'AITA for undermining my step-mom and getting my step-sister soup?'

"AITA for undermining my step-mom and getting my step-sister soup?"

Last week on Friday, my (19m) stepsister (17) texts our family group chat (with me, my dad (52), my step mom (47) and my other step sister (19f)) For further context our parents got married 1 year ago so I never really got to know either of them too well and we all generally mind our own business.

She asked if someone could please grab her soup from a deli place like two miles down the street from our house on their way home because she wasn't feeling well. My dad and step sister both said they would be home later, and my step mom said that since she had a license now and could go herself.

She said she was feeling really bad and didn't think she could. I was driving and stopped at a gas station and when I checked my phone while there I saw the messages and said that I could grab her some since I had just gotten off work.

She said thank you and my step mom immediately responded and asked if I was sure since she was almost an adult who could get it herself. I said it was no big deal and that it was on the way home. We get take out from this place for dinner sometimes and I remembered she likes their cookies so I grabbed one for her too.

When I get home my step sister was on the couch and my step mom was on the kitchen Island but they're kinda in the same room. So when I gave her the soup and the cookie my step mom noticed.

Later on my dad tells me that apparently my step mom didn't like that I went and got her the soup after she said she could grab it herself, because I was undermining her. Apparently she also didn't like that I bought her a cookie too because apparently it was rewarding laziness.

I said she was being ridiculous because it was literally soup and my dad told me that it didn't matter and that if she didn't like it I was in the wrong because I crossed the line by doing something she didn't want me to do. I thought she was overreacting at first but it seems like she is still upset about it and the more I think about it I feel as if I may have went against what she wants which is semi-rude.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ProfessionalWinter60 wrote:

NTA. How could you have known that your stepmom didn’t want you to go? It sounds like your stepsister was sick and you were just being nice by getting the soup. When I’m sick I don’t want to leave my bed let alone leave the house.

OcelotUsual829 wrote:

You did nothing wrong. Also it’s dangerous for your step sister to be driving if she’s feeling really sick so she did the right thing and you were kind. It doesn’t matter that she’s almost an adult she’s still just a sick kid and you treated her as such. Her mum can go be salty elsewhere she just doesn’t like that someone else actually saw and treated her sick child the way she should.

Hope she’s feeling better and the soup helped her feel less crappy. Just keep up being a decent person and you’ll have a lovely relationship with these kids and their mum can wonder why they like you better.

FilmYak wrote:

What does being an adult have to do with it? I'm an adult with kids, one in college. And if I'm feeling sick, my wife will get soup for me, not make me get it myself. And I do the same for her. That's an absurd thing to have a problem with. Unless your stepsister does this habitually because she's lazy, but you didn't mention anything about that in your post.

WhatsInAName8879660 wrote:

Why doesn’t the step mother think it is OK to help her sick child? She’s the AH. You’re NTA, and a kind and generous person who was raised by a better parent than she was. From another mother who has nothing to do with this situation, thank you OP. I appreciate you taking care of that sick child, even if her own mother doesn’t. I think you should ignore her.

NVSmall wrote:

NTA. Wow. She is making something out of nothing. You literally made a kind gesture towards your stepsister who wasn't feeling well. That's it, that's all, and if her mother has something to say about it, ignore her. You were not rude; you were kind to her child, when she wasn't. She's more likely annoyed that you were more caring than she was in the situation.

Sure, technically you're an adult, but you are all (you and your two stepsisters) still kids if you're under the same roof as your stepmother and dad, and they shouldn't be involving you in their power-tripping. Bottom line: you did a nice thing for someone who is a newish family member. Your dad and stepmother should be happy that their kids are getting along and being kind and supportive of one another.

k8t_is_awesome1 wrote:

NTA, but your stepmom is. If someone is already out and possibly passing the place anyway, why make the girl get dressed, go out, and go get soup when she's not feeling great (or even if she was just tired or not up to driving)? It sounds simply like a form of control that your stepmother is trying to exert.

And then to make such a huge deal over someone doing something kind, even invoicing punishing you and getting your dad involved is just nutters. She asked if you were sure, and you were. You aren't a mind reader and there's no legitimate reason for her to do any of this.

GhanimaSLC wrote:

Tell your dad you now feel like your stepmom has overstepped with you because you're an adult and you can make these decisions on your own.