'AITA for not wanting to hang out with my husband's friend as a couple?' 'His wife was a bridezilla.'

"AITA for not wanting to hang out with my husband's friend as a couple after his wife was a bridezilla and yelled at me?"

My husband was a groomsmen in a wedding a little under 2 years ago. He was very close with the groom but unfortunately, their friendship started falling off shortly after the groom started dating his now wife because she's socially abrasive and has to be “right” in conversation as if everything were debate.

She once yelled at my husband to “get out” when he he walked inside of their house to use the restroom (he had groom's permission) when he was invited over for a visit with the groom. It ended up being an uncomfortable visit in the garage.

Que the wedding: The bride called me on our way to the venue (bridal party was asked to arrive 2 hours early) and asked me to pick up a sign in book since it was overlooked. I was happy to help.

My husband and I, 1 other wife, a friend of the groom and a few other groomsmen are chatting a bit during some idle time when I hear the bride screaming at the top of her lungs that anyone NOT in the bridal party is NOT ALLOWED to be in this part of the venue until the wedding begins.

Being one of the 3 guests there, one of 2 with spouses in the bridal party, I was very embarrassed. were no signs, no instruction, the valet never notified us, security never notified us of this rule. I immediately wanted to leave and offered to pick my husband up when it was over.

My husband was upset by this and said that he would leave if they found it acceptable to treat me like that, but I told him to stay, chalked it up to her being stressed. I ended up sitting in my car for over an hour with the other wife and didn’t feel fully comfortable for the rest of the night.

We’ve seen very little of them since the wedding. They had a gender reveal and we didn’t make it because my mom just died a few days prior and I was still an absolute mess. They were pissed we didn’t go and made it an opportunity to talk badly about us. Since then, I’ve only seen her for short moments in social settings where I try my best to keep my distance.

The groom has been begging my husband and I to go boating with them but I really don’t want to be stuck on a boat with her for hours. My husband keeps bringing it up, and I keep reminding him that being around her makes me feel sick to my stomach. I tell him to go by himself, but he refuses this option.

Every week for the past month he’s brought up offers to go boating and every week I refuse to entertain the idea of it. Husband seems bothered by having to turn down what should be a fun time but understands that it wouldn’t actually be a fun time. I feel like I may be the AH because husband and groom were very close and now that he’s married to a woman I don’t feel comfortable around, I am becoming the “factor” that keeps them apart.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Entire-Conclusion540 said:

NTA: your husband is looking for you to keep his friend's wife company. Suggest to hubby that maybe they should just make it a man's trip for just them two.

FrontTour1583 said:

NTA and it’s time to tell hubby he needs to stop asking you. You shouldn’t have to keep telling him no and reminding him of how much you don’t want to be around her. His buddy’s inability to stand up to his wife and tell her he’s having a hang out with his buddy without her isn’t your problem.

Hubby can go alone or not at all but he needs to stop bringing it up to you. Those who are saying weddings are stressful and you should give her one more chance are ignoring her horrific behavior at the gender reveal.

You had just lost your mother and instead of them offering deepest sympathy she got pissed at you and bad mouthed you to friends when you didn’t attend? That’s ahole behavior. She’s shown her character and you don’t need to spend time with someone so incredibly awful. Your husband needs to back off.

No-Shock-2055 said:

NTA. Your husband's friend married an AH, so now the husband's friend has to live with the consequences. I know you love your husband, but you shouldn't be forced to spend time with someone who is unpleasant. Stand your ground.

beach_vibesonly said:

NTA you’re better then me I would have gone off by now lol your husband is a grown man (I’m assuming) he can’t go places alone.

Aahnoone said:

NTA. No one should be forced to spend time with a person who never matured beyond the high school mean girl stage. She is lucky you are nice. Others, who are just as "abrasive" when needed, would have put her in her place multiple times by now.

Horror-Reveal7618 said:

NTA. Sounds like your husband wants you to be his human shield so he doesn't have to deal with his friend's wife in that trip.

jeffprop said:

NTA. Your husband needs to tell his friend you refuse to socialize with his wife. Them complaining about you missing the gender reveal because your mother passed away (my condolences on your loss) and then talking bad about you is reason enough to never want to see her face again unless you got a sincere apology. If the friend cannot accept that, then ask your husband if they should still be friends.

Later, OP updated the post to include:

My husband basically told me to suck it up and get over it. When he told me his friend wants to go do an activity that we already are into and do with other people, I voiced that I didn’t want to do it with her and he got upset, and basically made a complete change of heart about how she has treated me, said the gender reveal thing wasn’t them “actually talking crap” (it was)...

And that since she yelled at 2 other people and not just me, it’s not that big of a deal. I’ve isolated myself to the bedroom right now because I just can’t believe that this is my life now.