'AITA for throwing away my husband's dinner while he was in the middle of eating it?' UPDATED

"AITA for throwing away my husband's dinner while he was in the middle of eating it?"

My husband (26m) and I (26f) have always shared responsibilities in the kitchen. He cooks dinner about 60% of the time and me 30% but I love to bake more, and he doesn’t mind doing the cooking. I made dinner tonight, it was just a simple quick chicken parm and then I reheated some left over rice and green beans.

I know that is not the typical way you serve chicken parm but we needed to eat the rice and green beans otherwise they would go bad so I just served those with that. When he came to the kitchen he said “oh (laughed) I thought you going to make a pasta go with this” I told him the beans and rice would go bad if we didn’t eat them soon so I just served it with this” thinking it wouldn’t be a huge deal.

(Disclaimer: I have recently tried to have more of a variety of vegetables in our diet, neither of us are super picky but he isn’t huge on cauliflower, which the rice had in it and he did know that, ((50% white rice, 50% cauliflower rice)) and he doesn’t love left over but I’m trying to be better about food waste)

I could tell he was annoyed so I said I’d make a quick pasta if he really wanted it and he insisted no it’s fine, but I could still tell he didn’t want was on his plate. So I said “what? you know I served it this way so the rice and beans wouldn’t go bad and so we are not wasting food” (I’m annoyed at this point ) he says, “well normally you plan a meal around what you’re making and not just throwing random sh!t together.

You’re two for two with the weird meals this week, I’m cooking tomorrow.” (2/2 referring to me trying to serve him cauliflower rice twice in the same week) I stood up, grabbed his plate while he was mid bite and tossed the entire contents of the plate in trash.

In the moment I was just shocked that he would talk to me that way after I just made him a meal, without a thank you, nothing, he literally could have just said nothing and not eaten the cauliflower but he was just rude about it. I know it wasn’t an amazing, made-from-scratch meal but it still felt disrespectful.

I now think I might have overreacted a little bit, but I’m still feeling a little hurt by how he reacted. Please let me know if I’m the @$$hole in this situation and of his reaction was warranted for what I served, are those things really that weird together? I didn’t think so but now I’m questioning it. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

SwimAccomplished9487 said:

So… to prove your point about not wasting food…you wasted food? Yes he was being a jerk but your reaction was over the top.

DragonScrivner said:

You’re both AH. Your husband was super rude and ungrateful and you wasted a bunch of food for spite. I would not be excited to eat the sides you made either (cauliflower rice is just not good), but I wouldn’t complain about it out loud.

SoapGhost2022 said:

So you purposely made something he doesn’t like and kept poking at him for a reaction. When you got a reaction you then waste food by throwing it away? Yeah, YTA

And OkEast445 said:

You said in your commentary that “he literally could’ve said nothing”. He didn’t say anything, you were the one who kept talking about it because you didn’t like his body language. You decided to keep commenting and got mad because you didn’t like the answer, even though you already knew what it was.

Yes, he could’ve been more appreciative of your efforts, but you way overreacted. You made a mountain over a molehill.

INFO/Clarification:

I bake mostly for “fun” but I bake a lot, from scratch multiple times a week. We know the cooking is not an even split, but he normally does week night dinners and I do the cooking weekends and anytime we are having people over (it was just the us for dinner this evening, I would never serve leftovers to company lol) I also do the dishes if he cooks or vs. We are happy with our current split.

I didn’t say he “didn’t like cauliflower rice” , I said “ he is not huge on it” apologies for any confusion, I just meant he just doesn’t normally go back for seconds, he also didn’t mind the way it was prepared, it was eating it along side everything else. If he really didn’t like cauliflower rice I wouldn’t cook it for him, that would be weird.

Also mixing rice and cauliflower like that isn’t that strange. When implementing a new food in your diet, sometimes it’s easier to try it with something you’re already accustomed to. Again we are just trying new ways to increase our veggie intake.

UPDATE:

Thank you, some this feedback was super helpful! Yes what I did was dumb. After we had a minute to compose ourselves we both apologized. Me for my terrible reaction and him for his harsh words. I came on this sub to ask this question because this was uncharacteristic behavior for the both of us.

Honestly we both had really rough weeks at work, and were on edge because of that, ( not an excuse for either of our actions, just context) Contrary to some of the comments, we are normally very nice to each other and normally communicate like healthy adults and we do like each other ALOT!

I showed him this post after our talk and we agree, we both are a$$holes in this! We had a laugh at some of the comments, and we agreed we both would would try and make more of effort to eat leftovers but maybe and we won’t be serving cauliflower with chicken parm anymore, separately they are okay! and maybe communicate a little more ahead of meals about what is being served.