'AITA for throwing a celebration party after learning I'm not the father to my ex-girlfriend's baby?'
"AITA for throwing a celebration party after learning I'm not the father to my ex-girlfriend's baby?"
Impossible-Ferret722
So I (28m) have been getting a lot of lip from my family for this. I dated my girlfriend Emma (28f) for about 3 years. My family REALLY loved her, like it was clear they wanted us to get married.
And truth be told, I figured it was heading that way too. Well, things took a sudden turn when she unexpectedly announced she was pregnant. This came as a shock to me, given that we'd both used birth control.
I asked her if she'd consider an abortion, and she refused. When she broke the news to my family, they were ecstatic. My mom and dad were overjoyed that they'd be having a grandchild. My two sisters (23f and 32f) were also going crazy over it. Basically, they had the opposite reaction to me.
I began preparing to man up but really didn't want to. Well, after I had come to terms with it, I was pretty much resigned to the situation. So I supported her. However, I couldn't help but feel weird given that we had both taken measures to prevent this. I ended up snooping through her phone and lo behold, she had been cheating on me.
I was devastated but as messed up as it sounds, kind of prepared for it. This wasn't the first time I'd been cheated on. I confronted her and she broke down in tears, you know, the usual typical cheater routine.
I'm honestly freaking tired of it. So I demanded a paternity test, I knew it was possible to get them during pregnancy. They're just expensive. I expected her to put up resistance, but surprisingly she didn't.
I don't know why, but I guess she really thought if she agreed to this, then it'd make me trust her more or something? A risk on her part but I'm so very glad it went through. It came back as not mine.
Her reaction to that news was to break down but my reaction was pure bliss and relief. Since then, I've cut her off and just went on with my life. I often switch between being depressed as F by her cheating to just dancing around in happiness.
So recently, I decided to throw a bit of a celebration. My parents were cool with me doing this at their place (my place is too small to throw a decent get together). So I invited a bunch of my buddies (6-7 of us) to celebrate.
We had pizza, balloons, drinks, etc. It looked like a birthday party. My buddies even got me a cake which says ''you are NOT the father'' as a joke. We all celebrated. Well my sisters are also staying over at my parents place for a while and when they came back, they asked what was going on.
I told them it's a celebration for me finding out I'm not the father. They already knew I had learned I wasn't, but their response after the party was to say that my celebration was ''trashy'' and ''gross." I don't understand why they're coming at me like that. AITA over this?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
SwimmingProgram6530
NTA. What‘s trashy and gross is someone trying to pass off their affair baby as yours. Finally a post when the ‘father’ finds out the paternity early instead of years later. Oh and congratulations 🙌
wonkiefaeriekitty5
OP's ex is the one who is trashy and gross! I say make it an annual event. Party on OP!! Oh, wait, petty me says make that party on "not your baby's birthday"!....too much?
RavenclawEC
NTA, you have a right to celebrate any news as you please, as long as you are not hurting anybody and you weren't so, your news, your life, your choice...
Additional_Phrase610
NTA. You got rid of a cheater and are free and clear of any responsibility for her kid. I'd say that's a cause for celebration. If you want to be an a$$h0l3 about it I would ask your sisters if this hit a little too close to home and if any of their exes had reasons to celebrate their breakups before calling it gross or trashy.
4-ton-mantis
Remember on the maury show guys would dance on stage when they were not the father?
JockoJohnson69
NTA. They were probably sad that they aren’t going to be aunts because of your cheating ho girlfriend.
Faar1984
NTA, your cheating ex-girlfriend is. I also would have been relieved in such a situation. Maybe not to an extend to throw a party, but I would have definitely treated myself to a nice meal or something like that ;-)
mustang19671967
My only problem is why wasn’t i invited . One thing you are going to Need to consider is she is going to try to include your sisters And parents in the babies life to get you back . You will Need to decided if your ok with it , but I would tell Then you will Never be at anything she is at birthdays Xmas Etc.
chicharrones_yum
NTA tell them what’s trashy and gross is somebody trying to trick someone into raising a child that’s not theirs. Tell them what’s trashy and grow is cheating on your partner.
Remind them of how many men have been screwed over being forced to pay child support for a kid that is not theirs because the government does not care. Throwing a party is nothing compared to what she did to you.
DawnShakhar
Your sisters should loosen up! Your GF was pregnant and you didn't want to be a father, you knew she had cheated on you so that being a father would mean paying child support and dealing with her for the next 18 years. You found out you were free! Definitely reason for a celebration.