'AITA for giving an ultimatum to my partner because of his dog?' UPDATED

"AITA for giving an ultimatum to my partner because of his dog?"

Me and my partner lives in a one bedroom apartment, we both have work at night and go home by the morning. He’s been with his dog for 2-3 years when we became official. Of course, I was okay with that and I don’t mind that. After 6 months of being together, we decided we wanna live together in one roof so this is where everything starts -

1.) He wouldn’t sleep without his dog, I have no problem with this if his dog was nice but his dog wasn’t. When I wake up to go pee or do my business, it would try to bite me and growl at me. I talked to my partner about it and he says he really can’t sleep without the dog by his side.

2.) The dog gets angry when I try to be sweet with my partner, and what my partner does is just say “ Noo, don’t do that” queue in a sweet loving voice, as if it could understand what he says. LOL.

3.) The dog is spoiled AF!! He would cook foods for his dog and we can’t go on vacation for too long because he has to cook food for his dog. And whatever that dog wants to bite, he can bite it even if it was cords, slippers, bed, or whatever is in the house.

4.) I tried my best, I did what I could do to try to be close with his dog. Well, it left me with 2 bites and some scratches here and there.

Now, every time I see his dog - I wanna chuck it in the bin.

Oh, and we talked about this already - all I hear from him is “You don’t try to hold him that’s why” well duh? Who would wanna hold a dog that is growling in your face without you even touching it? And when your fingertips reaches its skin it would try to bite you? Like wtf.

Now, I gave him an ultimatum to put the dog in the cage or I will leave. I just can’t live anymore in this place that restricts my movements because his dog will be agitated. FYI. No, I don’t hate dogs! Just this dog we got here in the house.

This is what people had to say to OP:

Geeezzzz-Louise said:

He’ll choose the dog. Make your exit plans.

ItchyCredit said:

OP, you never had a chance here. Your partner (?) has chosen to put an untrained, unsocialized, aggressive dog first in his life. Move on. Kudos for trying to forge a relationship with his dog but the dog isn't having it. Boyfriend has made no attempts to accommodate you. It's a lost cause.

BlazingSunflowerland said:

Just leave. You are already second to the dog. He doesn't care if the dog bites you. What happens if the dog bites you while you are sleeping? I'd nope right on out of this relationship because he loves the dog more than he loves you.

Personal-Y said:

"Boyfriend, I am moving out. I will not live in a home where I am unsafe. You have prioritized the dog over me in my own home and put my safety at risk repeatedly." Then move. Boyfriend has shown you he loves this dog more than you. Next time make sure if they have a pet youve spent enough time with the animal to know if its safe for you and your animals. Yta if you stay

Five days later, OP shared this update:

Before I go back to the story of what happened after the “ultimatum” talk. Here’s just some of the things I’d like to answer base on the comments of the people of the reddit community. Have I made effort to be close to the dog? Yes.

1.) Fed him treats - after feeding the treats from my hand, he growls and would attempt to make an attack. Guess he only cares about the treats. I tried multiple times to give him treats and I stopped after I experienced a bite from him after he ate the treats. Yes, it sent me to the hospital and I got an anti rabies shot at that time.

2.) Some advices I received was to show a dog that I put food in his bowl and I did that a lot of times. However, I was bitten again (the 2nd occurrence) when I took his empty bowl to put food on it.

Did I talk to my boyfriend about my concerns before? - Yes, I did a lot of times. Especially in those moments wherein I was scratched or bitten. I did tell him to take him to a place where he can ba trained or my boyfriend trains him - he just says to me that “I don’t have time to bring him to a trainer” “I can’t train him because he’s been that way ever since I got him”

Did I accept the dog into the relationship? Of course, why wouldn’t I? A dog would do no harm to our relationship which was what I thought before.

From what I’ve seen in our relationship, I did do my part on reminding him, giving him advices on what can be done, and tried to get along with his pet. However, I reached my limit trying to get along with his dog when my boyfriend is not trying to make an effort to make it work in our house. And yes, the dog is not potty trained so I’m guessing from there you already know that he’s not responsible owner.

The things I’ve done to get along with his dog was a first time for me since my brothers has allergic rhinitis, thus we were not allowed to have pets, so it is definitely saddening that my experience with having a pet was like this.

Sorry for the long post everyone, but to conclude we broke up on the day that I talked to him about putting the dog in a cage. I broke up with him to be exact.

When I talked to him, he told me he cannot do that and I asked for a reason why. He told me he loves his dog and wants the dog beside him at all time because he love it and all other excuses from him.

I suggested pet trainers around our vicinity to help him out, but he only said that he doesn’t believe in that because he thinks that the dogs will just be tortured by a trainer. At that point when I heard all of this, I just said that I’ll leave by tomorrow morning and never comeback.

Then, the morning came and I was already decided with my decision. I thought that everything was clear that I was done with the relationship, but it wasn’t. He came to the living room as I was packing my things and said “You are dumb for not understanding and being jealous to a dog.”

I was angry with that sentiments and said to him that “No, I’m not you are the one who’s dumb because you don’t know how to take care of a dog.” Thankfully a friend of mine already arrived before he was able to response, so I left and blocked him to all of my socials.

Now, he’s been posting to the internet that I was crazy for being jealous to a dog and not understanding a simple pet. I couldn’t care less though, I know what I experienced and felt and I know that his and my friends also knows how his dog attacks to all the people that comes over to his place. My silence is my peace and his demise.

That’s all! Thank you everyone. I hope that you will not be in the situation that I was and live, laugh, and love smart!! 🫶🏻