'The office White Elephant gift exchange should not be mandatory.' UPDATED

"The office White Elephant gift exchange should not be mandatory."

I hate “white elephant” office gift exchanges. Every year, our team joins/competes with two other groups on our floor. Participation isn't mandatory, but there's a distinct message of "everyone is expected to be a part of this team-building exercise."

The combined group is large enough so anyone can add a gift anonymously. For the past few years, I have been secretly sabotaging the exchange in the hopes we’ll switch to “Secret Santa” so I can opt out. My petty revenge: every year, I contribute a “nice” gift obviously from me, along with one or two anonymously-given “bad” gifts.

Every year I get a little bolder and go a little farther. Here's what I’ve contributed for the past few years:

2021: I put a potato inside an iPhone box and shrink-wrapped it.

2022: A Bible from a used bookstore, a toy American flag, and a red MAGA hat I found in a parking lot. The next day HR sent an office-wide email about politics in the workplace.

2023: Toy handcuffs, a cheap eye mask, and a cat toy I modified to look like a riding crop. The next day HR sent another office-wide email.

2024: A bottle of Robitussin, a bottle of Night Train, and a copy of the National Enquirer.

Our white elephant exchange is next week. I’m thinking about giving a carton of cigarettes and a set of fake eyelashes.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

lakas76 wrote:

I happen to like white elephant gift exchanges because they are usually fun when there are lots of cool gifts. What really sucks is when someone spends 5 dollars on a 25 dollar gift exchange and then takes home a nice gift.

We had one guy who brought one of those Chinatown back masssagers for like 4 dollars and a Persian fire book that I saw in the Barnes and noble clearance aisle for 5. Everyone knew it was him too. Lol, for a potluck he brought some hot dog buns…no one even brought hot dogs.

ETA: Where I worked, it was not mandatory. Maybe 50% of the people participated. So, if you spend 5 bucks on a voluntary white elephant when everyone else is spending 25, you are TA.

DRUMS11 wrote:

Contribute a blank thumb drive, removed from any retail packaging and preferably lightly scuffed to make it look "used." Bonus points if it's in a little box nestled in foam with an appropriately thumb-drive-shaped cutout, just to make it look special. I'm not sure if a little "CONFIDENTIAL" sticker is perfect or a step too far to be plausible.

Ha-Funny-Boy wrote:

I once gave a box with a "game" called "Potty Pot Shots". There were paper ships that you tossed into a toilet bowl and then tried to "sink" them as you pissed.

It was a church group and it was not well received. LOL!

Geeko22 wrote:

We used to have a fun one every year where the rule was you couldn't buy anything new, you could only give used things from your closet, garage, attic etc. The more useless the more laughs it got. My best contribution was a thrift shop book 'How To Set Up And Run A Business In Arkansas'. It was voted the most useless gift that year haha.

Pumpkin_spic_latte wrote:

The company I used to work at had a holiday party where you signed up if you wanted to go but had to participate in the white elephant gift exchange. Everyone relatively got along, although it was a mixture of all levels of employees (hourly laborers, office staff, etc.)

So it was easy to pick a gift out to give away, but fun if you wanted to give away some random crap. My finest moment was giving a half eaten box of chocolates with developed pictures of me eating the other half.

ChickinSammich wrote:

I'm reminded of the one year I decided "you know what, I'll participate in the white elephant thing this year" and the thing I contributed was a small board game (I don't recall which one).

And then I saw what gifts everyone else had contributed: a bottle of wine, a bottle of wine, a bottle of wine, a bottle of wine, a bottle of wine, a bottle of wine, and a bottle of wine. Clearly there was some pre-established understanding that I was not made privy to. And as a result, my board game kept getting swapped because no one wanted it. Never did it again.

morkler wrote:

Being made to participate in something is not team building. And if you opt out you are looked down upon. It's a catch-22. I'm glad you are making the most of it. I personally hate any team building type exercise. At least any I've been part of.

I don't need that shit to make or motivate me to be a better "teammate". If anything it makes me resentful. We are all different and those of us that are more introverted don't respond well to crap like that. All I want is to show up do a good job, get along with others and go home. Nothing more.

GoldberryoTulgeyWood wrote:

One year I was trying to sabotage and gave a can of spam, a book of limericks, and some old Ferrero Rocher. That was the one everyone fought over. Sometimes it makes no sense.

Three weeks later, OP shared an update.

Every year, my company has a "white elephant" gift exchange. Participation isn't mandatory, but the message is clear: the exchange is a team-building exercise and everyone is expected to participate.

Well, I hate office gift exchanges and mandatory team-building exercises. For the past several years I’ve been quietly sabotaging the gift exchange with “bad” gifts. To deflect suspicion, I always give a “nice” gift. This year, I gave a $25 gift certificate to the local coffee house.

My roommate and I have been calling the project “Santa, or Satan?” For my “bad” gift, I found a used DVD at a thrift store and I immediately knew what I had to do. I then went to a market and got the other part of the gift. I wrapped up everything, and slipped my gifts into the pile a few hours before the party.

The gift exchange was boring and unremarkable: a cookbook, a stainless-steel travel mug, and a lot of gift cards. Then someone opened another “bad” gift: a coffee mug with our competitor’s logo on it! The competitor’s mug got a lot of laughs and I was a little jealous I hadn’t thought of it. But then someone opened the “bad” gift I submitted for Holiday Party 2025:

A DVD of Babe and a jar of pickled pigs’ feet.

Reactions were mixed. Many people laughed, others were disgusted. Surprisingly, HR did not send any emails, so I congratulated myself on a job well done until next year.

Here's what people had to say in response to OP's update:

AggravatingBid8255 wrote:

This was very well written. I like how you made sure to bury the lede so you could build some "oh gawd, what DVD?" suspense before your big reveal. Nicely done. And a very clever gift, too. You said you hate white elephants, but I think you've grown to love it- even if only for the opportunity to menace anonymously at the end of each year 😈

maroongrad wrote:

Best bad gift we ever did was a gallon can of liquid peanut butter. Yes, you read that right.

MsSamm wrote:

My dad would have liked both and would have eaten the pickled pig's feet and watched Babe unironically. His mother made pig's feet. And he really likes animals.

Super_Newspaper_5534 wrote:

I have to go to a white elephant this weekend and I wish I could do this. Someone got mad a couple of years ago when I brought a gift pack of poo-pourrie and a pack of toilet paper.