'AITA for wanting to end my marriage because our child is biologically my husband's?'

"AITA for wanting to end my marriage because our child is biologically my husband's?"

There's a lot to this and it's all newly revealed to me so I'm still processing and I'm sure I'll be all over the place. I'm so angry about all this. My husband's sister adopted a child 4 years ago. She had talked before about being a single mom by choice and when her friend had a child she didn't want to raise she said it made sense to step in and offer to become the baby's mom.

Everyone was supportive and welcomed the child into the family. Two and a half years ago my husband's sister was diagnosed with MS. She unfortunately declined rapidly and asked us to take in her child and we agreed. We had not yet had children of our own at that point which made it easier.

We made sure she still spend time with her child and she asked that we continue raising the child, and I'm saying the child to keep anonymity, no matter how bad she gets/if she dies. We agreed. My husband never acted weird around the child. Never acted like he had some secret.

He acted like an uncle willing to step in and raise his sister's child. Recently his sister confessed to me that my husband was the biological father of this child. She said my husband and her best friend used to hook up occasionally and he did it again right before we got married and this child is the result of his infidelity.

I was sick. She told me she couldn't keep lying to me because eventually it would come out and she wanted to minimize the damage. I confronted my husband and he denied it so I asked him to do a DNA test. He's the father. There's no doubt.

DNA confirmed he's the biological father. He told me nothing happened since we were married and he loves me and he's sorry for what he did. He said it was a drunk night before our wedding and he would never do something like that again. Then he said he wanted us to be a family and offer to adopt his child and raise them as our own. He told me this doesn't have to end us.

I left the house and have been staying with my sister since the DNA results. I'm disgusted and I don't want to sign up for this. I know that baby is innocent but I now can only see what my husband did and I cannot imagine raising them and acting like their mom and keeping my husband in my life.

My husband's sister has reached out to apologize multiple times and she told the rest of their family the truth also. My husband's parents have tried to contact me to get me back to my husband. They have told me I have a family now and I can't leave and especially not with their daughter unable to raise this baby again.

I had to block them because their messages were blaming and shaming me more and more for not agreeing to marriage counseling and moving forward as a family. I don't see a way back from this.

But I have been in this child's life since birth and raised them for more than a year and a half. I just know I could never be a good mom to them knowing what I know. AITA for wanting to divorce and walk away?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

KateNotEdwina said:

I can’t imagine how you feel right now. Just the utter betrayal and them all expecting you to be fine with it all is insane.

MadGeckoLady said:

NTA He can look after his own child and his family can help. I would never get over that betrayal.

Vestiel said:

He cheated. That's all that matters. The kid is innocent, that's true, but it's not your responsibility. And using the kid as an argument to forgive him is downright manipulative. Divorce him and move on. You're not at fault here.

RavenclawPrincess99 said:

NTA. A one night stand before the wedding would have been enough of a reason for divorce. But lying to you for four years about his affair child , not even taking proper responsibility for it until his sister got sick is disgusting.

If he’d told you the truth MAYBE you could have forgiven him but that would be up to you. He even denied it once you told him you knew the truth by refusing to do the DNA test. He’s the AH and you’re well shot of him.

Cursd818 said:

NTA. He cheated. He can adopt his daughter and raise her on his own. He will cheat again if you go back. He has very likely cheated on you a lot more than you realize. His entire family will help him to hide his infidelity in future. You can't trust any of them. Divorce his worthless ass and go no contact with the whole horrible lot of them.

Adelucas said:

NTA. You were presented with a lie that your husband kept from you. It's enormous. I don't know many people who would be willing to raise their husbands affair baby. It usually destroys the marriage completely.

You know you can't even look at the child without being constantly reminded of your husbands infidelity, and it's not fair on the child as you would never get past that.

foolmeonce-01 said:

NTA. Anyone criticizing you decision, ask this question. Which one of your kids is an affair child?