'AITA for being upset about the 'gift' my BF gave me for my birthday?'

"AITA for not liking the birthday present from my boyfriend?"

Okay, so it was my bday a couple days ago…. and he got me a mop. not just a mop to be fair…. he got me gift cards to walmart, burlington, and a visa gift card; a hat; lottery tickets; slippers; and some candy. I told him multiple times I wanted a juicy couture track suit and sent him the link…. he even said he would get it for me, i’d just have to wait until the day after my bday.

I was so excited. I never had a juicy tracksuit before. and if you were wondering, for his birthday, I bought him a sword, golf stuff, body spray, deodorant, some other random stuff, and made him a cake with the big item being the sword…..

two days before my birthday, we were at Lowe’s getting stuff for HIS house that was filthy and I told him i’m not moving in until he cleans it up. we were walking past a mop and I said. oh! we will need need this to clean up. and he says no. I have a swiffer…. idk if you’ve ever cleaned… let alone clean a boy’s house but you need a mop. swiffers are great when your house is already clean.

anyway… he puts back the mop and the hand held electric scrubber (which I admit was overzealous)… gets me a scrub mommy sponge, caulk for the shower, and gets cleaning vinegar even though I told him he needs more than just cleaning vinegar to get the stain out of his bathtub…. anyway…. I told him you know all that stuff is for you right? not for me? he said I wouldn’t be getting this stuff if it wasn’t for you.

Anyway…. fast forward to my bday two days later…. he got me the gifts I mentioned. they equal to more money than the juicy track suit. when I opened the mop I tried to be happy…. but ya know. I was confused and I was hurt. when I mentioned I was upset about it… he said he will take the mop back AND take back the walmart gift card.

I wanted to use that walmart gift card to spruce up the front porch because the mailbox is on the ground and is an eyesore compared to the rest of the neighborhood. another thing for his house essentially… I said no. i’m happy with my gifts and it’s special he thought of me.

the following day… the day after my birthday… the day before yesterday…I spent all day cleaning his house with my mop. because at the time, I wanted to be a good sport because the slippers he got me matched the track suit and I just thought he got it for me because he said he did. when I kept asking him about it, he said he got it but i’d have to wait until monday and my bday was on sunday.

so i’m just scrubbing my life away in his house…. and he starts talking crap about the mop. he starts saying what a sorry excuse for a mop that it is for $50… mind you he bought a cedar mop that separates the clean water from the used water…. which in theory is nice. at Lowes, I went for the regular one. It was on sale too! Not the only comment he made about this mop.

Yesterday, I used the mop again because his old roommate moved out and he said I could put my things in his old room…. I scrubbed this room because boys have dirt in such crazy places. I use the burlington gift card to buy bedding and some home decor. anyway. he gets home and starts saying, “did you mop in there? doesn’t look like it” and I start crying.

I tell him how it’s upsetting me and he says he is sorry and he is going about it the wrong way.

OP later shared this edit to her post:

No, he did not buy the tracksuit. I asked him about it and he said he almost bought it but decided not to get it.

He is usually so caring and is always taking care of dinner and drinks and everything. this situation just made me feel like he doesn’t like me.

Now that he knows i’m upset and writing this post… he’s calling me ungrateful and that he doesn’t want me to move in…. conveniently after everything has been cleaned.

now this has put a huge strain on our relationship and idk what i’m supposed to do. I love him still… is this just a dumb boy mistake or what?

AITA for not liking my boyfriend’s gift for my birthday? if I am the a hole…. plz go easy on me.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

AppeltjeEitje1079 said:

NTA he's trying to make a point, although what point he's trying to make escapes me. Anyway, he's being cruel and can't let it go. If he'd given you the mop as a gag gift, that would have been another thing, you could have demonstrated it in your juicy track suit. But as the main gift, that's just cruel.

I don't know how invested you are in this relationship, but it sounds like he needs to do better, because you surely can do better than him...

Mkhldr said:

Glitter bomb his house and leave. He gave you a MOP girl.

OP responded:

he hates glitter too…

Historical_Kick_3294 said:

Everything about this seems purposeful: he says he’s going to buy you what you’ve mentioned, but it won’t be here on time, setting your expectations high; he gives you a mop, which he must have known you wouldn’t want, and then uses the whole ‘well I’ll take it back then’ to make you feel ungrateful and that you had to use it, which you did; he then openly criticises your cleaning in order to start an argument;

and now, after his place has been cleaned, he uses your supposed ‘ingratitude’ as an excuse to say you can no longer move in. Oh, and of course he never had any intention of buying you the tracksuit. I even think the matching slippers were bought to fool you into thinking it was coming, isn’t he great, I must clean his apartment. This is not a nice guy.

Particular_Cycle9667 said:

Sounds like he just wants someone to clean up after him. I mean, isn’t that what the mop says? I want you to clean and then complains when it doesn’t look like it’s clean honestly I don’t know why you want to move in with this guy when he’s not respecting your feelings.

He promised you something and then he never got it and it’s like he’s holding it over you knowing how much you want it and he’s like oh I changed my mind. I’m not gonna buy it for you in a way that sounding like he’s trying to punish you.

uriousity60 said:

NTA. Don't move in. Stop cleaning up his messes. Yikes, OP! He LIED about getting the gift you wanted. He's testing your boundaries and it seems like you don't have any.