'AITA if I told my brother and SIL that they are ridiculously over feeding their child?'

"AITA if I told my brother and SIL that they are ridiculously over feeding their child?"

Hi all, I need some opinions on how to go about this. I have a niece that is 6-years-old that is very overweight for her age. She already weighs over 125 lbs and she is about 3 ft. tall. My SIL has me watch her a couple days a week when she has to work.

Now, I don't mind watching her except for the fact that this kid is ALWAYS hungry and asking for food. Her parents have pacified her with food her entire life. I have NEVER seen her eat a vegetable, and her parents do not make her eat them.

Her mother is always saying, "when she is ready to eat a vegetable, she will, it's her choice." This kid is chocked full of chicken nuggets, fries, and pizza. Her growing belly is extremely concerning. Her mom jokes about how she throws up milk sometimes because she will drink too much of it. As if she is not the parent that has control over what she drinks, and how much.

She refuses to try anything new, and her parents will make separate meals for her every time they eat. Not one of these meals has ever been healthy. I once watched them feed her, over the course of the day, those pancakes wrapped in sausage with a ridiculous amount of syrup. She ate the entire box of 10 in one day. And they always give her seconds with dessert because she begs.

This is obviously a huge cause of concern for me. She is a wonderful little girl otherwise, and has told me about how much she is being bullied in school already because of her weight. She is in Kindergarten! I hate to watch them ruin this little girls life because they give in to her every whim on what she wants to eat. It's clear she has an eating disorder at 6!

I made spaghetti for a group of people the other day, and this little girl, while I wasn't looking, scarfed down an entire loaf of garlic bread by herself. Garlic bread meant to be for the entire group. I checked the label, and this bread alone was 2000 calories. Never mind what else she ate that day. It is honestly taking a toll on me. I find myself getting irritated when she is constantly begging for food.

Even after we just ate. I caught her telling her mom the other day that she was hungry when she picked her up, and she had just had two plates of food at my house. When I watch her, I try to get her to make healthier choices (she won't), and I'm not her parent so I don't know how they will react. Especially because they won't reinforce it at home.

Both of her parents are thin, and I don't want a hard unhealthy life for this precious little girl that I think they are absolutely ruining. Kids are the worst when it comes to teasing. I don't know why they are setting her up for failure. So would I be TA if I told her parents that they are feeding her incredibly too much? I know this is a touchy subject, but I am at my wits end because I care about her.

Edit: She is 4 ft not 3 ft. I’m sorry I guesstimated. I am a tall woman so she looks pretty short to me in comparison. The weight is correct because she stood on a scale in front of me. To the people that are saying this is fake, I wish it was. Sorry for the poor height guess.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

HomelyHobbit wrote:

I would sit her parents down and gently suggest that they take her to the doctor to be tested for Prader Willi syndrome. If the child feels hungry all the time, this may be the explanation. If not, the doctor can refer the parents to a nutritionist.

Cloverose2 wrote:

I keep seeing Prader-Willi, but the insatiable appetite is not the only symptom of that disorder. Mild to moderate cognitive disability, underdeveloped genitals (which I don't expect OP to know about), behavioral dysfunction (difficulty regulating emotions, temper tantrums, etc.), delayed motor skills, delayed growth and highly distinctive facial features are a big part of the disorder, not just lack of hunger.

It's far more than being hungry all the time. Children can develop the need for food as a coping mechanism, just like adults do. If they are constantly eating when they aren't hungry, the body can disconnect hunger signals from actual hunger.

If she does not have a medical reason for this, it is very likely a psychological response. Food is consumed to show love, to alleviate boredom, to cope with anxiety or distress, or just because it's there and consuming it activates the brain's reward centers.

It would require extensive treatment and family therapy to break those ties, which means the parents must completely buy into the need for therapy and the hard work it will take for everyone to change their habits and patterns. OP, I'm glad that you're concerned. Unfortunately, if the parents won't accept the need for change, you may be very limited.

Provide plentiful opportunities for engagement and set firm boundaries with food in your house - not deprivation, humiliation or punishment, but "You can eat this much now. In an hour, we'll talk about food again. Here is a clock. When the clock looks like this, you can ask about food again. What game would you like to play next?"

Do not put out food that she isn't meant to eat, or cook portions larger than she can eat at one time. Assume that if it's out, it's going to be consumed. You may not get far. If she is dependent on food for comfort, not having it available is liable to be distressing and alarming. Share your concerns with the parents, but they are likely to become defensive if you do it often.

Various-Issue-2292 wrote:

NTA. I’ve been obese my entire life because my parents didn’t teach me moderation and let me eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I never felt “full” and ate when I was bored, stressed, upset instead of being taught how to regulate my emotions in other ways.

It’s been a struggle just to get down to “regular” overweight and to teach myself how to eat well and in moderation as an adult. This poor kid is being set up for a lifetime of issues.

diabeticweird0 wrote:

This isn't really an AH question. The kid needs a doctor, something medical is driving this

And you can't solely put this on the parents, because as you say, when she's with you she's still eating crazy high amounts of food when you're not looking.

EDIT: I have decided this is fake and have reported it once i thought about the numbers. There's no way a 3 foot tall human weighs 125 pounds and still walks around and attends school.