'AITA for walking out of a friend’s bday dinner after she mocked me for bringing my own cake?'

"AITA for leaving my friend’s birthday dinner early because she mocked me for bringing my own cake?"

So this happened last weekend and I still feel weird about it. I (24F) went to my friend Kira’s (also 24F) birthday dinner. She made this whole group reservation at this super fancy place where everything on the menu looked like it was trying to fight my wallet. But hey, it’s her birthday, and I love her, so I showed up, smiled, and even curled my hair.

Anyway, I have some food allergies, nothing dramatic, but enough that I usually bring my own little dessert when I know there won’t be anything safe for me to eat. I texted her earlier that day like, “Hey! I’m bringing my own slice of cake because I know the place has, like, walnuts in everything. Is that okay?” She never replied. I figured she was busy getting ready and didn’t think much of it.

Dinner comes. Everyone's ordering their fancy tiny plates and sipping $14 drinks. I’m eating like three lettuce leaves and pretending to be full. Then I quietly pull out my little slice of safe, nut-free chocolate cake in a container. I wasn’t making a scene, I swear I even brought my own fork.

But Kira sees me and straight up goes, “Are you serious? This is my birthday. You can’t just bring your own cake to my dinner.” I tried to explain it’s not like I brought a whole birthday cake and candles. It’s just a slice. For my own mouth. That I paid for. Because I can’t eat hers.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You could’ve just skipped dessert like a normal person.” So I felt awkward, packed up my cake, said happy birthday again, paid my share (even over-tipped), and left early. Now a few people in the group are saying I was rude and that I made the night “about me” because I left early and brought my own dessert.

Kira still hasn’t replied to my text. My other friends are kinda split half think she overreacted, and the other half think I should’ve just sucked it up and gone without dessert. So, AITA for bringing my own cake to someone else’s birthday dinner and then leaving early when I felt embarrassed?

P.S. I didn’t even eat the cake. It’s still in my fridge looking sad.

What do you think? AITA for bringing her own cake to a birthday dinner and then walking out when she was mocked for it?

This is what commenters had to say:

SleepDeprived1208 said:

NTA. She ghosted you and then made a scene. And if she truly was a friend, she would know your allergy and let ya eat the damn slice.

OP responded:

Right?? Like it wasn’t even a fancy slice, just a humble little cake trying to exist in peace. I seriously didn’t expect her to flip over it. And yeah, she 100% knows about my allergy, which is why it felt extra weird. Appreciate you seeing it for what it is.

evercase19 said:

There’s no way all these NTA voters function in society. Just eat the cake when you get home like any reasonable person would do!

toomany_geese said:

Kind of flabbergasted at the responses tbh. Are we all toddlers? Is there anyone here who actually participates in societal norms?

You are most definitely the AH for bringing your own food to a restaurant and attempting to eat it, especially at a high end establishment. Doubly so because it was a dessert, not a main, and your friend is correct, the normal person thing would have been to skip dessert. She is the birthday girl, you don't NEED your own cake. Your friend was a snooty bitch. ESH.

GardeniaFrangipani said:

This is beyond stupid. What restaurant on this planet puts walnuts in everything on the menu? Which super fancy restaurant allows you to bring your own dessert? Who orders 3 lettuce leaves? What 24 year old uses “like” as OP does? What 24 year old friends have a falling out over a slice of cake and drag their friends into the disagreement? AI?

AllyKalamity said:

Are you unaware that you can’t bring your own food into a restaurant. It’s unsanitary and incredibly rude

toasty99 said:

Mild YTA for bringing outside food into a restaurant without asking. Tacky.

As far as how you reacted, that was a bit drama-llama of you to make a scene and leave (though she did ghost you and was rude about your cake). I’ll say ESH for this part.

Substantial-Sir-9947 said:

ESH. She overreacted and could have responded to your text before it was even an issue, but, you’re an adult, you can have a meal without dessert, it’s very strange to bring uour own singular piece of cake to a restaurant but it’s even weirder when it’s someone else’s birthday.

And OP responded:

Hey, totally fair take. I get how it might seem weird from the outside. I promise I wasn’t trying to make some kind of dessert power move. I just didn’t want to sit there awkwardly while everyone else enjoyed cake I couldn’t eat.

I was hoping Kira would text back so I could just ask if it was cool, but silence = assumed okay. Maybe I misread that one. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to be dramatic or disrespect her birthday. I just didn’t wanna be the sad girl in the corner chewing ice cubes lol. Lesson learned though… next time, I’ll just eat the sad cake at home.