'AITA for telling my uncle and his wife they should be embarrassed?' UPDATED
"AITA for telling my uncle and his wife they should be embarrassed?"
My uncle (moms brother) and his wife are living with my grandparents. When they moved into my grandparents condo they claimed the bigger room and put my aunt (moms sister/grandmas caretaker)and grandparents all in the much smaller room.
My grandparents being the selfless people they are never argued with them about it in fear of my uncle. My aunt didn't want to fight with him either also due to fear and him being so mean to her since they were young.
My uncle is in his late 40s early 50s maybe and he married his wife like 10 years ago, she never made any effort to build any kind of relationship with my family so she's quite literally a stranger to me.
Although living in my grandparents condo and paying MINIMAL rent($600 including utilities in the greater Boston area) they do everything in their power to make my grandparents lives more difficult and everything they "own" in the condo is labeled. The NAPKINS are even labeled. This might be acceptable in an ordinary roommate situation but these are his parents.
Today I went to visit my grandparents and immediately noticed an air mattress in the living room. I asked who was sleeping there and my grandparents said that they were, Why? Because the room they have does not have a window that is compatible with their AC. There has been a heat wave bringing extreme humidity that has been very dangerous for many people.
Once I found out that the room that my uncle and his wife had AC and they have just been allowing my 80 year old grandparents to be sleeping on an air mattress I got very angry.
I wasn't expecting them to offer their room I knew they are way to selfish for that however, I believe my uncle should have gone to buy his parents an AC that was compatible with the window. My uncle was not home but his wife walked in as I was discovering this information, she marched straight to the room without greeting anyone as she always does.
I'm not sure if it was just the situation today or years of built up anger towards their selfishness but I was done with just staying quiet like everyone else. I started saying how unfair and crazy it was to treat your own parents and in laws that way, especially since they do SOO much for them.
This prompted the wife to come out of hiding and approach where I was to "say hi" (she had ignored me every time I was over for well over a year). I could not put on a fake smile this time and blurted out "I bet ur comfy in that nice cool room, are you not embarrassed that you are sleeping comfortably while 2 elderly people(my grandma was also just recovering from surgery) are sleeping on an air mattress.
She responded by saying "don't worry we will be out so soon" then starts crying. This made me laugh and I will say I was an AH for this part but I turned at her mocking her crying.
She dramatically stormed out saying she's leaving out of this house but comes back less than a minute later with my uncle on the phone, I'm guessing she thought I wouldn't say the same to him but I doubled down and I said he should have made sure my grandparents had AC.
He responded with "what gives you the right to say that" then says that my grandparents did that on their own he didn't ask them to sleep out there. He kept mentioning how it was their choice and "they volunteered too" Well no shit their choices were hot ass sauna room or cooler open space.
After about 15 minutes of him yelling at my grandpa and my mom on the phone he finally hung up. Later that evening when I was home I received a text from an unknown number saying that I was a rude child and that my mom did a terrible job raising me, after looking up the number it ended up being the wife's 28 year old daughter.
I probably didn't handle the situation the best but I don't think I'm the AH. Who else would be okay with their 80 year old grandparents sleeping on an air mattress in 90 degree weather?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Why isn’t anyone reporting them?
MeasurementJaded9115 (OP)
My mom and I are looking into it, we just don't want my moms sister their caretaker to be blamed for allowing it but she didn't have much of a say, she is genuinely terrified of him she also has really bad paranoia. We are really hoping that he wont come back but if he does we will be reporting asap.
So, who's kicking them out? There's no way ya'll are going to let this continue? I want the update once you throw them out on their ass.
You’re your grandparents voices - good for u. Make sure they’re not also taking your grandparents money 💰
My grandparents are both still very protective of him in a way which is why he's gotten away with so much. We are Hispanic and its not right but the sons are favored in the culture.
He's still their son and although he doesn't act that way they unfortunately still care for him a lot, my grandfather kept trying to calm the situation yesterday saying he didn't even hear me saying that to his wife which is true.
Him and his wife ended up leaving and not returning last night they stayed in a hotel, this morning he called my grandma and said he wouldn't come back unless my mom and I "confronted him and apologized", I guess he thinks that's a threat but I hope he really doesn't come back.
I don't want my mom going to talk to him because of his violent past and my moms heart condition however I have told my mom that if he wants to talk to me I'll be more than happy to talk to him.
If he's waiting for an apology he will be waiting for the rest of his life. Fingers crossed him and his wife don't return to the house except to gather their trash and leave. Will keep updating.
Three days later, the OP returned with an update.
They are moving out!! They leave officially tomorrow and my grandparents finally stopped babying him. They aren't mad at me anymore after they realized how immature and rude he is. I'm glad they are getting their room back.
Thank you for all the comments, so much of the information was so helpful in solving the issue. I know many people thought it was obvious I wasn't the AH but the way I was being villainized at first really made me question my choices so seeings all the comments gave me the confidence to not back down.