'TIFU by making my girlfriend think I was cheating on her, when I was actually planning a surprise.' AITA?
"TIFU by making my girlfriend think I was cheating on her, when I was actually planning a surprise."
Alright, this actually happened over the weekend, and I’m still a bit shaken (and relieved) writing this. So, my girlfriend (25F) and I (26M) have been together 3 years, and I wanted to do something really special for her birthday coming up.
I decided I’d plan a surprise party and propose to her at the party in front of our friends and family. ? Ambitious, I know. The past few weeks, I’ve been sneaking around organizing everything – I bought a ring, conspired with her best friend, and even had secret calls with her parents to get their blessing. I was so excited and sure it would be an epic surprise.
The mess up began with all the secretive behavior this required. I’m usually an open book, but suddenly I’m hiding my phone, texting people behind her back, and making up lame excuses to duck out of the house (“Uh, need to run an errand… bye!”).
I thought I was being slick to avoid spoiling the surprise. In reality, I was acting sketchy as hell. Her best friend (who was helping me plan) messaged me something like, “Can’t wait to see you to go over the final details ?” while my girlfriend was borrowing my phone to play a song.
I snatched the phone back so fast and pretended it was a work message. ? Mistake. At that point, I officially raised every suspicious red flag possible. I could feel her side-eyeing me the rest of the night.
Over the next few days, I noticed my girlfriend getting quiet and anxious. I tried to play it cool, but I was often rushing off to take calls from the party venue or whispering to her friend about party prep.
She started asking me strange questions like “Everything okay between us?” and I just nervously laughed it off, which only made me look guiltier. I was this close to the finish line, so I figured it would be fine once I pulled off the surprise… if I could avoid looking like a cheating jerk for two more days.
Well, last Friday it all came crashing down. I came home and found my girlfriend in tears, holding my iPad. Pro tip: if you have Apple devices, they all get your iMessages. ? She had seen some of my message exchanges with her best friend about “the plan” and “keeping it secret.”
One out-of-context line from me said, “I can’t wait to finally do this. It’s so hard to keep lying to [Girlfriend].” (I meant lying to her about why I was busy, but ohhh my god, out of context it looked BAD.)
She confronted me sobbing, thinking I was having an affair with her best friend or something. She was shaking, my heart absolutely dropped into my stomach, and I started panicking trying to explain, “It’s not what you think!”
It took me a solid minute to get her to stop yelling and listen. I was literally on my knees – not exactly how I planned this – trying to calm her down and tell her the truth. I said, “I swear, I was lying because… I’m planning a surprise for you.
Please just open that closet.” She was confused (and still sniffle-crying) and opened the closet… where I’d hid the birthday gift bag with the ring box inside. She turned back to me, and I just blurted out everything: the party, the proposal, how her friend and parents were in on it, and that I’m an idiot.
She went from angry crying to shocked crying, and finally started happy crying once it clicked. I ended up officially proposing to her right then and there on our living room floor, because why not at that point! Not the grand romantic tableau I envisioned, but the ring made it onto her finger. ?
She said yes (through lots of tears and a half-laugh at how absurd the whole situation was). We just sat on the floor hugging each other, both kind of trembling – her from the emotional rollercoaster I put her on, and me from narrowly avoiding complete disaster.
Later on, when things calmed down, she did kind of scold me: “You dummy, I really thought you were cheating! You scared me!” (Fair… I feel like a total jerk for putting her through that.)
We also had a laugh when she realized her best friend’s “?” texts were about cake and decorations, not secret hookups. In the end, we decided to still go through with the birthday party that night and act like the proposal was a surprise in front of our friends.
It was awkwardly hilarious because everyone but her thought she was genuinely surprised when I got down on one knee – they had no idea she’d found me out beforehand. We haven’t told that part of the story to our families yet; that little fiasco is just between us (and, well… now the internet).
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Glad you didn't put the surprise ahead of telling the truth xD seen enough of these stories go wrong AF bc the dude didn't wanna spoil the surprise and resolve the cheating concerns lol
My husband of 13 years had this giant fancy proposal on this giant Ferris wheel planned for on my birthday that everyone else knew about.... But got too excited and proposed to me mid Star Trek episode the day before. It's a great and perfect story that is very precious to me. Hopefully this will become a precious memory to her too!
this is a common romcom plot, your girlfriend needs to be more genre savvy.
At least you have a good proposal story. Nobody remembers the details that went perfectly.
OP is such a noob. I lied to my husband for two months (saying that I had to work late) when I was taking singing lessons to surprise him on his wedding. I had the whole floor in my company trained to say that I was on a meeting of something like that if he came looking for me.
And when my husband was planning his proposal he took vacation days, when to work and made the plans from there (the guys from work were super sweet and took photos). Lying to your partner requires focus, planning, commitment and proper accomplices, I don’t recommend doing it for more than two weeks if you lack experience.