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'AITA for threatening legal action against my family for stealing the ONLY inheritance I have?' UPDATED

'AITA for threatening legal action against my family for stealing the ONLY inheritance I have?' UPDATED

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"AITA for threatening legal action against my mom, brother, and future sister-in-law for stealing the ONLY inheritance I have from my grandmother?"

This past Christmas, I saw on social media that my brother proposed to my future SIL, who we'll call Amy. I was initially happy for them until I saw the ring, which Amy posted photos of.

I immediately recognized it as my grandmother's engagement ring, and phoned my mom to ask if she had given my brother the ring as a placeholder. She brushed me off, saying that no, she gave him the ring on purpose because I hate Christmas and Amy LOVES it.

Context: I had always been closer to my paternal side of the family (especially my grandma). My grandmother passed away last year, and the only inheritance I got is her engagement ring. I was not meant to receive this ring until I'm 30.

My grandmother LOVED Christmas, and it showed in her engagement ring (it's an emerald cut diamond with tiny circle rubies and oval emeralds to look like holly). Also, I didn't always hate Christmas.

Two years back, I lost my BF of ten years, my childhood BFF, and my sorority sister in a car accident coming home from a Christmas party that we all intended. I have been in therapy, struggling with survivor's guilt, but am doing better now.

I told my mom that the ring technically was meant to be mine and that she couldn't take it. She told me that she had a box of my grandmother's jewelry and I could just pick something else. I was stewing for a few days before contacting my paternal uncle, who is the executor.

He was furious and told me that my mom had said she was going to give me the ring as a Christmas gift. He then said he could be in touch with a lawyer if I wanted to press charges. We talked for a bit more before hanging up.

Armed with this information, I texted my mom, brother, and future SIL, saying that I had been in touch with my uncle and that I would press charges if the ring was not returned to either me or my uncle.

My brother tried to say he really wanted to use the ring, that since I hated Christmas that I didn't deserve it. I let them text me, using their threats as future evidence. I told them they had a week to return the ring or I'd follow through with the police.

Now, my mother's side of the family, as well as my other siblings, are hounding me. They all think I'm blowing things up. I'm not, I know I'm not, but with how everybody is acting I feel like I'm going crazy. AITA for threatening legal action against my mom, brother, and SIL for stealing my ONLY inheritance?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Writing_Dreams_2 said:

NTA, that’s YOUR ring! Your mom, bro, and SIL have NO claim to it! File that report!

One-Low1033 said:

NTA. Your mother is, as well as your brother and future SIL. Give them a very specific deadline and be very specific that if it's not met, you will file a report with the police.

dalealace said:

NTA. Your mom knew it’s wrong. And the fact that you don’t like Christmas is completely irrelevant in their arguments! You don’t deserve anything because you hate Christmas? Terrible logic.

You don’t deserve your own inheritance because you don’t like Christmas? Flimsiest logic ever. Your mom lying and saying it was supposed to be a a gift to you sealed the deal. Your mom and bro were shady and uncle should put them on blast.

wlfwrtr said:

NTA. You didn't always hate Christmas. The ring might help bring the joy back to you. Each time you looked at it you'd remember a happier time with grandma. Grandma would love it if her ring brought back even a little of the joy for the holiday she loved so much.

Do whatever you have to but get it back! You deserve it. Screenshot the messages from them as soon as they come in, even before reading, in case they delete them.

Short-Negotiation-75 said:

NTA, they stole an item that holds sentimental value and actual money value. Take that action that was given to YOU they had no claim over it

Serious_Pipe5344 said:

You've tried to resolve it and it's fair to set boundaries if they don't return what belongs to you. You can file a report.

Unhappy-Arugula said:

NTA!! This is theft. Plain and simple. Even if the ring wasn’t sentimental, it is yours and they have stolen it. I’m so glad that you have your paternal uncle to support you!

UPDATE:

Hey y'all! Before we get into the update, there are a few points I want to make clear that have been brought up from my last point. First, my mom and paternal grandmother were on good terms before her passing.

They weren't besties by any means, but they were kind to each other, hence why my mother got a box of her jewelry (which mostly consists of broaches, but does offer a few of her better pieces like her locket and a charm bracelet).

Second, my father passed of a heart condition the year I graduated middle school, which is why he's not dealing with my mom. Since his death, my paternal family has really tried to bridge the gap he left, hence why I'm so close with them. And finally, YES, I understand my username may lead to the conclusion that this is fake.

But, I do write fanfiction, this is just a second account since all my siblings know my main. But, maybe I'll start posting stories in the stories sub Reddit and use this as my writing account. Who knows lol.

NOW! Time for the update! The day after I posted, Amy (future SIL) texted me privately and asked me to meet up with her in secret. We organized a meeting for the next day at one of the local diners to grab lunch and talk. Meeting her was weird, since I didn't know how she would gauge the situation.

Amy has never been mean spirited, just blunt (not the rude kind of blunt either, she just a woman of a few words kind of deal). A few of the comments said she was the AH for accepting it, but the fact is she hasn't been in the family long enough to know about my connection to the ring. She had only met my grandmother once or twice before my grandmother got sick.

Once we sat down, she told me to tell her about my grandmother. Which, I initially thought was weird, but I got to telling her some childhood stories about my grandmother. How I would help her pick tomatoes from her garden to make fresh sauce, how we used to go on her porch and just watch the sunset, how during Christmas mass she always held my hand walking up/down the large steps (since the crowds would often lead to me being separated).

Long story short, Amy seemed reminiscent about the situation before she immediately apologized. She hadn't known about the ring, just that it was a "family ring" and that it meant she was one of us now.

When she had seen the text, she confronted my brother, who brushed it off as "OP is just being dramatic, it's not like it's the only piece she has" (which is true, I actually do have my grandmother's pearl earrings and her pearl necklace, but that was a sweet sixteen gift, not inheritance).

That got Amy mad and she went to stay with her family. She apparently had been in my shoes before, having been robbed by her older relatives regarding her own grandmother's inheritance. She returned the ring and said she plans to break off the engagement, I told her to really think about that.

She then smiled and said that she couldn't be a part of a family that was so backhanded and cruel. We talked for a bit more and left on good terms (my brother really dropped the ball, she was a good one).

Yesterday, my mom called me and told me I had "gone too far" and now Amy doesn't want to be a part of the family. I asked her what she expected when Amy was a good hearted person who probably wouldn't want to marry into a family of liars and thieves. She said my brother was distraught when he came home and found she had left with her things.

I told her maybe if they didn't try to take my ring, then maybe Amy wouldn't look at them like they were bad people and maybe she'd want to still marry my brother. My mom called me a slew of names before hanging up.

I asked my uncle that, now that I have the ring, could I just keep it. My uncle said that was fine, since he knew I had a safe that I could keep it in (it's a fancy, fingerprint one where I keep my registered firearm and legal documents). He just made sure to document me receiving the ring so that this way he didn't go nutty trying to find it for my 30th birthday.

I now wear it on my middle finger (since it's a little too big for my ring finger). I went on a date with my "new" (we've been dating 9/10 months) partner this morning, and they loved it. I plan to post a photo of us tonight or tomorrow, see how much I can stir the pot.

Thanks to all who supported me, I knew I wasn't crazy! I've been the least favorite kid for years and I've just gotten used to having to share or give up things. But, my grandmother's ring was my hill to die on, and depending on how their behavior is, I may go NC (am currently LC due to this drama).

Here's what top commenters had to say about the update:

saintandvillian said:

What Amy didn't say, but I will, is who in their right mind would marry a man who treats his sister like this or want a MIL who treats their own daughter like this? If this is how they treat OP just imagine how they'd treat Amy after the wedding.

Writing_Dreams_2 said:

OH I've been checking EVERY DAY with hopes for an update! Good for you OP! Glad Amy wasn’t like most other future in laws and had some moral standards! Also, I write fan fiction too! Maybe we can trade stories sometime! I’d love to read your work! :)

Prior-Tip-9713 said:

I am so happy for you. What a good person Amy is. She matched your energy. The world needs more Amy's!

_The_KoJo_ said:

GOOD FOR AMY! I'm so glad things worked out for BOTH of you. You both deserve good things and NOT to be manipulated, cheated or lied to.

Contribution4afriend said:

Amy is amazing. It's not just a kind heart but someone that saw the red flags. OP's brother and mom would definitely force Amy to birth lots of kids right away to prove a point. This ended well.

mortimer_manchesterm said:

You've navigated a tough situation with clarity. Keep Amy close; she’s proven to be the supportive ally you need. Your family? Good riddance.

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