'AITA for being upset that my BF surprised me with a scientology evaluation during vacation?'
"AITA for being upset that my boyfriend "surprised" me with a 4-hour Scientology evaluation during our vacation?"
Last year, my boyfriend and I went on vacation, he was excited about visiting a Scientology center. I had never heard of it before, and the little he told me definitely didn't prepare me for what happened.
I thought I was just accompanying him for a quick tour. Instead, we were there for over 4 hours. An evaluator made us watch a few films on their history, and then he handed us a "personality test" with over 200 deeply personal questions. The document is called the "Oxford Capacity Analysis."
When it came time to review the results, the evaluator took my boyfriend into a private office and abruptly told me I couldn't go in with him because they needed to speak "privately." I waited for an hour, feeling increasingly anxious, until it was my turn. The evaluator gave me a graph that supposedly mapped out my emotions, my behavior, my relationships, etc.
He told me there were a few "wrong" things about me, and I needed to "correct" my way of thinking and acting if I ever wanted to find peace with myself and my partner. He pointed at what books to buy to "fix" these supposed flaws, leaving me feeling incredibly vulnerable, exposed, and deeply sad.
I still don't know much about Scientology, but I’ve heard everything from glowing praise to horror stories since that day. I’m confused as to why my boyfriend would lead me into a situation where I’d be evaluated like that without even asking if I wanted to participate.
AITA for not seeing this as an opportunity for self-improvement through Dianetics, or am I right to feel that my trust was somewhat betrayed?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
evewater wrote:
NTA. It's a cult and he's trying to pull you into it. Run.
OP responded:
Is it actually?
away-breadfruit-35 wrote:
Scientology is a cult designed to drain your finances by selling you access to ‘training’ that supposedly gets you up to a new OT level. This means Operating Thetan level, because they believe in a galactic baddie call Xenu who threw billions of people into a volcano. Their souls or a Thetan is an immortal being released by this and they that thetans attach themselves to people.
Now what I have told you people on the starting levels aren’t supposed to know, technically knowing this will kill you if you aren’t at the right level. Clearly this is made up bs by their founder Hubbard in the 1950s.
There is a great South Park episode, but if you want to really understand watch the YouTube channel ‘Blown for Good’ (in this context blowing means escaping scientology nothing inappropriate).
OP responded:
What the hell.
boringlyordinary wrote:
Were you living in the cave until now? With all the information accessible to you on the internet I can’t believe you had no idea it’s a cult.
OP responded:
I don't tend to search up cults, I go to school, I work, I sleep.
boringlyordinary responded:
Me neither, and I grew up in Eastern Europe village without the internet and still knew what is Scientology 25 years ago girl…
OP responded:
Oh wow, how old are you?
boringlyordinary responded:
36. What I’m trying to says is that it was sort of common knowledge even in villages in times when internet and google were in diapers.
Emergency-Kale5033 wrote:
It’s a cult that he already belongs to and he did that deliberately. And what possessed you to fill in a deeply personal 200 questionnaire on what was supposed to a “ visit”? You need to end that relationship because of his deception and manipulation - people are seriously harmed by these cults.
Expressionno2123 wrote:
Cult. Run. I know someone personally that her and her mom left it decades ago and moved across the country and they still get random calls just to let them know they can find them no matter how many times they moved or changed numbers.
There are plenty of documentaries to watch to see the real issues in it. Much like the hotel California lyrics “you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave."
DndBabey wrote:
OP please listen to me. Scientology is a cult. Full stop. Anything your boyfriend is telling you about it being “an improvement program” is just indoctrination. It will not help you as things like these are very focused on making you dependent on you.
Please look up cult indoctrination plans because they lure you in by promising everything you could want and then later telling you that you have to pay to get there.
That payment may be financial but it could be emotional or mental.
Please look up Tom Cruise and his history with Scientology. Look at people who managed to walk away from it. Do not take your boyfriend's word for it
OMGCluck wrote:
It was a hypnotic grift back in 1950 when Dianetics was published, and it's still a grift today no matter what they cloaked it in. Hubbard put the author in authoritarian.
Don't use the "C" word to your boyfriend, use the "G" word.
Inevitable-Coach9552 wrote:
NTA. He’s a Scientologist and he hasn’t told you. He’s trying to bring you in. Leave him immediately. All of the stories you read about Scientology are true. Run!