'AITA for telling my stepkids that my kids will get my stuff?'

"AITA for telling my stepkids that my kids will get my stuff?"

Last weekend I was getting ready to make a photo book for my baby who's coming soon, and them being kids they wanted to help and look though their photo books. So we looked through a few and we found pictures from me and their dad's wedding and engagement.

My stepdaughter asked if I still had my dress, and I told her I did and she asked if she could have it for her wedding and I didn't get a chance to answer as she started going on about how she was going to look like me on her wedding day and just stuff like that.

She went on to looking through the book more and asked about my rings and I told her they were my great grandmas and we just made them more my style and just fixed them a little bit, she asked if when she was older could she have them for her wedding. I had softly explained that I would rather my bio daughter get first dibs of stuff and that their mom probably has family heirlooms.

That made them kinda sad, so when they went home I'm assuming they told their mom and that made her mad. She called us and told me that why should some new kid get something over her kids, and I explained to her that because I would rather any bio kid have dibs first and if my bio kids don't want it then its free game after that, and that she should have stuff to pass down to her kids.

She said she doesn't as she didn't have a wedding and her family didn't save stuff like that. I told her that I could no longer help her with that my bio kids would still get dibs. Everyone's mad expect my husband and we said we would talk to them but it's still like I feel bad, but I wouldn't want give them something that my bio kids might want because its actually connected to them and apart of their DNA. So AITA? (Girls are 13 and 11.)

Here's what people had to say to OP:

300sunshineydays said:

I don’t think you appreciate just how lucky you were to be asked.

Wild-Association1680 said:

YTA. She said she wanted to look like you on her wedding day. That's just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard, and you replied "I'd rather my biological daughter than you."

She's 11, so you could have kicked the can wayyy down the road and said "that's a really long time away, so we can talk about it when you're older." There's a 95% chance that your bio kid won't want to wear your wedding dress, anyway. And now your stepdaughter knows she'll always be second in your heart.

You need to do some damage control. Take her out for a special day just her, and give her something that's meaningful to you for her to keep. She is trying to be closer to you — let her.

Vivid_Motor_2341 said:

Wow way to ruin what the kid clearly thought was a great relationship.

generic2022 said:

I'm not sure if you're the ahole, but I'm pretty sure you're gonna hear "ask your real kids" when you're old and alone and looking for support.

Coquito_Lolita said:

You're a massive ah. You sound like you went out of your way to crush a child and make absolutely sure she knows she was little more than an accessory that came with the man you wanted. It's actually kinda sick when you think about it.