'AITA for thinking this bachelorette trip is TOO MUCH?' 'I am in culture shock.'

"AITA for thinking this bachelorette trip is too much?"

I (F27) am one of two maids of honor in one of my best friend's wedding. This is my first wedding. My friend Sarah and the rest of us will be going to South Carolina (we are from Jersey) for the bachelorette. In total with the plane tickets, hotel and activities me and the other MOH have spent about $1,300 individually.

On top of the price, she was complaining a few weeks ago that me and the other MOH have not been "checking in" on her feelings about the wedding. She explained that she is feeling extremely stressed out with planning the honeymoon the wedding and everything else and feels we haven't been checking in to make sure she is okay.

I had no idea that she was stressed out she never communicated this and when I asked her to hang out recently she is busy. I feel like it is starting to affect our friendship. She is expecting a lot out of us and when I try to talk to her about the cost of everything she basically told me to find little ways to save the next few months.

This sounded asinine to me because I shouldn't have to go into debt to go on a bachelorette trip. I am a young professional I just graduated grad school a year ago, so I don't have a lot saved and she knows this. However she is demanding a lot of stuff.

She is also requesting that me and the other MOH make an itinerary for each day of the trip. She says she wants the itinerary to be a surprise so she does not want to know what's on it but she wants us to have every hour of the trip planned out.

She also mandated me and the other MOH read a book series so we can theme the bachelorette trip on the series. Like girl I work lol I don't have time to do this. Yesterday she came to me and told me that she wants to book a 6:45 AM flight. I work the day before we go on the trip.

I work about 10 hours that day into the evening so I can't go to bed early that day. That means I would be up all night and have to be at the airport for about 4 AM. I told her I would not be doing this I would be taking a later flight than she is not happy about that. AITA? I mean I feel like I'm paying so much money for this trip out of my own account I should be at least able to take the flight I want.

Is this normal? This is my first wedding so I am not sure if this is what people do usually - I am an ummarried, lesbian. Most of my friends are gay and don't care for the whole marriage thing so idk what's normal. I am in culture shock lol. It just feels over the top.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

ngroat said:

You ever heard of a bridezilla? thats what you're dealing with? NTA.

Wakemeup3000 said:

NTA. Bride is under the impression that her wedding is the most important thing in your life. Too much money and time to deal with this bride. Stand your ground and push back on this sort of thing because the more you do and more she'll complain and expect you to do.

SaltybutAdorable said:

NTA — it’s completely reasonable to feel overwhelmed when someone expects you to spend over $1,300, plan a fully themed itinerary, read a book series, and take a 6:45 AM flight after a 10-hour shift—all for their celebration; weddings are important, but your time, money, and boundaries matter too.

SoImaRedditUserNow said:

Seems a bit much to me. I'm trying to think what I would do if my best friend forced me to spend $1,300 bucks on a trip, demanded a themed trip based on a book series (what even is that), and plan a daily hour by hour itinerary for this themed trip.

Granted, this is where I and the other groomsmen would have talked to our friend and asked WTF dude? Stress is understandable and everything, but to a point where a person has become irrational they sometimes need a verbal rolled up newspaper to the nose. Feels like you should have done the same a while ago. NTA.

Pencil161 said:

This is normal for Buzzfeed but not in the actual world. Set and stick to your boundaries. No debt, no sleeplessness, no major disruptions to your life. If you can, talk to the other MoH so the two of you can be a united front. The bride will either have to adjust her expectations or get new bridesmaids who have buckets of money and no self-worth. NTA.

Lonestarlady_66 said:

NTA, this is absolutely NOT normal unless you have a bridezilla which you clearly have. This is just ridiculous for her to be demanding you guys do this and shell out all this money for HER.

Make no mistake this is all about HER & if you cross her on any part of this she will never forgive you. It has nothing to do with your friendship at all it's all about her.

Quirky_Engineer9504 said:

You are NTA. It is not normal...but there are people that go crazy on those situations. I personally don't keep people like that in my life.