'AITA for threatening to sue my sister after her toddler destroyed my $2,000 gaming setup?' + 3 UPDATES

"AIO for threatening to take my sister to court after her toddler destroyed my $2,000 gaming setup because she said I should’ve 'baby-proofed my apartment'?"

I’m F25 and I’m honestly at my breaking point with this one. I need outside perspective because my entire family is acting like I’m Hitler for standing my ground.

So, I (25F) am a student software developer and a pretty serious PC gamer in my free time. I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment that I’ve spent years making cozy and functional. I saved up for a long time to build my dream PC setup … triple monitors, custom mechanical keyboard, ergonomic chair, the works. Altogether, my rig is worth a bit over $2,000, and I take care of it like it’s a damn child.

Last weekend, my older sister (30F) asked if she could crash at my place for one night because her apartment was being fumigated, and her husband was out of town. She has a 3-year-old son, Max, who’s… let’s say “spirited.” I love him, but he’s a little chaos goblin. I hesitated, but she swore she’d keep an eye on him and that it’d just be for one night.

They show up Saturday afternoon, and immediately it’s clear she wasn’t kidding about Max being a handful. Within ten minutes of arriving, he’d pulled four books off my shelf, thrown my houseplants on the floor, and spilled juice on my area rug. I tried to stay chill, he’s three, I get it … but I asked my sister politely to please keep him out of my office, where my PC setup is.

She rolls her eyes and goes, “He’s just exploring, he’s curious, it’s normal.” But she closes the office door anyway. Cut to Sunday morning. I wake up to screaming. Max had apparently woken up before his mom, managed to open the office door, and decided my setup was his new jungle gym.

He pulled down one of my monitors, cracking the screen. He stuck crackers into the PC tower’s ventilation slots (I’m not kidding), yanked out my keyboard’s keycaps, and had colored on my chair with permanent marker. The cherry on top? He poured apple juice INTO the tower. INTO IT.

When I tell you I went silent… I mean dead silent. My sister comes in, sees the damage, and just says, “Oh nooo,” in this incredibly flat tone, like someone knocked over a cup of coffee. I start freaking out, and she has the AUDACITY to say, “You should’ve baby-proofed the room if it was that important to you.”

I lost it. I told her that 1) she KNEW he wasn’t supposed to be in there, 2) this is my space, not a damn daycare, and 3) baby-proofing a $2,000 gaming setup is not a standard requirement for adults living alone.

She told me to “calm down” and said that “he’s just a kid, and stuff is replaceable.” I told her she could replace it then. She said she didn’t have the money right now, but maybe in a few months she could give me a few hundred. I told her that wasn’t acceptable and that she needed to take full responsibility.

She left in a huff and now my whole family is blowing up my phone. My mom says I’m being “materialistic” and should understand that my nephew didn’t mean it. My dad said I should’ve “locked the door” if it was that important. My brother actually said, “Why do you even need three monitors anyway? That’s kind of overkill.”

I’ve filed a claim with my insurance but there’s no guarantee it’ll be covered since it was technically “guest damage.” I also told her that if she does not pay up, I'll take her to court for what happened.

Now I’m getting texts from my sister demanding an apology for “blaming her kid for being curious.” I told her I’d drop it if she covered the cost of repairs and replacements … or at least met me halfway … and she BLOCKED me. So… Am I overreacting if I take my sister to court over this?

What do you think? AITA? Is she overreacting? This is what commenters had to say:

xxImAFknUnicornxx said:

Your sister is a disrespectful, lazy ass mother. I have 4 boys and NOT ONCE did I ever sleep through my fkn kids waking up. They slept with me, so I knew when they moved.... Im assuming she slept with Max that night?

She obviously has no respect or manners. The immediate polite and RIGHT answer to her son fkg up your shit should have been - Omg, I am so unbelievably sorry, I promise I will pay for any damage.

The fact your family is siding with her disrespect is beyond me. I have stayed at my sisters place with my kids when they were Max's age and honestly barely slept bc I was worried about the kids the whole time. She should have been the fk up with her HER KID. Bullshit.

Now, I will say, I do side with your dad saying the door should have been locked - BUT, you aren't a parent already so you wouldn't have thought about that lol. Those kind of thoughts really only come when you already have a kid lol. NTA.

ljg5452 said:

I don't think so... if she knew her son was such a terror, she should have brought some of her own baby proof stuff as a freaking courtesy to you. Like, hey sis, thanks so much for letting me crash here over night while my place is fumigated, I brought some baby proof door handle covers and some cabinet locks because I don't want him to wreck your place and I know you don't have any of this stuff of your own.

You helped her and she didn't think to help you, even a little bit. I'd be furious about the little stuff, but that's $2k of damage. Like, take him to play outside until he is tired out, give him a baby melatonin so he sleeps deeply, something.

Ill-Control6388 said:

Babies explore in unfamiliar space but that doesn't mean you let them destroy everything in front of them. I can guarantee you that your sister would not be so nonchalant if someone else's baby was doing that at her place.

Your nephew broke your stuff so now the mom has got to pay for it. I would say it would have been smart to lock any door/s that you didn't want the baby to get access to. Especially given how he was the first couple of days. NTA.

Gingerleaflounge said:

You’re not overreacting but it isn’t going to end well. I guess you have to decide if you want to be estranged from your sister and family. She is clearly a shitty parent. I have two kids and even as toddlers they never would have been that destructive. The spilling juice and pulling books off the shelf is normal sauce but the other stuff is beyond. I would count it as a very expensive lesson and not allow her over again.

She later shared a series of updates. First update:

Wow. Just wow. Four hours later, I wake up from my nap to this. Thank you guys, it'll take a bit for me to read all of this. My sister still has not unblocked me, but her husband reached out to find out what happened. I'm sorry I don't have more to tell yet, but I'll update again when I do. Seriously, thanks for the insights everyone. My head is a lot clearer now ❤️

Second update:

Hey all. My sister’s husband reached out as mentioned earlier, and we’re working out a solution if possible. He’s been really understanding as have all of you. Also, to clarify the office situation: my one-bedroom apartment is on the smaller side (33m2/355sq ft?), so the landlord converted an old ex-clothes cabinet into a makeshift ’office.’

It’s weird, but the building is from the 40s, and ig they had to get creative with the space with an old tenant or something. So its living room (sister and her kid slept there) + kitchen (i slept there) + the ’office.’

Then five days later, she shared this longer, final update:

Hey again. Just wanted to post a quick update since it’s been a little under a week and a few people asked what happened next. Things are better, pretty weird, and still ongoing, but here’s where we're at.

Last Saturday, my brother-in-law (BIL) came over to check out the damage himself. He actually brought Max (toddler) with him, which I was almost livid about at first, but he had a reason. He asked Max to try opening the office/closet door. The kid couldn’t do it. The door was too heavy for him. You probably can guess where this is going. :=)

BIL offered to take my PC to the store that originally built it for me, just to see what was fixable. I agreed, but asked for something in writing just so I had some peace of mind. We put together a little agreement that he’d be responsible for it while it was with him. Yeah, yeah, it was just a formality and would not hold much merit anywhere, but it helped me feel a bit more in control.

On Monday, he dropped it off at the shop and gave them my number so they could keep me updated. He also told me he confronted my sister about how things played out. I sent him my original Reddit post too, he read the comments and apparently showed them to her. She still hasn’t unblocked me, and from what I’ve heard, was not happy about the fact my BIL is actually listening to me.

I also shared the post and some comments with my parents and brother since no one really believed me before. My parents still don’t fully get it, but they’ve at least stopped pushing back. My brother is more understanding now, though for some reason he mostly wanted to talk about how many people saw the post. I don't think either of those three still care, really, and I'm fine if they see this. Do better.

Anyway, I went to see the PC today (wednesday here). The shop said it’s mostly salvageable. It needs a very very careful internal clean and a few fans replaced, and some wiring fixed, but overall the main parts survived somehow. BIL told me he’ll cover the cost of the repair, no hesitation.

When I brought up what my sister said about not being able to pay even $200, he said she’s lying. He also said he’s not sure Max actually did all the damage. He thinks the door was left open on purpose, or that my sister might have even done some of it herself. Based on the height of the tower and where the crackers ended up, it didn’t quite add up to a toddler acting alone.

Apparently, she’s been telling him I have a “gambling addiction” (I did get a bit hooked on Genshin like 4 years ago I guess?) and that maybe this whole thing will “wake me up,” which is… new. She used to be supportive or at least indifferent. No idea where that switch came from.

So yeah. That’s where we’re at:

1.) My PC is being cleaned up and fixed, and BIL is covering the cost.

2.) Sister still has me blocked and won’t talk to me. Still tempted to start something with her tbh, especially if she actually did all of this on purpose.

3.) Still not ruling out small claims court depending on how things go.

Thanks again to everyone who responded to the original post. Seeing how many people understood what happened really helped me hold the line with my family when I felt like I was losing my mind. One thing I’ve been turning over in my head lately is what if my sister did do something to my setup on purpose?

I don’t want to believe that, it feels like a stretch, but the more I think about it, the less so, I guess...? But then I remember how she acted when I asked her to keep Max out of the office. The eye-roll and the "he's just curious" comments like she didn’t take any of it seriously...??? And now hearing from my BIL that she’s been saying I have a “crippling gambling/gaming/whatever addiction” and needed to “grow up”????

It’s just… weird. She used to be cool about it. Never super into games herself, but she got that it was important to me. If something changed, I don’t know when or why. And if this was some weird way to make a point or “teach me a lesson”… that’s messed up. You're not our mom.

How about talking first instead of this? I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the more I think about it, the less it makes sense that Max could’ve done all of that alone. It's sick if she blamed her own son for it. So yeah. Not accusing anyone outright, but that thought is there now.

And if you're my sister reading this… Which I'm guessing you are, because I bet you'd love to look at the comments that are on your side a lot. :))) I don’t know why you blocked me. I don’t know what shifted in your head about all this.

But if you actually had anything to do with damaging my setup whether it was on purpose or just through complete carelessness... Eff. You. You know I worked hard for that. You know what that rig meant to me, and you know I would never do something like this to your stuff.

And if Max really did all of it on his own… I hope you’re paying closer attention now. Not for my sake, but for his. Read the comments on my first post again, from other parents and people with younger siblings who CLEARLY know better than you. That's all. Thanks for reading, those who did.