Unemployed man calls wife 'workaholic' and 'money obsessed' in front of friends. AITA?
It's never a good idea to tell the person who financially supports you that they're 'money obsessed'....
So, when a conflicted unemployed husband decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As^hole' about his 'money obsessed' wife, people were eager to roast him to oblivion.
"AITA for accusing my wife of workaholism in and money obsession in front of our friends?"
My (m33) wife (f25) seems to be a workaholic and is obsessed with her work. She recently graduated with her masters but she’s been supporting herself since she was 18 by running an Etsy shop. I got laid off 3 years ago and have been unable to find a job ever since.
Apart from working, my wife also writes books as a hobby which she wants to self publish once she finishes edits (she wrote 2 so far), she’s also just started a true crime YouTube channel. You’d think that’s enough right? Wrong. She also goes swimming 3 times a week and has language classes. It’s ridiculous.
I had some friends over a few nights ago and we were playing some games and having a beer. My wife doesn’t like my mates but they brought their girlfriends/wives so she could’ve made an effort.
Instead, she told me she didn’t even know they were coming as I didn’t tell her I invited them. She already had plans. She locked herself up on her office to write her book or a script or whatever.
I was pissed. I texted her multiple times but she ignored me. When she went to the kitchen to get water, I confronted her and told her she’s a workaholic and money obsessed. My friends heard it.
And she had the audacity to say that if it wasn’t for my debt she wouldn’t have to work this much. I told her she was out of line. She called me an a-hole and some other things . She slept on the couch in her office that night (her decision) and we’re on no speaking terms.
My mates agree with me (they generally think she’s stuck up anyway) but said I was the as%hole for airing dirty laundry publicly and should’ve addressed it privately. I guess they’re right and I’m the as%hole for that but I was angry?
I wonder was I the a$hole? Because if so I need to apologize and bring up the issue privately.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say here:
Single_Cookie_7915 said:
YTA. How are you gonna ridicule your wife for being ambitious and working hard to clear YOUR debt and pay for YOUR costs too when you're JOBLESS and contributing nothing financially!?
If you really did feel she was working too much, you could have spoken to her in private instead of calling her out and embarrassing her in front of others. YTA mate.
sheramom4 said:
YTA. Your wife is working her butt off because you refuse to get a job and have debt. She needs to work to provide.
And you didn't tell her that you were throwing a party or even that you had invited people over. She doesn't want to hang out with your friends with no notice. She is tired.
Why aren't you working? DO you handle all of the household chores and maintenance? What do you do for your wife while she is working several jobs and trying to have a life?
Samael13 said:
YTA - By your own admission, you've been unemployed for three years, so your wife is supporting you. You called her out in front of guests that you didn't tell her were coming over, but had the audacity to accuse her of being out of line for snapping back?
Even beyond that, imagine your wife telling this story in the same way to her friends, and how you'd feel about it. Would you appreciate your wife dismissing your passions and efforts as ridiculous? Would you feel supported if she told her friends that you were stuck up?
What, exactly, do you bring to the relationship right now? You dismiss her efforts, demean her work, insult her in front of company that you didn't let her know you'd invited over, but what are you offering to the relationship?
You're not working and you apparently contribute some amount of debt. You're not offering her emotional support. If you want an ex-wife, you're well on your way, man.
PeanutGallery10 said:
YTA on more levels than one. You shouldn't be trying to shame your wife in front of your friends. You shouldn't expect her to hang out with people she doesn't like and who don't like her.
YTA for expecting her to hang out with their female partners. Why? 21st century here. Dividing along gender lines is ridiculous, antiquated and misogynistic. YTA for expecting her to drop everything to hang out with no prior notice.
YTA for not realizing a woman who has been supporting herself since she was 18 with multiple income streams has deep concerns about financial security. Are you doing anything to find a job? Going back to school or networking? Or are you you just drinking beers and gaming?
KyussJones said:
YTA and she should definitely leave you. Your a huge drain and burden on her. She would be much happier without you and focusing on her creative endeavors. You don’t deserve her. You’re a mooch.