special and special people get whatever they want. In this context I kind get in hindsight from a kids POV no one really tells him no.
I told him I was not everyone else, and I had no intention of buying anything at the store. He doubled down started to fuss telling me I had to listen to him because he was the kid and he is special.
That is when I told him, he is no more special or unique to anyone else. He was still giving me a hard time, during that time my mom called. I picked up and she shouted. I would not buy him what he wants. My mom told me to stop being so cheap and buy it.
I was started to get embarrassed and very uncomfortable. I had no idea how to handle the situation so I bought it because we were making a scene, and I don't have much experience with kids. When we got home I explained the situation my mom and sister and they were not pleased.
My sister told me she does not believe in telling a child no. They also were mad I did not reaffirm that he is not special because he should be the most special person to me. He is a gift and such, my sister struggled to have kids.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Distinct-Session-799 said:
YTA because you caved. Your nephew is in for a world of trouble if your sister keeps living in her fairytale world.
Fun-Sun-8192 said:
NTA your sister and mom are Fing that kid up and there's gonna be a REAL problem when he wants some girl to like him and she doesn't feel that he's special.
AwayOwl8174 said:
YTA for caving and buying the spoiled brat the toy. Your sister is raising a “special” monster.
Dramatic-Knee-4842 said:
NTA. Your sister is also NOT a mother if that's her mentality. She may be a birthgiver, but she clearly has not made any attempt to actually parent the child. Make sure she knows that.
ClerkAnnual3442 said:
NTA. You had it right. So what happens when he’s a teenager on a date and won’t accept no for an answer?
weliketoruinjokes said:
YTA for giving in to the behavior, but a gentle one. You obviously panicked, were embarrassed, and just defused the situation as easily as you could - which is forgivable in that this is your first rodeo and it was an experience.
This has reaffirmed to the child that everyone exists to cater to his whim, and you took an opportunity to put a crack in the spoiled nature which turned into a confirmation that he is above all others.
Definitely a learning experience, and hopefully you see this: you were only trying to do what is best, and next time you have the opportunity it'll be easier knowing YOU WERE RIGHT and they were wrong.
sassybirb said:
NTA, but if I were you, I would not volunteer to babysit or hang out with your sister if the kid is there, that sort of behavior only gets worse.