'AITA for telling my wife I don’t want her mom to have her location?'

"AITA for telling my wife I don’t want her mom to have her location?"

My wife shares her location with her family, and sometimes her friends. I really never thought much about it. I don’t share my location with her which she has never liked. I personally don’t like it, freaks me out to be tracked 24/7.

The issue was earlier this week. I needed surgery and I wanted to keep everything private. I didn’t even tell my own mom and dad. My wife agreed not to share with anyone either.

It was on Monday and everything went overall well until my wife’s mother showed up. She apparently noticed my wife was at the hospital and when she didn't pick up, came down.

She thought my wife was hurt. It became a big thing and basically everyone on my wife side was told that someone was in the hospital. My own mom and dad were contracted and I had to explain the situation. I hated this. It is clear to me that if my wife is tracked 24/7 than I am being tracked. I hate that this whole situation got out because people knowing my wife’s location.

My wife and I got into an argument and I don’t want her sharing her location anymore with her mother or family 24/7. She is calling me controlling and a d. I am point out it is invading my own privacy…and she needs to cut the string on her mom.

NOTE: since people have asked. Mom saw it on the app, then called my wife (who didn’t answer) and then about an hour later showed up at the hospital (right after I was done with surgery).

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Trishanamarandu said:

Weird that she thinks you're controlling, but not her family who apparently NEED to know where she is every minute. NTA.

fauxrain said:

NTA. Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I find the whole location tracking thing really invasive and I am flabbergasted that people don’t mind it. It’s not about having something to hide, it’s about respecting people‘s privacy and not wanting to have big brother watching you every second of the day.

lellyla said:

NTA. They are not sharing locations theoretically for safety, her mom actually checked her location without reason and invaded your privacy. This is not a safety measure, it's a spying and controlling device on her mom's part.

alexa-secrets said:

NTA at all. You explicitly wanted privacy for your surgery (even from your own parents) she agreed, but her mom's constant access meant she could track your wife straight to the hospital and spread the word.

You're asking for some boundaries that should stay personal. If she sees that as controlling, maybe explain how it'd feel if your location led her family to show up uninvited at her appointments.

pottersquash said:

NAH. Mom is the ahole. You and your wife are victims of her aholery. Don't try to win the mom war in one salvo, just doesn't work like that. But you can get a great victory if you point out just how unreasonable and absurd it was for her to not only show up but tell other people.

What if your wife was just with a co-worker? Why is your mom checking your location randomly? The mom wins if you let this become a wedge btw you and your wife. Thats what she wants. Question: did you get a phone call from Mom? Cause if Wife doesn't pick up, shouldn't the first call be to you if Mom thinks Wife is in hospital?

Outside_Holiday_9997 said:

Nta, but the issue isn't really the location sharing .its the almost stalker behavior of her mother. We have location sharing on for our family but its almost never looked at, and when it is...9 times out of 10 it's because we were all getting together to do something and someone is late. Someone would check to see how far out the person is.

At a minimum, your wife needs to turn off location sharing when you guys are doing something together. If her mother fusses then she needs to be told thats a consequence of showing up to the hospital and then blabbing to everyone.