'AITA for cutting my pregnant sister off financially? She's being irresponsible.'
"AITA for cutting my pregnant sister off financially and telling her having another baby would be irresponsible of her?"
AggravatingAd9216 writes:
I'm 22, and my sister Mia is 25. Mia's son is 7 months old, and the father is not involved in her baby's life at all; he basically left a week after the baby was born. I've been financially supporting both Mia and her baby while she gets back on her feet and looks for a job to cover her bills on her own.
Fast forward to two days ago, Mia called me excitedly, sharing some big news. Deep down, I already had a sense of what she was about to say, and my intuition was confirmed when she revealed that she was pregnant again.
She went on and on about how she met a new guy she hadn't mentioned before, how well he treats her and the baby, and how she believes he's "the one" and can't wait to have the family she always wanted.
I decided to be straightforward with her. She hadn't been dating this guy for very long, yet she was already pregnant and talking about marriage simply because he was treating her and the baby "nicely." He wasn't contributing to the bills or providing in any way.
I expressed my concerns that this relationship might not last, and she could end up a single mom of two. I also mentioned the potential risks of getting pregnant so soon after giving birth.
Mia accused me of being "fake" and claimed that I wasn't acting like family, suggesting I should support her like our mother is doing. As it turned out, our mother was being overly supportive and reinforcing Mia's idealized view of the situation. She was telling Mia stories of how our stepdad only knew her for two months before they got married and so on.
I told Mia that I couldn't financially support her or any additional children if she chose to go through with this. I emphasized that I wasn't pressuring her into anything, but I refused to finance her choices. I explained, "You're on your own, Mia. I can't enable you to dig yourself further into financial difficulties due to irresponsible and unplanned pregnancies. I refuse to."
Naturally, she didn't take it well, began crying, accused me of not wanting her to be happy, called me names, and hung up. Our mother isn't very happy with me either. I do feel bad; I don't think I worded it the best way, nor should I have called her irresponsible. I'm just at my breaking point. AITA (Am I The A%#hole)?
Here are some of the top comments from the post.
RobertoStrife says:
NTA (Not the A%#hole) , you could've worded it better, but you're on the money, it's an irresponsible decision and she should know better. She's not entitled to your financial support and you have the right to cut that off. Also, it makes me laugh that she calls you fake, because you're the only one being real with her.
klouds77 says:
NTA. You have no obligation to support other people's kids. You’re a good sister for helping her with the one kid she has, but bringing another kid into it when she can’t event support the first one is irresponsible.
She hasn’t known this guy long enough, and only time will tell if he will stick around for the baby. You’re 22. You have your own life to live and grow into. You’re a good sister for supporting her and her baby, but she is living in another universe if she thinks a second child is responsible.
Babies only bring more stress, they don’t fix anything. You did the right thing. No pressure, it’s her choice, but you can’t afford it financially or psychologically.
NTA. She's not living in reality. Why on earth did she think that her starting a family with someone else would mean you would continue to financially support her? Does she think you should pay for another child? Does she think her new boyfriend will pay for one kid, and you'll pay for her and the other one?
She's making stupid decisions because she's caught up in the "romance" of it. Better to pull the rug out now, before she gets fully used to the idea of you completely supporting her. Stop before it even starts for the new kid. She's a grown adult with more than one child now, she should be able to take care of herself if she can have another child.
What do you think? Should OP be okay with her sister having another baby, or is she right to cut her sister off if she has another baby?