"AITA for refusing to visit/speak to my MIL after she told my partner to 'marry someone else'?"

Me(23f) and my partner Al(25m) have been together for 7 years. We have two beautiful young children. A little bit of context: Two weeks prior to visiting I had just found out Al was cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship so I was feeling rather sensitive this day.

Anyway, we were visiting my MIL a few months ago, while we were there we started talking about Al's immigration status and when we would be getting married so he can get his citizenship. I told my MIL I wouldn't get married just for some papers. I told her if I was to get married it would be because we love eachother and would want to spend the rest of our lives together (I was holding back tears as I said this).

Also me and Al have never discussed getting engaged let alone get married. It's something that would always get brushed off to which he would say "wait until we're older."

That being said she completely lost her mind she yelled out to Al "then marry someone else" followed by a ton of rude remarks to me like "you've never had a job who's going to take care of you" "you don't know how to do anything" she kept arguing to me but I didn't say anything since I'm not the type to be confrontational and was just taken aback by her reaction and comments.

After a few minutes Al steps in and tells her to calm down and to stop attacking me. She stops and goes upstairs leaving me, Al and FIL alone. FIL apologizes by saying "that's how your mom is do whatever you guys want" we left after that and I haven't been back since.

Now, Al is starting to tell me we're going to have to go visit them again soon and he wants me to go too. I told him I wouldn't because I wouldn't feel welcomed or comfortable being at her house after last time.

This has now turned into an arguement between me and Al. He says I need to go or else me and him are going to be on bad terms.( As if we're doing so good right now) He brushes it off by saying that's how his mom is and I need to deal with it. I told him I wouldn't be going back unless she apologized to me. He laughs and says she's not going to apologize. So that leaves us to where we are now.

I'm not quite sure when he's planning on going back but MIL's birthday is coming up soon so I think that's when. Maybe I'm being petty but I also think I have the right to feel this way after such an irrational reaction. I have to get some other opinions before then so AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 said:

ESH. You are being TA to yourself by sinking even more time into a guy who has been cheating on you for years. You should definitely take your MIL's advice and move on.

AngusLynch09 said:

So you've had two kids young, but marriage is something you need to wait until you're older? I dunno, ESH. After re-reading, I can kinda see why your mother in law is so angry. A cheating son, a sah Dil who pops out kids but won't think about marriage but is fine to stay in a bad relationship. It must be exhausting for her to watch.

floridaeng said:

YTA to yourself for staying with someone that has been cheating on you for even a portion of the time you say he has. If he needs to marry you for immigration reasons then he probably should be getting one of his affair partners to marry him. See a lawyer about getting a legal ruling for him to pay child support.

BourbonBetty said:

NTA. Frankly, you should be more concerned with being in a long term relationship with a serial cheater than his a$$hole of a mom.

Lumpy_Ear2441 said:

Do you have friends or family that will take you and your kids in, until you get on your feet? You NEED to stop being a victim. I know it's scary. You're so young and have 2 kids. However, you will have so much respect for yourself. Do whatever you can. Go to school. Get some skills. Get a job. Get your independence. Even one day at a time, is going in the right direction. Be brave!! You can do it!!!

And OP posted this response:

We currently live with my parents and I don't have the best relationship with them either. I think it's mainly due to the fact that Al has alienated me from my whole family/friends from not going to any gatherings and holidays to not going to my brothers wedding. We've only ever gone to his parents house.

I've tried to go back to school/apply for jobs but everytime I do it's an argument that leads to him saying " go if you want to but when you come back don't expect me to want be with you anymore ". So I drop it just to keep the peace. I understand how controlling everything has been, I'm just now realizing I've been a doormat all these years.

Good luck, OP.