'AITA for not wanting to babysit my nephew anymore after what my brother did?'
"AITA for not wanting to babysit my nephew anymore after what my brother did?"
Ok, so this has been bothering me for a while, and I’m at my wits’ end. I (28F) have been babysitting my nephew (5M) for the past year or so, a few times a week. I work from home, and my brother (34M) and his wife asked me if I could help out because they both have demanding jobs. At first, I didn’t mind because I love my nephew, and he’s generally well-behaved.
But recently, my brother did something that has me fuming. Last week, I was babysitting, and my nephew had a total meltdown. He didn’t want to go to bed, and when I tried to calm him down, he threw his toys all over the place.
I told my brother about it when he came to pick him up, and he brushed it off, saying “he’s just a kid.” I told him I understand that, but it was out of control, and he should talk to him about it. My brother basically ignored me, took my nephew, and left.
A couple of days later, I found out through a mutual friend that my brother had been telling people I’m “too soft” and that I “don’t know how to handle kids.” He even joked that I was probably making it up because I “can’t deal with real-life responsibilities.”
I was so hurt. I’ve been helping them out for free, rearranging my schedule for them, and this is how he talks about me behind my back? When I confronted him about it, he acted like it was no big deal and said, “It was just a joke, don’t be so sensitive.”
Since then, I’ve been seriously reconsidering whether I want to keep babysitting for them. I feel like my effort isn’t appreciated, and now I’m being mocked for trying to help. My brother is mad because he thinks I’m overreacting, and my mom said I should just let it go, but I feel like I deserve more respect than this. So, AITA for not wanting to babysit anymore after what my brother said?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
No-Table2410 said:
NTA. “I’ve recently been told I should toughen up and be more assertive, so I’m not doing you any more favours by babysitting."
Amazing-Wave4704 said:
The only one you're too soft with is your brother. Tell him the free ride is over, youre done. NTA.
Automatic_Grass_9837 said:
NTA...not your kid, not your responsibility. Of course, it’s nice and generous to help family matters out and if you care about your nephew, I don’t see why it would have been a problem. BUT not only are they not addressing his behavior, he’s talking negatively about you behind your back. That’s some opp sh^&*.
The reality is that any facility that takes care of children are not only hella expensive but are NOT tolerating this behavior. Your brother should be thanking you everyday and stand on your boundaries.
JustForKicks36 said:
NTA his comments are incredibly disrespectful considering you're doing him a favor, and I don't think you'd be wrong in choosing to refuse to babysit if he refuses to parent properly. While tantrums are a part of raising kids, so is teaching your children that it's not the appropriate way to communicate.
One without the other means ensuring the child will grow up unable to manage their own emotions and will constantly be taking what they feel out on others.
apearlmae said:
NTA and I'm sorry it's come to this. They really should have been paying you for your time and it's clear they don't respect you. His reaction to this is telling and it's absolutely time to put an end to it.
shammy_dammy said:
NTA. If you're done, you're done. You were doing them a favor and it's over. They can go find a babysitter and pay for this.