'AITA because I took back my disabled parking placard from my mom? Now my whole family hates me.'

"AITA, because I took back my disabled parking placard from my mom now my whole family hates me?"

I’m disabled and use a power wheelchair most of the time. On a good day, I can walk maybe 50–100 feet before I’m in severe pain or risk falling. Because of this, I got a disabled parking placard when I was 18. At the time, my mom’s car was my main ride, so I kept the placard in her vehicle. I made one rule very clear: she can’t use it unless I’m in the car.

I explained that using it without me is illegal and could get the car ticketed or towed, the placard taken, and me stuck in a long reapplication process. To make sure the point stuck, I kept the DMV paperwork with me. That way, if I went somewhere with a friend and used the placard, I’d have it if asked. She agreed.

For context, I have zero tolerance for people misusing disabled parking. I rely on those spaces, and misuse directly affects people like me. One day, I wheeled to the Safeway about a quarter mile from my house, which I do regularly. When I got there, I saw my mom’s car in a disabled spot the wheelchair accessible one with the striped area.

That really upset me because people who can’t walk at all need that space to get in and out safely, without risking damage to cars or being blocked in. My placard was hanging in the window. I wasn’t with her. I had a spare key, so I unlocked the car and took my placard. I knew the car could get ticketed or towed without it, but she’d already been warned not to use it without me.

I also went into the store to try to find her to warn her, but couldn’t. I finished shopping and went home. Later, my mom got home and said someone had stolen my placard from her car. She said the doors were locked and had no idea how it happened.

I told her it wasn’t stolen and showed her the placard. I explained I took it because she was illegally parked without me, after I’d explicitly told her not to. She got very upset, saying she was “just running in for a few things.” I pointed out it took her nearly an hour longer than it took me to get home, so it clearly wasn’t a quick stop.

Then she started yelling that the car could’ve been towed, that she couldn’t take my brothers to school, and couldn’t get to work and blamed me for all of it. My family piled on, acting like I was completely wrong for removing the placard.

They treated it like I’d endangered everyone, rather than her breaking the law and ignoring my boundaries. I explained again that I tried to find her in the store to warn her, but couldn’t. Now everyone seems to think I’m the asshole for taking back my placard, even though it was being used illegally and directly impacts people with who are disabled like me. So AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

GrumpyKitten36 wrote:

Wow you rock for doing that! NTA. As someone who has a handicap placard as well (albeit not a permanent one but need it for now), this is a big pet peeve of mine. I can walk so I always make sure to leave the wheelchair van accessible one’s open if there aren’t others available because of situations like yours.

Your mom is breaking the law and you would’ve paid the price if she had been caught. You were clear about the rules and your boundaries and she is the one who decided to break them.

TheWacoFogey wrote:

NTA. Your mother is putting your access to those spaces in danger of revocation if she's caught using the placard on her own, not to mention preventing disabled people from accessing those spaces. My wife has permanent disabilities, and we have both the license plate and a placard for when she's with friends or we rent a car in other cities.

I never ever use disabled spots unless she's with me and coming into the store. I have reparked the car when she has changed her mind and decides to stay in the car. Those spots are not for me, and not for your mom either. They are for you, my wife, and people who have legitimate disabilities. In the future, just keep your placard with you. Don't leave it in any car but your own.

Gattina1 wrote:

Absolutely NTA. There was no reason for her to use your placard, and you had every right to take it back. Now that's she realized all the things that can happen if she parks in a handicap space without your placard, maybe she'll use some common sense. Ignore the family members who think you're in the wrong. You are not.

Another thought, they know you need your placard, and you truly need it when you're trying to park somewhere. And they're clueless about how much you rely on it? Your relatives are the AHs.

Moogy13 wrote:

NTA I have had disabled parking plates or placard for 19 years this year. And sometimes I look like I don't need it. I've actually had people come up and yell at me, but here's the thing, not all disabilities are visible disabilities. That being said, your mother is the asshole in this instance. You were definitely not TA.

rumorofskin wrote:

You are absolutely NTA. Your mother is simply embarrassed that you called her out for being insufferably entitled. The rest of your family has strong opinions because they are not legally responsible for the placard, and don't have to pay consequences for its misuse.

They all probably think it is actually a perk to have access to such a placard in order to make their own lives easier. This tells you all that you need to know about your family; any one of them would misuse that privilege of parking and inconvenience YOU along with countless others simply because they can't be bothered to walk a little bit. I am so sorry that you had to experience this.

the_dr_henceforth wrote:

NTA -BUT- it sounds like you made a petty move to teach your mom a lesson. Only reason its not an "everyone sucks here" is that I don't know diddly squat about your mom, so I don't know if this is the best way to make your point or not.

Gravity19 wrote:

NTA. It is issued to you and not her, which makes her an AH in this situation. Your family sounds very inconsiderate of you. I have an elderly mother with similar sounding issues, and those disabled parking spaces make a huge difference for her when visiting malls or restaurants. Regular parking spaces are smaller and are sometimes by a curb which is hard for her to get up vs a ramp in a disabled space.