"AITA for telling my uncle 'fourth time's the charm?'"
On Sunday we were meeting at my uncle's for a kind of pre-Christmas meetup because one of my aunts had to leave today. I was with my dad and uncles in the yard. My dad asked my uncle how his plans for getting married were going.
So I should give some context here. My uncle's first marriage ended almost two decades ago. I have three cousins from that marriage whom I used to be close to but their mom got custody and we rarely see them.
Then around 8 years ago he got married to a woman overseas, brought her here, she already had a guy here, she called the cops on him for some made up thing, and when he came back from a night in jail, she'd left. This is what I've heard, I was in college and the marriage didn't even last one term for me to have come back home and met her.
It lasted a week I think. Then 3 years ago he got married overseas again and this time her parents changed her mind so they got divorced while there. Naturally I never met her either.
So when my dad said that, I looked at my uncle and asked him if he was really looking to get married again. He said yeah, that he thinks he needs a partner in life. I just without thinking said "fourth times the charm." My uncle didn't take it well while my other uncle found it hilarious. I'm pretty sure my dad did too but he was being diplomatic about it.
Today my mom told me that my uncle had told my dad it was really rude and disrespectful of me to say what I said. She said to just apologize to him when we see him on Christmas.
I said sure whatever I'll apologize, this uncle has always been a fun uncle who would hang out with us cousins so I thought he could take a joke but I'll apologize sure. But was I the ahole?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
LouisV25 said:
YTA because it was unnecessary to say. Nonetheless, I laughed out loud. Apologize cause that one hurt. Funny but it hurt someone you love.
YearlyDepression said:
YTA. I mean, I get why you said it, and everyone is thinking it, but it’s still a joke at your uncle’s expense. Apologize when you see him — clearly this is a sensitive subject for him.
SDBadKitty said:
YTA. It sounds to me like your uncle might be a lonely man and has been struggling to find someone who will genuinely love him. How awful that you are laughing at his expense.
JurassicParkFood said:
YTA - that's not a joke. That's being an ahole about his biggest failures in life. Be better
Mekroval said:
Soft YTA. You didn't mean it maliciously, but I could see why the uncle felt humiliated in front of the rest of the family. It sounds like he was the cool uncle, so I think some fence mending in the form of a sincere apology is good medicine.
Infinite-Cat-Peep said:
YTA, it was pretty hurtful. Pro tip: if something has been way out of whack in someone's life, don't be the person who starts teasing about it. Wait and see how that someone reacts to other people's comments.
In this case, your dad and he were having a serious conversation, and he was opening up, and you jumped in with a reminder of all the prior drama. It was not the time, and not the topic.