Woman kicks her sister out of her birthday party for replacing her 'dream cake' with one made by her kid. AITA?
"AITA for throwing my sister out of my birthday party after seeing my cake?"
I (28) got my first job with a decent salary this year and I wanted to celebrate it by throwing a bigger birthday party. My sister (32) is a baker and i love her cakes, so I asked her to make me a birthday cake.
We planned it for two months, designing the whole thing, changing details, adding something here, taking something away there, etc. I'll also say right away that I paid her for the ingredients and her time, she got more then earns normally.
Everything seemed to be going great, but on my birthday she came an hour early with a cake and... it wasn't what we had planned. It was terrible. All the decorations looked weird, the colors were mixed so much that sometimes they looked black, words had errors.
I asked her what happened. She then proudly announced to me that her daughter (10) helped with the baking and 80% of the cake was her idea. I got mad. Like, very angry.
I told her that I hoped she was kidding and that it was some fake cake and she had the real one in her car or something. But no. This nightmare was a real, and my sister still didn't understand why I was angry.
I told her to go away. She was still confused, we had a huge fight and I ended up throwing her, her daughter (she was in the living room, she didn't see the whole conversation) and the cake out.
Then I went to the store and bought 3 cakes, the birthday party went well, but a few people asked about my sister. And the next day my sister started complaining about how I treated her, which led to a conflict in the family.
Some are on her side, some are on mine, and others think "well, my sister shouldn't do that, but I should be the cool aunt and enjoy the cake.". Meanwhile, what I regret most is the money I lost and I wonder if I should get it back from her.
my sister doesn't do it fully professionally, she currently works in office, and cakes are side job. Normally for one cake she gets 200-300 PLN. I paid 870 PLN. The nearest bakery would want at least 900 for a similar cake.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA - as far as it matters, you contracted her out and she not only got a financial bonus, she ignored the customers wishes and let her child make the cake? Pretty sure that wouldn’t fly in ANY health inspection and she could lose licensing to sell her cakes. I’d tell her to refund the money since she didn’t provide what you paid for.
Seriously. I'm all for kids helping and cutesy stuff, but this is a purchase with requests. If the sister and niece wanted to do something extra like a fun mini cake that'd be fine and even very sweet imo. But you can't just change the main order.
I just hope OP wasn't mean to the child though. This was the sister's screw up. I understand kicking out the parent also kicks out the child, but hopefully she wasn't rude to the kid.
I doubt highly you'll ever get the money back from her. Anybody who says anything to you should be told "I paid her for a professional birthday cake. She brought me a garbage cake. I'm beyond angry."
Since you paid her for it, she was completely wrong to allow her daughter to get involved. I understand as a mom she thought it would be so cool to involve the daughter in making auntie's cake.
The problem is, your birthday cake became all about her daughter and not about you. It was very selfish of her. She could have even made a second cake with her daughter and the daughter could have given it to you as a second cake. But what she did was terribly wrong. I'd have been pissed!
NTA. You should have taken a photo. You paid for a cake and got a kid's mess instead. It would have been fine if the cake was free but you paid a lot of money for it. Your sister purposely ruined your party and she knows it. Now she is trying to play the victim. Don't let her. Tell everyone how much she charged you.
Since you paid her and paid her more than she normally earns to make the exact cake you helped design for two whole months beforehand then I say you're definitely NTA. Your sister is the obvious huge AH!
Would she think it was OK to have her daughter design and do enough of the work on a cake for any other paying client??? Absolutely not because she would loose all her business quick, fast, and in a hurry. She should apologize and give you your money back.
While I think it's a wonderful idea to have her daughter help her make the cake that you and your sister decided on, completely changing the cake to let her daughter have more input is wrong. I don't think you should've thrown it or them out.
NTA but I would've gone to the store and got another cake and just let people decide which they'd like. I'd also make sure my sister knew that what she did was wrong since you didn't give her carte blanch to make a cake of her own design.
She also should pay you back for your wasted money. I just don't get her thought process of letting her daughter do whatever she wanted for the cake after you two spent a couple months deciding exactly what you wanted. Bizarre.
NTA. Ask those that are on her side to pay back the money you lost. Since they seem to care way more about her than surely they would be willing to fork over their cash. Wait, they aren't? Then they can eff right off.