'AITA for thinking my husband doesn’t want more kids because of our 'golden child?''

"AITA for thinking my husband doesn’t want more kids because of our 'golden child?'"

My husband and I have been married for five years, and we have a 3-year-old son. I’ve recently been wanting another baby because I want our son to have a sibling to grow up with. But my husband has completely shut down the idea of having more kids.

Here’s the part I’m struggling with: in both of our families, no one else in our generation has had a boy. Everyone who’s had kids so far has girls—sometimes two or three. We’re the only ones who had a boy first, and sometimes it feels like my husband likes that a little too much.

I don’t think he feels targeted or judged. Honestly, I think he feels superior for being “the one who had a boy on the first try,” and that now that he has what he wanted, he doesn’t feel any urgency or desire to have more children. And I can’t help but wonder—if our first had been a girl, would he be pushing for another baby instead of refusing?

When I try to talk to him about it he blows up at me and acts like I have no reason to think the way I do. But when I bring this specific point up he smiles at me and shrugs it off. I can’t help but feel like I have ground to stand on and I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy.

I’m trying to figure out if I’m reading too much into this, or if there’s something real behind how he’s acting. Am I wrong for thinking he’s only done having kids because he got the son he wanted?

Note: husband has an older sister and I have a younger brother. Husband is also the only boys. I didn’t just pull this out of thin air, I promise. Some of the things that lead me to believe this are he does brag about having a boy.

When we had family pictures, he was so insistent about “the boys” having a picture together knowing that everyone else would be left out. He finds a way to mention how our son is “the last [lastname]” in any situation you could imagine. He had monogrammed belt buckles made for him, my son and his dad, but told me we didn’t need to buy for our nieces.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

PacmanPillow said:

Ma’am, if you actually believe this about your husband, why would you considering having a second child with him?

bythebrook88 saiD:

If you think your son is the golden child, then WHY would you want to bring another child into the family who WON'T be the golden child? You would be setting them up for a lifetime of pain, just so you could have two children? Please, think of the children!

Ok_Homework_7621 said:

So why do you want another child with him? And why would you want to bring in a child to always feel inferior to the First Son? Your husband sucks, but you wouldn't be better if you put another child in that situation knowing what it's going to be like for them.

IngraciousMeltdown said:

YTA. Why would you want a second if you actually think this is true? Why would you subject a girl to being unwanted and resented? Solely because you want the first one to “have a sibling to grow up with?” That’s not a reason to have more kids. JFC. Additionally, this is reaching, and he doesn’t need to customize anything for his nieces; they’re not his.

labellavita1985 said:

He's allowed to not want more kids.

rosegoldblonde said:

Soft YTA. while I understand the frustration with him changing his mind I do think that if you’ve got no actual proof of the “golden child” theory pushing it is really unfair. Also having one child might have made him realize he can’t handle another. If you’ve got a happy marriage and happy family personally I would try to be satisfied with that.