'AITA for walking out of our gender reveal after my BF’s ex showed up and he acted like it was NBD?'

"AITA for walking out of our gender reveal after my BF’s ex showed up uninvited and he acted like it was no big deal?"

I (25F) am currently 21 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend (27M) and I planned a small gender reveal with close friends and family. Nothing over the top, backyard setup, cupcakes, balloons, just something chill and happy.

About 15 minutes before we were supposed to do the reveal, his ex shows up. Not just shows up walks in like she owns the place, hugs him, brings a gift, and says something like, I wouldn’t miss this. I helped raise this man. I just stood there like... what?

For background: they dated for five years, broke up two years before we got together. He claims they’re still on “good terms” and talks to her here and there. I’ve told him before that I’m not comfortable with that, especially now that I’m pregnant. He always says she’s just part of his past and not a threat.

I pulled him aside and asked why she was here. He told me she texted him earlier asking if she could come and he said yes because he didn’t think it was a big deal. No heads-up. No warning. And this is a party I planned. While I’m carrying our child.

I told him this was disrespectful and I didn’t want her there. He got annoyed and told me to relax and not make a scene, and that it’s not the time to be jealous or petty. So I left. I didn’t yell or go off I just grabbed my stuff and walked out because I wasn’t about to sit through that and pretend I was fine.

Now he’s mad at me for “ruining” the reveal and says I embarrassed him in front of his family. His mom texted me saying I need to grow up and stop being so emotional for the baby’s sake. I honestly feel like no one is seeing how messed up it is that he invited his ex to something this personal, without even asking me. So... AITA for walking out?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

stirfrymetothemoon said:

Oh this is not gonna end well.

OP responded:

Yeah… I’m already bracing for impact. Part of me knew it was a bad idea, but here we are..

EveningWithAngeles said:

NTA at all. You planned this, you're pregnant, and he invited his ex without even a heads-up? That’s not “good terms,” that’s straight-up disrespect. The fact that he doubled down and told you to “relax” instead of supporting you? Nah. You didn’t ruin anything, he did, by prioritizing his ex’s comfort over yours at your own gender reveal. I’d have walked out too, pregnant or not.

OP responded:

Exactly!! Like how was I supposed to just stand there smiling while his ex is front and center at something so personal to me?? It wasn’t even about jealousy, it was the complete lack of respect. and then being told to "relax" like I was just being hormonal?? No. I left because I deserved better in that moment.

Sweet_Celebration688 said:

Absolutely NTA. There's no way an ex should be involved in a gender reveal. And btw, how did the ex find out about it? There's more to this story OP. Watch your back!

OP responded:

That’s what I said! I didn’t even know she knew about it turns out my boyfriend mentioned it to her “in passing” because they “still talk sometimes.” Like??? I’m honestly still pissed and kinda rethinking a lot right now.

SnooRadishes8552 said:

Nta this is messed up if the roles were reversed and you were on "good terms" with your Ex and your Ex showed up to the baby shower with out him know he would be accusing you of cheating on him and that the baby wasn't his. He doesn't care about your feelings, and if he did, he wouldn't be acting like it's okay for his ex to be there.

I doubt that they are truly over each other, and they still have feelings for each other. Also what about yourside of the family any of them defend you from this because if this happened to my sister I would be yelling and fighting everyone who thinks it's okay for the ex to show up like I would accuse him of cheating and tell him shit along with his ex because SHE SHOULDNT BE THERE !!!

Holiday-Most-7129 said:

Oh boy. At least now you know who his priority is. You ruined the big moment for the two of them. Good luck, I hope things don't drag out for too long with this

And George7athome said:

NTA but she accomplished what she set out to do. She ruined the party. I totally understand how you feel . I would really rethink this relationship. I married someone who was still in love with their ex. Its not really a good place to be.

We'll keep you posted on any future updates!