'AITA for walking out of a wedding after my BF’s ex showed up and he acted like I didn’t exist?'
"AITA for walking out of a wedding after my boyfriend’s ex showed up and he acted like I didn’t exist all night, then called me 'insecure' when I said it made me uncomfortable?"
I’m 27F, and my boyfriend (29M) took me to his close friend’s wedding last weekend. I thought it would be a fun night good food, open bar, dancing, the usual. I even bought a new dress because it was our first real event together as a couple. everything was fine until I realized his ex was there.
I didn’t even know she’d be attending. the second he spotted her, it was like I ceased to exist. He went over, hugged her, and they started catching up like they were starring in some rom-com reunion scene. I tried to play it cool. I sat at our table, made small talk with some of his friends, and convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal.
But it keep going. every time I looked over, they were laughing, touching each other’s arms, whispering like no one else was around. then they danced not once, not twice, but multiple times. I just sat there trying not to cry into my drink while everyone else seemed to notice how friendly they were being.
I quietly pulled him aside and told him it was making me uncomfortable. I wasn’t yelling or accusing him of anything I literally just said it made me feel weird. he rolled his eyes and said, you’re being insecure. she’s just my ex, relax. that hurts. like I was the crazy one for caring that my boyfriend couldn’t stay away from his ex at a wedding I was invited to.
I tried to stay for another twenty minutes, but I just couldn’t do it. I told one of his friends that I wasn’t feeling well and grabbed a ride home. he didn’t text or call until around midnight asking, where did you go? I told him I went home because I feel disrespected and didn’t want to sit there feeling invisible anymore.
He said I overreacted and made a scene by leaving. he even told me I embarrassed him in front of his friends. I told him that if he wanted to spend the night with his ex, he could’ve at least been upfront about it. he replied, you’re proving why I can’t bring you around people you always make things about you.
Now he’s been distant, barely talking to me. Part of me feels like maybe I should’ve stayed and just powered through it, but another part of me feels like walking out was the only self-respect I had left in that moment.
So… AITA for walking out of the wedding after my boyfriend’s ex showed up and he acted like I didn’t exist all night, then called me insecure when I said it made me uncomfortable?
This is what people had to say to OP:
queenlegolas said:
Break up and be done with it. He doesn't respect you.
AsparagusOverall8454 said:
Just throw the whole man away. He sucks
Tight-Shift5706 said:
OP, guy here.
Two messages for your EX bf:
1 BULLSH!T. 2. FK OFF!
Lose his number. The guy's a dick. He completely demeaned and disrespected you.
jgasbarro said:
You’ll only be an AH if you don’t break up with the guy. Find someone who only sees you when you walk into the room. You deserve that.
Two days later, OP shared this update:
So, a lot has happened since my original post. after the wedding, things between my boyfriend and me got pretty tense. He kept acting cold and distant, and every time I tried to talk about what happened, he’d say I was dragging it out or making drama. I honestly started wondering if I was overreacting, until a few of his friends reached out.
Turns out, several people at the wedding noticed how flirty he was being with his ex. one even said they were basically attached at the hip all night and that I looked uncomfortable. that was validating, but also made me feel worse because he’d made me feel crazy for feeling that way.
I tried to talk to him again, calmly, just to get some closure. He doubled down, said he wasn’t doing anything wrong, and accused me of being jealous and controlling. that was kind of the final straw. I told him I’m not going to be in a relationship where my feelings get brushed off like that, and I ended things.
He texted me a few days later saying he didn’t think I’d actually break up over something so small. but honestly, it wasn’t small to me. It was about respect, and he made it pretty clear I wasn’t getting any. So yeah, we’re done. and after reading the comments and hearing from people who saw the same thing I did, I feel a lot more confident that leaving that wedding was the right call.