"AITA for being upset that wealthy boyfriend got me a cheap gift?"

My (21F) boyfriend (21M) comes from a wealthy family, and I am from a middle class family. His family went on a cruise, and all the siblings and their s/o’s came along. I was happy to be there and very grateful that his parents invited me.

At one point, everyone was sitting down together and my boyfriend started bringing out gifts. His parents and siblings and their s/o’s got things like watches, dresses, fine wines, and other clearly expensive things. When he got to me, he gave me one of those plastic bracelets with their company name on it. You can get those at the company’s main headquarters for free.

I was a little taken aback and a little embarrassed but didn’t want to be rude. Everyone was kind of looking at me in a way that they were both amused and also pitiful. I didn’t want to complain so I said thanks and moved on. When we got inside, I asked my boyfriend what that was about and he told me to be grateful and stop complaining because he always gets me nice gifts, which is true.

I just stopped pushing it because I felt like I was being selfish there and he did have a point. I feel like what he did was very degrading. He could’ve gotten me no gift at all and that would’ve been less humiliating. I feel like trash for feeling this way, but he’s always been mindful and I don’t understand why he did that. It made me feel cheap in front of everyone. Idk, AITA for feeling this way and even bringing it up?

What so you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

CrystalQueen3000 said:

NTA. Normally I’d vote the other way and have a chat about entitlement but holy shit girl, that was a pointed dig at you designed to make you feel less than. He did it publicly and in front of all his family. I’d nope the F out of that relationship. It’s not about the cost of the gift, it’s about everything else.

GreenEyedKittyCat said:

NTA. Even though his family might be acting very nice towards you, they may be suspicious that you are only with your boyfriend for money. So this might have been a test, and/or a way of him proving to them that you don’t care about material things.

VoyagerVII said:

NTA. The issue isn't that he didn't get you a good enough gift; the issue is that he very carefully and deliberately showed you up in front of his family. I would ask him in private what he was trying to do there.

And PerkyLurkey said:

NTA simply stop mentioning it, and behave as if nothing has happened. Personally I loathe these types of tests, but you too can use this situation as a test. This goes into your vault. This entire event. In the vault. You don’t mention it, you don’t readdress it, you barely remember it if he asked. You simply say “what’s that? Bracelet?

Oh, I thought it was a quirky gift that was very interesting, not something I’ve dwelled on” and then brightly change the subject. This isn’t a big deal, because you don’t have any of the information concerning this situation. So you must let it go, but keep in mind there is this “thing” that may resurface with him, by him running this play again.

If another “test” happens, you can be prepared. You can decide if you want to,respond with a joke, “oh it’s a plastic foot file, which is either a gigantic hint about me needing a pedicure, or I, being reminded again that I’m not yet part of the family” and then just smile brightly, and pretend to scuff up your heel. No big deal.

OR you address it head on, “oh testing my level of gold-diggery with a lesser gift to, gauge my reaction, how many years do I need to date you before I’m trusted to not love you for the gifts you buy me?” And then just stare at him. Don’t look,away, don’t feel guilty, don’t be angry, simply state a fact.

Depending on which way you choose, you will need practice. You will need to practice, without crying during this interaction. Maybe if you practice 100 times, you can be ready. This will happen again. You need to be ready. You will need to,decide what to,do before it happens again. But you can’t bring it up beforehand, because then, you will be judged as caring only about the money.

You need to react in the moment to-start a conversation. Good luck

PS he may be proposing soon, and wanted to test your reaction in front of family. It’s a BS move, but it’s possible. Be ready.

And stacity said:

NTA. A company bracelet? I think this was a gag or a test? A test whether you’re in it for him or his money? Who knows? But there’s some disconnect here…

EDIT:

To address some of the commonly asked questions, me and my boy have been dating for 2 years. His family and I get along very well. His parents paid for the cruise for everyone.

EDIT #2:

So, someone pointed out that it’s actually called a yacht and not a cruise. It’s his family’s yacht and his parents paid for us meaning they paid for the chefs, butlers, plane tickets to come out to that place. I didn’t know there was a difference. Minor detail, but yeah.

UPDATE:

Hey everyone! Thanks for all your comments and theories. Some of them made me cry, some of them made me laugh, and some of them made me angry and confused. All of them helped me gain confidence to talk to my boyfriend about the situation.

I straight up asked him about what went though his mind when he did that. I told him I’ve been thinking about it ever since we came back from the trip. Why was he even giving our gifts? Why did he give me that? Why did he think it was okay Actually, no one on here guessed it right! Neither did I!

He was giving out gifts because he wanted to give me a big gift, and I was supposed to be the last one. He actually had managed to set up a day with me and this adorable cat I follow on TikTok. The owner lives close near the harbor where we’d be stopping, and I’ve loved this cat since 2020 when we first started dating. I still stalk the page regularly!

But the owner had backed out last minute, even after charging a shit ton. We were supposed to meet soon, but now he didn’t have a gift for me and basically got scammed. He said what he did was stupid and he just took a bracelet out last minute to save face… but he realizes now it was stupid lol. As for his comment, he apologized and said he has no excuse.

He said he was more angry with himself and the cat owner and took it out on me. I understood and forgave him because it was out of character and I know he just wanted to do something nice for me. Alls well it ends well guys 😂 We’re moving past this! Sucks that I can’t meet that little kitty, but this is a story I’ll always remember.