'AITA for getting upset after my husband asked for a paternity test?'
"AITA for getting upset after my husband asked for a paternity test?"
My husband (30M) and I (27F) recently welcomed our baby boy, just a few months ago. Adjusting to life with a newborn has been challenging, but until recently, I had no reason to think he was unhappy or suspected anything.
Two days ago, out of the blue, he asked for a paternity test. He insisted it wasn’t because he suspected me of cheating and that he only wanted “peace of mind,” mentioning how he’d hate to unknowingly raise a child who might not be his. I was heartbroken. To me, asking for a paternity test feels like an accusation of infidelity, even though he kept insisting that wasn’t the case.
But during the conversation, he even brought up little “incidents” that supposedly fueled his doubts, which only added to my hurt and confusion. Overwhelmed and in tears, I ended up shouting at him and leaving to calm down.
The next day, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him and last night, he confronted me about the silent treatment, and we ended up in another heated argument. Since then, we haven’t spoken.
Honestly I’m at a complete loss. I love him deeply, and I don’t want our marriage to unravel—especially now, with a baby involved. This is the first time we’ve had a conflict like this, and I’m struggling to make sense of it all. So AITA for reacting the way I did? Is there something I’m missing?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Tell him you’ll do the paternity test but he has to hand over his phone and computer for « peace of mind ». Then serve him divorce papers lol. If you can’t trust your partner you don’t have a solid relationship .
ProblemZestyclose101 OP responded:
He's very secretive while using his phone/laptop but he's been this way since before we met.
What's good for the goose, is good for the gander. Don't give him time to erase anything.
That should be the stipulation. I’ll get the test if:
1. You let me look through your phone & computer right this second. Not tomorrow, in a few hours, or even 10 minutes now or I will 100% go forward assuming the very worst.
2. If nothing is found on in phone & computer. We do marriage counseling. I won’t do the test till after the first session so you don’t back out.
At this point, you have a lot more of a reason to think he’s a cheater than he does you.
My sons father asked me if our son was his…found out later he was cheating on me pretty much the whole 10 years we were together
'For every finger you point at someone else, there are three pointing back at you.'
My brother always accused his girlfriends of cheating and even asked me the day one of his kids was born, if I thought he looked like him. Turns out my brother was the one cheating on every single girl he dated. Maybe OP’s husband is cheating and is deflecting to make himself feel better. I’d suggest counseling….NTA
As we say in Danish ‘a thief thinks everybody steals’