Twin says her sister is 30 years too late to cry 'glass child syndrome.' AITA?
"AITA for calling my sister petty over being mad about not getting 'enough attention' and she’s 30 years too late to cry glass child syndrome?"
So quick family context: I have a twin. We are both in our 30’s. It’s just us. And our family is DEFINITELY not perfect and definitely have anxiety and depression that runs in the family. (My parents did their best but could of been more emotionally available in our youth yada yada).
How it started and context: I’ve been going through some relatively serious health stuff. To the point I’m going through tests, medical appointments to a large well known hospital, medicine changes, dealing with my “new life “ with a chronic illness. My parents are retired physicians so they have been pretty involved especially when I had a medical emergency.
Basically this condition mimics a tumor, so cancer scare was there. Got the all clear luckily it’s not cancer. I’m pretty reserved and self sufficient but will admit I probably had more of my parents “attention“ the last couple months. My twin seemed to not truly understand the severity of things. Not sure if it’s by choice or just sheer “ignorance?" Or lack of understanding.
MAIN PLOT AND Story: we have a family group text. I admit it seemed like my parents would respond to some of my texts more than her. Ok. I noticed but didn’t think it’s a big deal. We are all adults. I slowed down, but I know she also has a separate group chat with them for the grand kid.
Twin posts about some animals at her house right when I shared about my ugly rental car. My parents “emoji-reacted“ to her image while they full responded to my text. She instantly leaves the group chat.
So I noticed and ask what’s up and that I’m sorry it seemed like they were responding to me more. But then I get this. “Dad said once 'you’re only as happy as your saddest kid' or whatever and that was said when you were like dealing with stuff but you’re the priority right how bc of all the health stuff. Which is fine. I’m not mad at that, but I’m not the priority."
Honestly pissed me off and it hurt me . And I’ll admit I called them a petty ass bitch about it. There were some things that happened earlier in the months that also broke my trust with them (Iike going into my phone without my consent - whole different story). I feel like SHE is the one over reacting and being petty. Trying to say it’s glass child syndrome at 30 sounds asinine to me.
I don’t know if she’s jealous over the attention? I guess I hoped that went away after we were in high school. But I guess not. I’m sad, frustrated, semi confused, and just burnt out from all this. She will be in town next week and I’m definitely nervous as I know I’ll need to set up boundaries but not make it obvious either.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
YTA. Sorry you’re sick but you’re being mean to your sister. Especially for the name calling. You literally acknowledge your parents are placing preferential treatment to you over your sis. It’s like you’re mad she's acknowledging it too.
Prior_Butterfly_7839 said:
YTA if I understand this correctly. Your parents have always noticeably favored you and you think your twin should have just gotten over it because you’re both adults now. A person does not just “get over” their parent’s obvious favoritism. It takes time, reflection, therapy, etc. Continuing to see favoritism into adulthood could make that almost impossible to get over.
professional-taurus said:
YTA and the golden child. Self-reflect, or expect to lose contact with your sibling.
calling_water said:
YTA for blaming her for answering your question. She sounds pretty well-adjusted IMO: she’s noticed that you’re getting more parental attention, she’s not happy about it, but in her response to you she basically says that she understands that she isn’t the priority because of your current health issues.
What more were you looking for? For her to claim she didn’t notice or didn’t feel it? What she said didn’t sound petty but you certainly do.
Educational_Car6184 said:
YTA. She's allowed her feelings. I figured you'd be more sympathetic to them tbh. I am also chronically ill and have had seizures for years. I had brain surgery literally this year. So my family spends way more attention on me. And it honestly makes me feel awful. It has driven a wedge between me and my sister because she feels they love me more. I wish I had a sister handling it like yours is.
Mine was cussing me out, went down a crazy political spiral and cut me off completely, two weeks before my brain surgery. I don't understand how you don't feel badly that your sister feels this way. You are so mad at her for calmly expressing that she is feeling a bit hurt but she understands why they are doing it.
Mandaravan said:
Yes, YTA. Acknowledge multiple times that they aren't treating her fairly, but you're mad at her for mentioning that too? I guess you are and do have main character syndrome! Maybe it's time you got over yourself.