'AITA for walking out on my date?' 'She has 5 kids from 3 different fathers.'
"AITA for walking out on my date as soon as she told me she had 5 kids from 3 different fathers?"
I was on a first date with a woman who said she was 32 that I met on an online dating site. I met her at the restaurant and the first thing that I noticed was she looked very little like her pictures. I wouldn't call it a catfish but she did wonders with her angles choices and usages of filters to present her self as best as possible in her profile.
The deception instantly turned me off but I decide to proceed with the date anyways. After our drinks arrive but before our food arrives while, getting to know each other she tells me she has 5 kids! I know from our brief online interaction that she has never been married so I pretty bluntly ask if they all have the same father and she says no.
She doesn't say how many baby Daddys she has unprompted so I bluntly ask "with how many men" and she seemed embarrassed to answer, then says 3. My response was "wow" and we both sat there in silence for about 30 seconds as I desperately try to not burst out into laughter. I'm not sure why I found the situation so funny, maybe it was a nervous tick.
I tell her "I don't see this going anywhere," leave enough money on the table for my drink and the food I ordered, and walk out without any further conversation. I wanted to say you should disclose you have 5 kids with 3 different men on your profile to prevent from wasting people's time, but I didn't want to add insult to injury knowing I was about to walk out. I suppose I could have asked before meeting her.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Good_Ad6336 said:
NTA, dating a single parent is not for everyone. It’s not just men not wanting to date single mothers. Would you be surprised or upset if women didn’t want to date a single father of 5 kids with 3 different mothers?
Ballas333 said:
NTA. Having kids is something you should bring up before a first date. It's completely reasonable to end a date because the other person failed to provide that kind of information. Plus stepping up to be a father figure for 5 kids that aren't yours is not for everyone.
lorelaidoordie said:
NTA for deciding to walk away if you knew it wasn’t a match for you, but YTA for how you handled it. Leaving without explaining properly or having a bit more compassion made the situation worse than it needed to be. Being polite in dating is always a good look.
Ok_Manner_8564 said:
YTA for the way you acted, not wanting to go out with single parents is fine, but with the way you phrased your post it sounds like you are just a massive pos.
dione1384 said:
YTA. Not for your personal preference, but how you responded. And she could have disclosed it to you personally (not on her profile because she doesn’t know whom she might meet.) And yes if that was one of your red flags you should’ve asked before going out on the date. It’s okay to not want to deal with certain situations but you could’ve been more graceful. Being kind takes little effort.
grunt91o1 said:
YTA bud. It's not wrong to not want to date her after finding this stuff out, but you treated her like trash and your d-head attitude, and handling the situation the way you did is what makes you an ahole.
Atala9ta said:
YTA. The cruelty and rudeness of you. A first date is not a life commitment and you couldn’t summon anything from your soul for another human being other than laughter and contempt?
You couldn’t offer an hour of conversation out of your life and a kind goodbye? I can’t imagine treating anyone as badly as this and I just wonder if you treat everyone this way. What an awful way to move through the world.