"AITA for wanting to change my 1.5 year old twins' names?"
Hey everyone, I have a bit of a situation I don't feel like I'm the ahole and maybe you can put it into perspective. Me and my wife have twins 1.5 years old. They're a treasure, center of our world and their older brother is wonderful at helping out. We've spent this whole summer outside going to parks and this is when the problem first came up.
A couple who we met previously and have become "park buddies" as my older son calls them commented on our twins name stating that we had to be "superfans" I was confused but my wife looked embarrassed and wouldn't meet my eye.
I love the kids names my daughter is named Morgan a name I always loved - means sea-dweller and as we live in a non-english speaking country it also reads well in the native language. My son's name is Dexter which also reads well in the local language and although I didn't like the connection to Dexter's laboratory - which I commented on at the time. I did really like the name "Dex" so we named them this.
When I was chasing them around the park I was yelling their names and I happened to do it with the boys name first and the girls name second. Dexter, Morgan which was when the couple commented on the names. I didn't comment on it at the time and my wife brushed it off. I was off playing with the kids.
I confronted my wife later about it and kept pushing and turns out its based upon on the crime series Dexter. I watched an episode last night and I probably would have enjoyed it if I wasn't getting angrier about the names. I think it's totally unfair my wife named our children after a fictional character, a serial killer who's obsessed with blood without at least giving me the heads up.
We had a fight - actually the first major one I remember having. I wasn't even that angry with the name more with her for keeping it a lie and then making excuses and refusing to see my side. If she at least came clean about it I would probably accept it. Dexter and Morgan can already both be poked fun at already but together on twins its just weird.
The kids aren't really speaking yet and I think now is the time to change if something also its best to change now before there is more documentation in the future but the wife refuses saying I can't change the name of her babies.
I'm insisting on changing them at least verbally to their middle names which are much more typical and non-tv show related. So am I an ahole for insisting on using the kids middle names getting in a fight about it?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Fit-Refuse-1447 said:
ESH, with caveats. Are you for real? Your wife's so into the Dexter series that she insisted to name her kids after the titular character? And you didn't notice that level of obsession? How long have you known her anyway?
If your wife named her children with a joke names, that's an AH thing to do. If you change the names, that's an AH thing to do as well. The names are parts of kids' identities. If they insist on new name, that's fine but it is not your call anymore.
FWIW: kids are capable of poking fun of anything, so a name is not going to protect from anything. If so inclined, other kids are making fun of accent, hair, skin color, clothes, their parents, whatever. Anything and everything goes.
JPenelope said:
ESH. Sorry, but I’m having a hard time believing that your wife is so into this show, to the point of naming her children after the titular character, and you had no idea? It never came up discussing baby names, “hey you suggested Dexter, where did you get that name from?," nothing?? Your older child isn’t named Walter, is he?
Your wife should have been forthright about where she got the names from, that’s why she’s also an AH. At this point, the kids probably already recognize their names so I think it would be really confusing for them if you were to change them. I think you might just always need to introduce Morgan first.
CowNoseEagleRay said:
YTA. You’ve liked the names up until now, so just keep it like that. They’ve had their own meaning for you. Use nicknames if you want. Or middle names? I wouldn’t know they’re from the tv show coz I don’t watch it. Of course I know Dexter is the name of the character, but it’s also just a name. I think you’re overreacting.
juliapea4 said:
NTA, your real issue isn’t the names but that your wife hid the truth from you, naming twins after characters from a show about a serial killer without telling you is a big breach of trust.
Dexter and Morgan are fine names on their own, but together the reference is obvious, and you have every right to feel blindsided. Changing names at 1.5 is tough but not impossible, and using their middle names or nicknames is a fair compromise if you can’t shake the association.
R4eth said:
YTA. Dude. There's hundreds of shows that feature characters with those names. I guarantee almost nobody will make the connection. The few that do, will either brush it off as coincidence or be like "oh, that's neat!" and then move on.
You're making a big deal out of literally nothing. Your wife a bit of an ah for not coming clean immediately, but then I definitely have to wonder how well you know your wife if you didn't pick up on her being such a big fan of the show.
WestCovina1234 said:
YTA. It makes zero sense that your wife is so obsessed with that show that she named the kids after it and you had no idea at all. Second, do you have any clue how many millions (hell, billions) of people have no idea about anything to do with that show?
Third, the kids are plenty old enough to know their names, changing them now is just crazy. Finally, I have a hard time believing one word of this post. If any of it is true, YTA.
MaeSilver909 said:
YTA. Millions of people around the world name their children after characters. Non-fictional and fictional. Your children have lovely names stop letting someone else get in your head.